


New Romantics

by chaoticqueer



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, At first I was trying to write something fluffy but then I "accidentally" added some angst, Clarke and Lexa are giant dorks, Clarke has an anxiety disorder, Did I mention Raven is everywhere?, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Lexa has been through a lot, Lexa is kind of a nerd, Octavia thinks she's a matchmaker, Past Abuse, Raven is basically everywhere, Swearing, YouTuber Clarke, YouTuber Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 57,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3697748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticqueer/pseuds/chaoticqueer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Clarke has a weirdly popular youtube channel, Octavia is her annoying yet amazing roommate, Raven is famous??? and Lexa is kinda nerdy and has deep conversations with her pets when nobody is around.</p>
<p>No, Taylor Swift's song doesn't have that much in common with this story, but well, I suck at coming up with titles...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in a long time, so forgive me if I'm a little rusty. Also, Clarke may seem a little out of character in the beggining of the story, but her behavior will be justified later on, don't worry about that. I already have some chapters ready, so this should be kind of a long fic. Oh, and some chapters will have trigger warnings because I have no chill and like to make people feel things, so there's gonna be some dark stuff I'm going to explore here eventually. Trust me, though, I know what I'm doing (kind of).

Clarke empties her third cup of coffee. How the hell is she supposed to think about a video idea for tomorrow? Her week was boring, she's exhausted and she can't post a cover as she usually does because her throat feels like it's full of rocks and sand. She should really think about doing something else.  
  
The girl hears steps and soon enough, her roommate, Octavia is opening her bedroom door, smiling like a creepy clown. Clarke is afraid of clowns. And slightly afraid of Octavia when she gets too drunk.  
  
"Please, tell me you're not drunk right now."  
  
"Well, hello to you too, roomie." Her friend sits down on Clarke's bed and crosses her legs joyfully. "Don't worry, I'm not drunk. But only because I was the designated driver this time around. What made you this grumpy?"  
  
Clarke rests her coffee cup on the table in front of her and turns her chair to Octavia.  
  
"I still don't know what to do for tomorrow's video. I just can't think about-"  
  
"Ooh, it's a good thing you mentioned that, because I found a really good channel, you should check it out."  
  
"Seriously? I'm dying here and you tell me to check another person's channel? Rude." Clarke jokes and Octavia slaps her leg weakly.  
  
"I'm just suggesting this because I think it would make you feel better! And who knows, maybe you'll have a great idea because of it! Plus, the girl is kinda hot, so that's a bonus."  
  
"Okay, you had me at she's kinda hot." Clarke turns her chair back to her computer and opens youtube.  
  
"Great, type in Lexa Woods."  
  
"Just her name? That's not that creative..." She mumbles, doing as told.  
  
"You're not in a good place to judge, huh, Clarke Griffin?"  
  
"You know I'm not creative with titles!"  
  
Clarke clicks on Lexa's channel and is speechless for a moment.  
  
"See? Told ya she's hot. Anyway, I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed cause I'm tired as fuck. See you in the morning." Octavia kisses Clarke's cheek and leaves the bedroom.  
  
Clarke clicks on the newest video, named "My neighbor and his loud girlfriend". The girl, who she assumes is called Lexa, has beautiful brown curls and she's wearing a green flannel shirt.  
  
_"First of all, I think I have to make it clear that I have absolutely nothing against my neighbor. He's this tall, muscular, tanned dude and I think he's pretty chill most of the time, we even hang out every once in a while. But when his girlfriend comes over, I swear to god! Apparently they don't have soundproof walls because I hear literally everything. I've never met the girl, but I can tell you that if I heard her voice at a grocery store, well, I wouldn't know it. If I heard her sex noises in the middle of a forest, however, I would be able to locate her position geographically in less than a minute. My point is, if you're gonna have sex this loudly at 4 am, please make sure you actually have soundproof walls. Dear neighbor, it's embarrassing that you, your girlfriend and I, have had at least twenty threesomes without my actual presence in there. Please, stop. I know you feel bad that I've been single for three years, but sadly, I'm not interested in you, or your girlfriend, or your sexual life."_  
  
Clarke finds herself giggling at the video. Lexa is definitely attractive. No, scratch that, she's gorgeous. Lexa is definitely gorgeous. Her voice is charming and she has beautiful eyes.  
  
She clicks on the next video, "Getting out of an abusive relationship". Followed by "Feminism for dummies", "Queer representation 101", "How to spot a fuckboy" and others.  
  
It's 3:49am when Clarke notices she's seen nearly every video on the girl's channel. She subscribes to her and closes her laptop. Once again, Octavia has proven she's always right.  
  
-  
  
On the following morning, Octavia teases the fuck out of Clarke.  
  
"So? Did you looove her?"  
  
"Well, I have to admit, O. You were right. Lexa is gorgeous and her videos are great."  
  
Clarke sits down in front of Octavia and bites her toast.  
  
"Did you like her enough to maybe be interested in meeting her?"  
  
"She seems like a fantastic person, so yeah, obviously. But you know, that's not gonna happen. With my luck, she probably lives in the other side of the country."  
  
"Actually..." Octavia mumbles, paying attention to her food.  
  
"Actually..?" Clarke encourages. "What were you gonna say?"  
  
Octavia giggles, playing with her waffle, and takes a sip of her orange juice.  
  
"O!" Clarke complains, nudging her friend's ribs.  
  
"Okay, okay, calm your tits. I was gonna tell you that Lexa is Lincoln's next door neighbor." Octavia calmly explains.  
  
Clarke chokes on her toast. "WHAT? Are you serious?"  
  
"I'm dead serious, Clarke. Did I ever lie to you?"  
  
"If you did, I never noticed."  
  
"Exactly. So now do you wanna meet her?"  
  
"I don't know, Octavia..." Clarke gets up and takes her empty plate to the sink.  
  
"Why the hell would you not know? You just told me you wanted to meet her and maybe even fuck her like, a minute ago!"  
  
"Octavia, I did not say that!"  
  
"Okay, maybe you didn't say all of those words, but you did say you wanted to meet her! Why are you suddenly not so sure anymore?"  
  
Clarke sits on the counter top and stares at her friend. Octavia stares right back.  
  
"So?"  
  
"You know why." She sighs.  
  
"Clarke-"  
  
"Can we not talk about this right now? Please? I was hoping you could be on my new video, I asked for questions on twitter and there's probably a lot of them and I thought you would enjoy answering some with me."  
  
Octavia stands up with a jump.  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"Yeah, why not?"  
  
"It's just that you never asked me to be on one of your videos before, you always ask Raven instead. I'm just surprised. Of course I want to."  
  
"Well, that's because Raven actually has a youtube channel, you just spend all of your free time with Lincoln and you never seemed interested anyway."  
  
"You forgot to mention that Raven also has her own tv show. And radio station! What can't that girl do? I don't even know how she still has a social life besides work!"  
  
"Yeah, Raven is amazing and she's our friend but don't discredit yourself! You're a fantastic athlete, okay? Just because you weren't recruited for the women's national soccer team yet, it doesn't mean you're not great at what you do! We're all good at different things, O."  
  
"Ugh, I know."  
  
"Now, are you gonna be on my video or not?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Good, I need you in my bedroom in fifteen minutes." Clarke hops off of the counter top and leaves the kitchen.  
  
-  
  
"Hello, sky people. I'm Clarke Griffin and this is my annoying roommate, Octavia Blake." The girls are sitting next to each other, facing the camera. Octavia smiles charmingly.  
  
"I know I usually post covers on Wednesdays, but as you might have noticed, I'm losing my voice, so I can't really sing today. Luckily, I thought I could make an ask video so you could get to know me better and I invited my roommate because... why not? Anyway, I asked you guys to send us questions using the tag #ClarkeRocksOctaviaSux and we're gonna answer some of them."  
  
Octavia scrolls through her phone. "The first one is, why is Octavia so hot?"  
  
"Okay, I'm sure that's not it, O."  
  
"Fine, the first one is, are you dating someone?" Octavia reads. "I am. Sorry, folks."  
  
"I'm single."  
  
"And ready to mingle! As you all know, Clarke here is bi, so whether you're a girl or a guy, send her pictures of yourselves to her twitter, people!"  
  
"Octavia! Do not send me any pictures, guys." Clarke complains, giggling. "Well, maybe pictures of pets would be appreciated, now that you mention it. But I'm not gonna date you, sorry to disappoint. What's the next one?"  
  
"Which instruments do you play?" Octavia turns to her friend.  
  
"I play the guitar and... well, the guitar. That's it. What about you?"  
  
"I think I'd be a good drummer. But no, I can't play any instruments."  
  
"You would make a good drummer!"  
  
"I know! Next question, what do you like to do on your free time?"  
  
"I love drawing and painting, I don't think you guys know that, but I actually have an arts degree."  
  
"Clarke here is a brilliant artist, guys."  
  
"Aw, thanks, O!"  
  
"You're welcome. Well, I love dancing, sometimes I cook..."  
  
"Octavia is also very good at being annoying, as I mentioned before."  
  
"Shut up, you love me. Next one, who's your celebrity crush/girlcrush/whatever?" Octavia says, laughing hysterically after she's done reading.  
  
"Why are you even laughing?"  
  
"I know who your crush is..." She teases. Clarke giggles and slaps Octavia's arm playfully.  
  
"Stop it, O!"  
  
"Fine, my crush is my boyfriend, Lincoln, obviously. But if I had to pick someone else..." She turns to Clarke. "Could it be Raven? She's kinda famous, right? I guess she's my platonic crush."  
  
"Yeah, you can pick the great Raven Reyes. But she's gonna get very cocky when she watches this..."  
  
"Shit, you're right. Well, it's too late now. Who's yours? Don't answer that, I'll answer for you. Clarke thinks Lexa Woods is gorgeous."  
  
Clarke blushes and hides her face between her hands.  
  
"Octavia!"  
  
"Aw, look at her, all flustered. I might as well take over this video, I'm already doing a better job than you, Clarke."  
  
They start laughing. "Stop humiliating me in front of the camera!"  
  
"I'm not humilitating you! I'm doing you a favor, you're gonna thank me for that someday."  
  
-  
  
**handsanitizer47:** Clarke Griffin's video brought me here and I'm just like, damn, she's right, Lexa Woods is fucking gorgeous.  
  
Lexa has the unhealthy habit of reading her video's comments every once in a while, which makes her unnecessarily angry, but sometimes, surprisingly happy. Right now, she's just curious.  
  
**bossassbitch69:** Yo, Clarke Griffin thinks you're gorgeous. You'd make a cute couple, I ship it! #Clexa  
  
She doesn't know what's happening, where these people came from or who this Clarke Griffin is but she's definitely intrigued.  
  
**OfficialCommander98:** omg who's this clarke you guys are talking about?  
**Cupcakewhore:** You really don't know? She's kinda popular, OfficialCommander98. She's one of Raven Reyes' best friends, I think she was on her show once or twice. That blonde girl who sings very well and posts some random shit all the time. Anyway, she just posted a Q &A on her channel, go check it out, apparently she has a crush on Lexa hehehe it's cute.  
**OfficialCommander98:** omg yeah, I've seen her on Raven's show before! Thanks, I'll go watch it now  
  
Lexa scrolls back up, deciding to find out who this girl is. She types Clarke's name on the search and clicks on her channel. "Q &A with Octavia" was uploaded three hours ago. She figures this must be the one her subscribers were talking about.  
  
One of the girls presents herself as Clarke and well, let's put it that way, she's breathtakingly pretty.  
  
She's blonde, her eyes are blue, she has this really cute chin and adorable nose- and frankly, Lexa thinks Clarke is so beautiful it makes her weak. The girl next to her, Octavia, is very attractive as well but she doesn't really catch Lexa's attention quite as much. She watches the video and finds herself enjoying it more than she presumed she would. These two are very charismatic.  
  
_"Next question, who's your celebrity crush/girlcrush/whatever?"_ The roommate asks, laughing desperately.  
  
Octavia teases Clarke about her "secret crush" and says her crush is her boyfriend, Lincoln.  
  
Wait a minute.  
  
She pauses the video.  
  
Lincoln?  
  
Lincoln??  
  
As in, her next door neighbor who has very loud sex with his girlfriend in the middle of the night?  
  
No.  
  
It can't be. It would be too much of a coincidence.  
  
She unpauses it.  
  
_"Who's yours? Don't answer that, I'll answer for you. Clarke thinks Lexa Woods is gorgeous."_ Octavia teases the girl. Clarke blushes and covers her face with her hands.  
  
Well... Clarke Griffin is not so bad herself. Lexa finishes the video, watches some more and subscribes to Clarke's channel.

About an hour later, she follows her on twitter as well. This is interesting.  
  
-  
  
"Holy shit!" Clarke yells, jumping from her spot on the couch. She startles Raven and Octavia, who are sitting next to her watching tv.  
  
"What the fuck, Clarke?" Raven mumbles, rubbing her right ear with a frown.  
  
"Lexa just followed me on twitter!" She grabs Raven's arm and shakes it excitedly. Octavia laughs, next to the other girl.  
  
"That's great!" Raven replies, smiling.  
  
"She wants the booty!" Octavia teases.  
  
"You know that means she watched your video, right?"  
  
"Oh my god. Please, no. She probably thinks I'm weird."  
  
"Clarke, don't be silly, Lexa doesn't think you're weird." Raven interrupts her friend.  
  
"What makes you say that?"  
  
"I mean, by now I'm sure she's certain that you are!" Octavia and Raven high five. Clarke pouts.  
  
"You two are the worst friends ever."  
  
"Aww, come here, you tiny puppy!" The girls wrap Clarke in an awkward hug. "We love you even though you're weird."  
  
"I love you guys too... even though you suck."  
  
-  
  
_" **@FlowerBitch86: @LexaWoods** did you know **@ClarkeGriffin** thinks you're gorgeous?"_  
  
_" **@LexaWoods: @FlowerBitch86 @ClarkeGriffin** Yes, and I think she's gorgeous as well."_  
  
_" **@FlowerBitch86: @LexaWoods @ClarkeGriffin** holy shit I can't!! I can't even!! I ship it!!! omg fml"_  
  
Apparently, some fans "ship" Lexa and Clarke. It's weird. She doesn't even know Clarke. They've never even talked to each other, yet people still think they should be together.  
  
The internet can be a very weird place. But Lexa doesn't really mind.  
  
She wishes she could meet Clarke someday. Maybe film something together. From what she's seen, the girl seems sweet, funny, talented and very smart.  
  
But Lexa doesn't really _know_ her.  
  
-  
  
"Clarke!" Octavia knocks uncontrollably on her bedroom door.  
  
"It's open!" Clarke yells back from her bed, she's been reading some random book for about an hour. Her friend is suddenly sitting on her computer chair.  
  
"Did you check your twitter?"  
  
"Uh, no. Why? Did something happen?" Clarke closes her book and finally looks at Octavia.  
  
"I don't know, Clarke." She mocks. "Let me read this to you and you tell me if it's something."

She scrolls through her phone and clears her throat.

"@FlowerBitch86: @LexaWoods did you know @ClarkeGriffin thinks you're gorgeous?"  
  
Clarke sits up on the bed.  
  
"@LexaWoods: @FlowerBitch86 @ClarkeGriffin Yes, and I think she's gorgeous as well." Octavia reads aloud. "Clarke! It's official, now you have to meet her!"

She shakes Clarke's shoulders excitedly.

The girl stares at Octavia, wide eyed.  
  
"People even ship you guys together! That's so cool, man!"  
  
"Oh my god." She shakes her head trying to get a grip of reality. "Maybe she meant it in a friendly way. Or maybe she was just being polite, that doesn't mean she's attracted to me."  
  
"Clarke! Don't be silly! Of course she's attracted to you, look at you! Please tell me you're gonna meet her tomorrow at Lincoln's party! I'm so happy for you right now!"  
  
Clarke takes a deep breath and smiles tiredly at Octavia.

"Okay. I'll do it."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lincoln's party turns out differently than expected. Lexa faces some of her demons while Raven and Clarke handle bad memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little more intense than the first one, but I hope you guys like it anyway.
> 
> TW: mention of abuse and violence

Clarke has been ready for about forty minutes now. She wanders across the room anxiously while waiting for Octavia to tell her she's finally ready to go.  
  
It's 8pm. They were supposed to get to the party at 7:30pm. Octavia always takes too damn long to get ready and Clarke isn't sure if she even wants to go anymore.  
  
"Come on, Octavia!" She yells from downstairs.  
  
"Almost ready!"  
  
Five more minutes of Clarke's nervous walking around the house and Octavia is finally ready.  
  
"Took you long enough!"  
  
"If you hadn't complained so much, maybe I would have been ready sooner!"  
  
Octavia grabs Clarke's wrist and walks her outside, closing the door behind them.  
  
They spend the drive in silence. But then Octavia parks her car and Clarke doesn't know what she's doing anymore.  
  
"I don't think I'm coming in."  
  
"What? What are you talking about, Clarke?"  
  
"I'm probably gonna puke when I see her, O. I don't wanna do this. I'm too nervous." She looks around nervously. "You know what? I think I forgot to take my meds. Can we go back? And maybe not leave the house again for fifty years? Please?" Clarke fidgets with her shirt's tissue, not once looking at Octavia.  
  
"Hey. Clarke. Look at me." She grabs her friend's hand. "You didn't forget to take your medication. You never do. You're okay. I'm gonna be with you the whole time, babe." Clarke glances at Octavia. "Here's what we're gonna do, we're gonna walk in there and we're gonna have a good time. You know who's there? Our friends. Lincoln is there, you like Lincoln, don't you?"  
  
Clarke nods.  
  
"Bellamy is there. You're one of his best friends and he loves you a lot. Raven is also there. That girl would kill for you and you know it. She's like a big sister, right?" Clarke nods again. Her hand is sweaty, she still doesn't want to get out. "Jasper and Monty are there. They're a lot of fun! I know that being a party, well, this might bring you and Raven some bad memories, but nobody is gonna judge you, Clarke. We all love you even when you're having a bad day."  
  
"Are you telling me the truth?" Clarke asks, her breathing still a little irregular.  
  
"I promise you I'm telling the truth. It's okay that you're nervous about meeting this cute girl, but everything is gonna be fine, I swear. And if Lexa turns out to be a dick, I'll handle her. You're not gonna be alone, okay? And if you start feeling bad, I promise I'll drive you back home."  
  
Clarke takes a deep breath and tightens her grip on Octavia's hand.  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"Ready."  
  
-  
  
Octavia kisses Lincoln and Clarke feels out of place.  
  
"Oh, is Lexa here yet? I think she should meet Clarke."  
  
Lincoln scratches his neck, not looking quite as happy as before.  
  
"Aw, babe, I'm sorry. Lexa is visiting her parents in Washington for the weekend. But she said she'd be back soon. Maybe next time."  
  
Clarke looks down and bites her bottom lip. Lincoln squeezes her shoulder gently.  
  
"It's alright, Clarke. There's gonna be tons of other opportunities for you girls to meet. And I'm sure she's gonna like you, what's there not to like? You're great! I can tell her about you when she gets back, if you want."  
  
"There's no need for that, but thank you, Lincoln."  
  
Octavia rubs Clarke's back. She's not alone.  
  
-  
  
An hour later, Lincoln and Octavia are making out in a corner. Bellamy is telling Monty and Jasper some really weird history facts while they play a random drinking game. There's other people hanging out in the house, but Clarke does her best to ignore them. She's dancing with Raven and for a moment, everything is okay.  
  
It feels good not to be alone.  
  
-  
  
_"Please, Raven, you have to come!" Clarke begs, almost getting on her knees._  
  
_"Why? Can't you call Octavia or something? I don't really feel like partying today." Raven complains, sitting on the kitchen counter top._  
  
_"O is busy with Bellamy! And nobody else is free! Come on, I promise we're gonna have fun!"_  
  
_"I don't know, Clarke. Can't we have fun here?"_  
  
_"Maybe you'll find a cute guy at the bar! Do you want to lose this amazing opportunity?"_  
  
_Raven frowns, deep in thought._  
  
_"I never ask you for anything, Raven. Please, do this for me just this once."_  
  
_"Ugh, okay!"_  
  
_Clarke hugs her friend tightly. "Thank you so much! You won't regret it!"_  
  
_"I hope not."_  
  
-  
  
Raven drives Clarke back home. She promised she'd sleep over, since Octavia didn't want to leave Lincoln's tonight.  
  
The radio station they're listening to decides this would be a good time to play the most heartbreaking songs ever written.  
  
"This is tragic." Raven mumbles, not taking her eyes off the streets ahead.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"How are you feeling, Clarke?"  
  
"I'm okay, I guess. I'm not that well, but I'm not devastated either, so I'm just gonna take that as a good thing. I had some bad flashbacks earlier today..."  
  
"Me too. My brain is trying really hard to force me to replay it over and over again." Raven shakes her head. "But I guess I could be worse."  
  
"We're starting to sound a lot like these songs."  
  
-  
  
_The club is just like any other. Crowded, noisy and full of drunk people making out on the corners. Eletronic music is playing as Clarke and Raven finally sit on the bar stools, a little sweaty and trying to catch their breaths._  
  
_"Two tequila shots, please!" Raven yells at the barman, her voice getting lost in the loud noise of the club._  
  
_There's a long haired guy sitting next to Raven, Clarke on the other side of her friend, still catching her breath._  
  
_"Hi!" The guy tries to make conversation._  
  
_"Hi!" Raven replies, noticing he was not that bad to look at._  
  
_"I'm Finn!"_  
  
_"Raven!"_  
  
-  
  
Clarke is woken up by knocks on her door.  
  
"Come on in."  
  
"Good morning, sleepyhead. I got you some peanut m &m's." Raven throws the package at her. "But don't eat them until you get real breakfast first, okay?"  
  
She kisses Clarke's forehead and walks back towards the door.  
  
"I gotta go, I'm late for work. Octavia will be here soon, okay? Text me if you need anything." She leaves the room.  
  
"Raven." Clarke calls. The girl opens the door again.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I love you, okay? Thanks for the m&m's."  
  
"Love you too and you're welcome. I'll be back later."  
  
-  
  
Lexa doesn't understand why she even tries. She hasn't spoken to her parents since she moved out, five years ago. It's not like they tried to get in touch with her anyway. It's never been a secret that they don't care about her.  
  
Still, this time she decided to try and now she just wishes she hadn't.  
  
Her father being sick doesn't change the fact that her family is despicable.  
  
Lexa remembers everything that happened before.  
  
How her mother would hit her whenever she did something she "wasn't supposed to do."  
  
How her father got so mad one time that he threatened to kill her. She thought he actually would.  
  
How they would make fun of the things Lexa liked, yell at her every time she disagreed with something they said.  
  
She remembers how her parents got her off her antidepressants back when she was fifteen, because they were "making her behave a certain way they didn't like".  
  
How they always made everything in their power to stop her from being happy.  
  
Lexa remembers everything.  
  
How her father told her to stop being a little bitch when she cried after Costia left her.  
  
How he beat her up until she just... stopped reacting.  
  
Right from the moment she walks into that house, her parents don't even seem slightly happy to see her. Her mother yells at her, calls her a failure, a disgrace.  
  
Ungrateful.  
  
A freak.  
  
She accuses Lexa of being responsible for her father's sickness. According to her, their daughter being such a disappointment is the reason why he got "weak enough" to get lung cancer.  
  
It's not like the fact that he smokes nearly five packs of cigarettes a day might have caused it or anything, right?  
  
Lexa gets inside the cab.  
  
Apparently, the driver is listening to Raven Reyes' lame radio station and her stupid advice show is on.  
  
_"You don't need this kind of people in your life. Walk away. It doesn't matter who they are, or who they should be. If someone treats you like that, they're not worth it. They don't love you the way you deserve to be loved. Just walk away."_  
  
What a weird coincidence.  
  
Okay, Raven is not nearly as bad as Lexa made her out to be.  
  
In this moment, she doesn't hate herself for leaving.  
  
Sometimes it's best to walk away, and this is one of those times.  
  
Lexa takes the first flight back to Los Angeles.  
  
-  
  
_"Can I buy you a drink? One shot of tequila doesn't do much nowadays. I can get you something else. Maybe I can get one for your friend as well if she's interested..." He all but screams on Raven's ear._  
  
_The girl looks at Clarke, silently asking her to give them some alone time._  
  
_"Actually, I was just going to the restroom. I'll be right back! You two have fun!" Clarke yells, standing up._  
  
_"Okay! We'll be here!"_  
  
_Clarke has a hard time finding the restroom, trying to push her way out of the crowd._  
  
-  
  
After saying goodbye for the millionth time, Octavia finally leaves Lincoln's house and walks towards her car. She stops before getting inside as she watches the scene before her play out.  
  
There's a girl holding a lot of luggage and she's visibly having a hard time trying to open her door.  
  
She has curly brown hair and Octavia thinks she's seen her before.  
  
Lexa?  
  
Octavia walks towards her.  
  
"Hi, do you need some help?"  
  
"No, thank you. I'm fine." The girl mumbles, not quite looking at Octavia, but one of the bags falls to the ground and she seems very embarrassed. "Actually, some help would be great."  
  
Octavia grabs the backpack from the floor and Lexa hands her a large suitcase.  
  
"I know it's none of my business, but why did you need so many bags? I thought you were just visiting your family for the weekend..."  
  
"I kind of got all of my belongings back from my parents' house. You know, the ones I had left behind when I moved here." She mumbles, then shakes her head. "Why am I telling you this?"  
  
Lexa finally manages to open the door, then proceeding to take her baggage back from Octavia.  
  
"Thank you." She looks at the other girl after carelessly throwing her bags inside. "Wait, do I know you?"  
  
"I'm Octavia. Lincoln's girlfriend. You must be Lexa."  
  
"Oh, right. I saw you on-"  
  
"Clarke's video? Yeah, I know. By the way, I bring good news for you! I convinced Lincoln to get some soundproof shit for the house. Sorry for ruining your sleep. I didn't know you could actually hear us."  
  
Lexa looks mortified, but tries to keep her cool.  
  
"Shit, you saw that? I didn't offend you or anything, right? Cause I can take the video down."  
  
"It's alright. I quite liked it, actually. I'm sorry about the unintentional threesomes, though." Octavia smirks.  
  
"No problem. I should have just told you guys about it in person, though..."  
  
"You could have. Surely, it would've made a lot more sense, but it's okay you didn't."  
  
Lexa doesn't say anything back.  
  
"Anyway, I almost forgot to tell you, we're having a party next Saturday to celebrate Raven's thirty million youtube subscribers. You should come." Octavia mumbles.  
  
"Thanks for inviting me, but I don't know if I'm-"  
  
"Come on, Lexa. It's gonna be fun! There's someone that I think you would love to meet."  
  
"Is it Clarke?" The curly haired girl asks, slightly blushing.  
  
"Yes, it's Clarke. She was here yesterday, you know? At Lincoln's party. I was gonna introduce you both but you were in Washington."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Yes, she was kinda sad when she heard you weren't coming."  
  
Lexa's cheeks redden again as she looks away from Octavia.  
  
"But what if we don't get along? That would be awkward."  
  
"Oh, stop it, Lexa. You called her gorgeous on twitter. She's into you. You're definitely going to get along quite well."  
  
Lexa blushes before looking down and taking a deep breath, shaking her head and putting her serious mask back on.  
  
"She doesn't know me, though." Her voice sounds almost sad. Almost.  
  
"And you don't know her. That's just how life works. You get to know people. I'm certain she would love to get to know you. But the question is, would you want that?"  
  
Lexa bites her bottom lip deep in thought. She twirls a braid around her finger for second before finally looking back at Octavia, emotionless again.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So? Are you coming or not?"  
  
Lexa sighs tiredly. "I'll be there."  
  
-  
  
_Clarke makes her way back to the bar, noticing Raven and the guy she was talking to are nowhere to be seen. She walks to the barman._  
  
_"Hey! Did you see that girl and the long haired dude who were here just now?"_  
  
_"Oh, yeah! They just left through the back, I think they went outside to take some fresh air or something."_  
  
_"Thank you." Clarke replies._  
  
_She knows there's a chance Raven might have left with Finn. But her friend would never just leave her like this without letting her know._  
  
_Something doesn't add up on her brain, so Clarke tries to get out of the club as quickly as possible, still looking for any sign of Raven._  
  
_She was right. With her heart beating faster than she's ever felt before, Clarke runs to the van parked in the alley._  
  
_Finn, if that's even his name, had just thrown Raven's uncounscious body inside and is now closing the door._  
  
_Clarke jumps on the guy's back, lunging at him. He turns around with the girl still holding on to him and forces his back against the van door violently. Clarke lets go and falls to the dirty ground._  
  
_Finn kicks her once. Twice. She can't breathe or react, so she stops counting._  
  
_The last thing she remembers is the guy opening the van door and then Raven's cold body against hers. After that, there's only darkness._  
  
-  
  
"O! I actually missed you this time. I thought you'd be back sooner." Clarke groans, walking towards her roommate.  
  
"You should sit down."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Octavia grabs Clarke's shoulders and forces her down on the couch.  
  
"Because I've got some great news!"  
  
"...okay, then. Tell me."  
  
"So, I was leaving Lincoln's house, right?"  
  
Clarke nods.  
  
"When I was about to get in my car, who did I see struggling to hold their baggage and open their door? Take a wild guess."  
  
"Was it...? No! Was it... No! Lexa? Was it Lexa or not? Oh my god, just tell me already!"  
  
"Yes, it was Lexa! And guess what? She's coming to Raven's party!" Octavia squeezes Clarke's shoulders excitedly.  
  
"Really?" She tries to sound indifferent. It doesn't work that well.  
  
"Yeah, I told her you'll be there."  
  
"Wait, you actually met her? So you're not just messing with me?"  
  
"Of course I'm not messing with you! We had an interesting conversation!"  
  
"How is she like?"  
  
"She's alright."  
  
"Just alright?" Clarke frowns.  
  
"Well, she got all flustered when I mentioned you, so there's that."  
  
"You're just teasing me."  
  
"No, I'm not! I swear! Lexa is great, Clarke. She looks tough, definitely intimidating, but I'm sure she's a sweetheart. She's very polite and, well, obviously gorgeous."  
  
Clarke covers her face with her hands and sighs.  
  
"How come you got to meet her first, though?"  
  
"Tough luck, buddy."  
  
Clarke pouts and Octavia hugs her tightly.  
  
"You're so cute when you do that!"  
  
"What are you talking about? I'm always cute!"  
  
-  
  
"Raven broke into my house an hour ago and asked me to be on her video, so of course I said yes."  
  
"I think she might be exaggerating a little bit..." Raven mumbles. "Anyway, as you might already know, I just got thirty million subscribers!" She celebrates.  
  
"And only fifteen million of them are different accounts I made for myself with the sole purpose of subscribing to Raven!"  
  
"And that's Clarke Griffin, ladies and gentlemen... And everyone else in between! Let's not exclude anyone!" Raven takes a sip of her drink.  
  
"We're drinking pure vodka because Raven thought it would make us look cool." Clarke says, looking at the camera.  
  
"Actually, we're drinking it because it makes me feel just like in high school. Hopeless, sick, disgusted, strangely horny and with a sense of accomplishment after I'm done."  
  
"Spoke like a true poet, sister!" Clarke and Raven high five. "She really shouldn't be drinking, though. Cause let me tell you something, this girl can't handle a lot of alcohol in her system before she starts dry humping me and asking me to marry her. Repeatedly. Eleven times, to be exact."  
  
"That only happened, like, once!"  
  
Clarke looks at the camera like she's on the office.  
  
"Anyway, we're gonna be playing never have I ever. I asked for suggestions on my twitter and our friend Octavia picked some for us." Raven ignores Clarke's groan. "You know how it works."  
  
"Before we start, let me just make it very clear that I specifically warned Raven it wouldn't be a good idea to get drunk in front of a camera. So if she does something mortifying, that's on her."  
  
"Alright, let's do this! The first one is: Never have I ever kissed a girl."  
  
Clarke takes a shot while Raven smirks.  
  
"Raven..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Remember that time you accidentally kissed me on third grade?"  
  
"Dammit, Clarke!" Raven takes a shot. "Never have I ever had sex with a girl."  
  
"I think Octavia was trying to fuck me up here, huh?" Clarke takes another shot and Raven grins. This is gonna be an interesting video.  
  
-  
  
"I heard you got a new crush, princess." Bellamy mentions, walking into the kitchen.  
  
Clarke puts her pancakes on the plate in front of her and sits down lazily.  
  
"Let me guess, Octavia told you that."  
  
"Damn right." Bellamy gets himself a cup of coffee. "Wanna tell me about that?"  
  
He sits down next to Clarke and steals a strip of bacon from her plate.  
  
"I mean, I don't really know her yet, so I think you guys are getting way too ahead of yourselves saying I have this gigantic crush on her."  
  
"Well, you're definitely attracted to her, right?"  
  
Clarke nods, taking a sip of her coffee.  
  
"Can you see yourself in a relationship with her?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"So why are you making this sound so complicated? Sure, you haven't met her yet, but you watched like, two hundred videos of her? You know a part of her personality, at least. You know some things that she likes and dislikes, so in a way, you do know her."  
  
"It's different, Bell. People don't tell the most personal details of their lives on youtube videos. In a way you're right, I do know some aspects about her as a person, but only parts that she specifically selected and, well, edited." Bellamy nods, understanding.  
  
Clarke takes another sip of her coffee. "Besides, I don't think she's gonna stick around after she gets to know me. I'm fucked up, Bell, let's be real. Nobody wants a broken toy."  
  
"You're wrong about this. Like you've said before, you don't know her yet! How can you be so sure that's gonna happen? And you are not a toy! You might be a little broken, but what you're failing to see is that everybody is! Every single person has their problems and their demons and, sure, some of them can be worse than others, but that doesn't mean anything!"  
  
"I know I probably sound very stupid right now. But I'm scared, okay? I like Lexa. I really do, even though we haven't met yet. I just think I'm gonna find a way to screw this up."  
  
She takes a sip of her now cold coffee.  
  
"There's no way you're gonna screw this up. You're going to meet her this week, right? Get to know her. You deserve someone in your life. I mean, how long has it been? Two years? I'm sorry to put it that way, but... you can't hide and isolate yourself forever. What happened that night was-"  
  
Clarke slams her mug on the table. "This is not about that night!" She takes a deep breath and looks down. "I know you guys are looking out for me, but not everything has to do with what happened two years ago, okay? What about Raven? Are you looking out for her too? Just because she's successful doesn't mean she's not still feeling awful."  
  
It's been a long time since they talked about the Finn thing, it's a sore topic. It took Clarke a long time to get over it, but every once in a while it all comes flashing back into her head. She still has nightmares about it sometimes. And she knows Raven does too.  
  
"She's my best friend, Bellamy." Clarke can't hold back her tears. "Sometimes I think she hates me for it. I may not have been responsible for what that monster did, but it's my fault Raven has to wear that brace!" She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. "Can you please get me my meds? I was trying to skip them today but-"  
  
Bellamy rises from his seat, fills a glass with water and takes Clarke's pills from the counter. He puts them in front of Clarke and sits down.  
  
"Please, don't do this again." He reprimands, disappointedly. "Raven doesn't hate you, Clarke. Believe me. She loves you just as much as you love her. Like you said, it's been two years. You might think she believes it was your fault but you know that's just your anxiety talking."  
  
Clarke nods weakly. "I know." She mumbles, after taking the pills and drinking the water.  
  
"I am looking out for Raven. I promise you, we all are. You're worried about her but she's worried about you. She asked me to talk to you, Clarke. Because she thinks you might let what happened in the past get in the way of what could happen between you and Lexa."  
  
"Why couldn't she tell me herself?"  
  
"You know why. The point is, you both have suffered enough. Okay? I know you still blame yourself sometimes, I know you have your bad days, but you do deserve happiness, Clarke."  
  
Bellamy pulls Clarke into a hug.  
  
"Octavia and I know it's hard for you, we do. And so does Raven. We're always gonna be here for you, princess, but you gotta stop feeling bad for yourself. You can't change the past, but you can let it go."  
  
Clarke takes a deep breath. "Thank you, Bellamy." She mumbles, her voice weak.  
  
"O told me Lexa is great and she seems to like you a lot. You have been giddier than ever since you started watching her videos. I'm not saying that getting to know her, being her friend or maybe dating her will solve your problems and make you happy forever, that's not how things work. But I'm saying it's a step towards the right direction. You deserve that."  
  
Clarke pulls away from Bellamy's embrace and looks at him, fear flashes quickly through her eyes before being replaced by conviction. "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably gonna update this fic every Monday and Wednesday (at least for now). I was gonna post this chapter earlier but my internet wasn't working, so sorry about that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, Lexa shows a little of her nerdy, dorky side and Clarke blushes a lot. Some interesting things happen...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a little more flashbacks (and so will the next ones until I'm done telling what happened "that night", so buckle up cause things get a little violent there). I didn't forget to add a lot of fluff, though, so enjoy it while you still can (jk or not really jk). 
> 
> tw: physical and verbal abuse

"Have you met your fairytale princess yet?"  
  
The sudden presence of another person in the room startles Lexa.  
  
"Fuck, Anya. You almost gave me a heart attack."  
  
Anya, who has blond hair - but it's clear she hasn't dyed it in a while - sits down on Lexa's bed comfortably, putting her legs up. She has dark eyes, prominent cheekbones and looks like she kills people for a living.  
  
"Did you?" She ignores Lexa's comments.  
  
"She's not a fairytale princess."  
  
"The way you talk about her makes it look like she might as well be one."  
  
Lexa shakes her head.  
  
"She's just... Clarke."  
  
Anya groans. "Ugh, you don't even know her yet and you're already gross."  
  
Lexa hits her friend's face with a pillow.  
  
-  
  
_When Clarke comes to, her body is sore, her ribs ache whenever she breathes and she can feel dried blood on her forehead._

 _The only thing she's sure of is that she has no idea where she is._  
  
_Then she remembers Raven and tries to move, only to realize she's tied to a chair._  
  
_Finn opens the door and walks inside, with a grin on his face. He gently lays a knife on the drawer._  
  
_"Hello, Clarke."_  
  
_"Where is she?" She grunts, visibly in pain._  
  
_"Oh, don't you worry about Raven, she's in the bedroom sleeping like an angel. I came here only to make sure you would behave because your friend and I have... business to discuss." His smile widens._  
  
_"Stay away from her, you sick bastard!"_  
  
_Finn wanders around the chair. "Don't be so negative, Clarke! Cheer up! It's only 2 am, we still have a long time ahead of us before sunrise!" He smirks, stopping in front of the girl. "We're gonna have so much fun!"_  
  
-  
  
"I asked you guys to send me questions on twitter... I'm just gonna go ahead and answer them now since I don't really feel like ranting about my life today." Lexa explains, looking directly at her camera.  
  
"Anya, who's behind my camera, as you all know, will read the questions she likes the most. And hopefully, she won't make me regret letting her choose!"  
  
"Why are you such a bitch?" Anya asks, pretending to read the words on her phone.  
  
"I thought I had made it clear that I learned from you, Anya. Now read the actual questions."  
  
"Ugh, okay, I'll read the boring ones."  
  
Lexa rolls her eyes.  
  
"Why did you decide to make a youtube channel?"  
  
"Well, some years ago I was going through some stuff and I just felt like it could be a distraction and maybe a way to help other people deal with their problems, so... yeah, I think that's why."  
  
"Do you have any hidden talents?"  
  
"I can tap dance! Also, I can play the drums and I used to be a track star in high school."  
  
"Don't flatter yourself, Lexa." Anya mumbles, making her friend smirk. "Do you have any pets?"  
  
"I have a cat and a dog. Nat and Clint."  
  
"You named them after some lame comic book characters, right? Care to explain that?" Anya teases.  
  
"They're not lame! Black Widow and Hawkeye are _definitely_ not lame! Natasha Romanoff could literally choke you to death just by using her thighs! I bet she could rip your femur out of your body in the blink of an eye and then Clint Barton could make an arrow out of it and shove it up your ass so deep you would never talk shit like that ever again!"  
  
"Holy shit! Did little Lexa just lose her cool because I insulted her nerdy superheroes?"  
  
"How dare you?"  
  
"Nerd!" Anya chants, clearly having fun.  
  
"At least I'm not afraid of hamsters! You are." Lexa replies, still annoyed. "Just ask the next question, Anya."  
  
"Alright, I just found the perfect one. So you and Clarke Griffin, huh?"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Don't play dumb, Lex. Your subscribers want to know, what's up between you and blondie?"  
  
Lexa hides her face between her hands and shakes her head shyly.  
  
"You guys!"  
  
She takes a deep breath and looks back at the camera.  
  
"There's nothing going on between Clarke and I, sorry to disappoint. But I'm possibly gonna meet her this weekend, so I'll let you know how that goes."  
  
"Why don't you and Clarke make a collab?"  
  
"I told you guys, we haven't met yet."  
  
"If Clarke Griffin admitted she has a crush on you, would you consider dating her?"  
  
Lexa blushes and tries to hide it, failing miserably.  
  
"As you can see by her disgusting reaction, Lexa would probably not only consider dating Clarke, but she'd _also_ like to start a family with her. Gross." Anya makes fun of Lexa.  
  
"Okay! Can we stop talking about Clarke for a minute? You're making me sound like a creep."  
  
"Now you wanna stop talking about her? That's weird." She mumbles, sarcasm dripping with her words.  
  
-  
  
_Clarke headbutts Finn, but his creepy smile only gets wider. He takes a step back before swinging a punch to the girl's cheek, right next to the bluish spot already growing there._  
  
_"Didn't your mother teach you manners?"_  
  
_"Didn't your mother teach you not to hit girls?" Clarke barks back._  
  
_He slaps her face, mad._  
  
_"Don't talk back at me!"_  
  
_Finn delivers a cross punch to Clarke's chin and she spits blood on the floor, tightly closing her eyes._  
  
_"I see you're a spitter. I've always liked girls who swallow better." He observes, before punching the girl in the stomach._  
  
-  
  
"Oh my god, Clarke!" Raven yells, slamming the door behind her.  
  
"Well, good afternoon to you too, Reyes." Clarke mumbles grumpily from the couch.  
  
Raven walks over to her friend and turns off the TV.  
  
"Hey! Why did you do that?" Clarke sits up.  
  
"You're gonna thank me for that. Did you watch Lexa's new video? Everyone's talking about it!" Raven sits next to her, carelessly.  
  
"Not yet. Why? Did something happen?"  
  
"Well, she did spend like, two minutes talking about you, so maybe I'd consider watching it, you know?"  
  
Clarke stands up quickly and takes her laptop from her bedroom, bringing it back to the living room in a flash.  
  
"Well, that was fast." Raven mumbles, reaching out for the chips on the coffee table.  
  
"Don't touch my chips, Raven."  
  
"Rude."  
  
Clarke finally clicks on Lexa's channel.  
  
It starts out as just a simple video with adorable facts about Lexa. Clarke finds it disturbingly cute how she named her pets after fictional characters.  
  
And damn, she's hot when she's angry.  
  
But then Anya starts asking her about Clarke and she needs to pause the video to learn how to breath properly again.  
  
Raven giggles as Clarke unpauses it.   
  
Lexa is blushing and hiding her face and it's so adorable Clarke wants to lay down and cry.  
  
When she mentions meeting her this weekend, Clarke's heart beats even faster than before. Lexa blushes once again, making Clarke want to hold her until she stops being so cute, which would be... probably never.  
  
Anya teases Lexa and suddenly Clarke is the one blushing.  
  
Raven smirks.  
  
-  
  
After thinking about it for fifteen minutes, Lexa finally sends the _dm_.  
  
_"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable by talking about you so much on my video. My friend was being a little shit. I hope I didn't creep you out."_  
  
She waits for five more minutes staring at the screen before closing the tab. Her phone vibrates a moment later, alerting her that Clarke has answered the message. She opens twitter again.  
  
_"You didn't. I thought it was kinda cute tbh"_  
  
Lexa feels her face getting hot. She types her answer.  
  
_"Are you coming to Raven's party later?"_  
  
Clarke replies quickly.  
  
_"Yeah, are you?"_  
  
_"I'm not sure. Your friend Octavia said I should go but I don't know Raven that well. Actually, I don't know her at all and I'm probably gonna be alone there."_  
  
She thinks about it for a minute before anxiously sending the message.  
  
_"I can keep you company if you want."_  
  
Lexa blushes and makes a weird screeching sound. Clint barks at her. She pets him with a dorky smile on her face.  
  
_"That would be great, but I wouldn't want to keep you from your friends."_ Lexa replies.  
  
_"I wouldn't offer if I didn't want to hang out with you. Besides, my friends will be too busy getting drunk."_  
  
Lexa feels her face redden one more time. It's kind of pathetic how easy it is for Clarke to make her feel like that.  
  
She gets distracted by her cat, Nat, as she climbs her leg and lies down on her lap, demanding attention.  
  
Clint is on the floor, chewing on Anya's favorite flip-flops. Lexa reminds herself to get him a treat as a thank you for the sweet revenge.  
  
She glances back at her computer and types her answer.  
  
_"Thank you, Clarke. That's very nice of you."_  
  
_"No problem, Lexa. So I guess we're gonna meet today, then?"_  
  
Lexa pets Nat with one hand, typing with the other.  
  
_"I guess so."_ She hits send.  
  
-  
  
_Finn kicks the chair down, making Clarke hit her head on the floor with a thud._  
  
_"I have to say, you're stronger than you look, huh? You take punches like a champion, seems to me that you were born for this." He states, lowering his body to get closer to the girl._  
  
_Finn presses a kiss to Clarke's bloody forehead before kicking her ribs._  
  
_"Why are you doing this?" She coughs out, more blood coming out of her mouth._  
  
_"It's fun."_  
  
-  
  
Clarke parks her car in front of Lincoln's porch, rolling down the window from Octavia's side. The tall guy is standing at the door.  
  
"Get in, loser, we're going shopping!" Octavia yells, getting his attention.  
  
Lincoln jogs towards the car, opens the door and gets on the backseat, reaching out to quickly kiss Octavia.  
  
"Hello to you too, Lincoln." Clarke complains jokingly, driving away from the house.  
  
"Hi, Clarke. You look great."  
  
"Oh, believe me, she knows that." Octavia replies. "I've been telling her that since we got into this car."  
  
"Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself."  
  
"Do I have to worry about you stealing my girlfriend, Griffin?" Lincoln jokes, making the girls laugh.  
  
Octavia turns up the music.  
  
So far, things have been going surprisingly okay.  
  
After twenty minutes, Clarke gets to Raven's fancy house and parks the car. The trio gets out quickly, making their way towards the door.  
  
"So, excited to meet your girl?" Octavia asks, with Lincoln's arm around her shoulders.  
  
"Don't tease her, O." Lincoln reprimands playfully.  
  
"Fine."  
  
Raven opens the door, quickly engulfing Clarke in a suffocating hug.  
  
"I'm glad you're here, babe!"  
  
Clarke smiles back at her friend.  
  
"And here is my favorite couple! Hi, guys! Come on in, everybody is having fun!" Raven addresses Lincoln and Octavia.  
  
They hug her before following her back into the house.  
  
Clarke looks around, it's not as crowded as she expected.  
  
"Hey, Clarke!" Monty greets, having already talked to the rest of the group.  
  
"Hi, Monty." She hugs him. "You look great."  
  
"Thanks, so do you." He smiles kindly. "Miller is looking for me, so I should go, but we'll talk later, alright?"  
  
"Sure, tell him I said hi."  
  
Monty nods and walks away.  
  
-  
  
"Holy shit, Clarke!" Raven yells, startling her friend, who jumps and covers her chest with her hand.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Look who's there!" She points at a girl, who's standing confusedly close to the door.  
  
Lexa.  
  
"Fuck. She looks fantastic." Clarke mumbles, not noticing Raven dragging her towards the girl.  
  
"Hi, Lexa. I'm glad you could make it." Raven says, stopping in front of her. Clarke just stares dreamily at the girl, frozen.  
  
"Hello, Raven. Congratulations on your success. I actually listened to one of your radio shows once and I have to say, it's not the worst thing I've ever heard. I don't know if I can say the same about your tv show, though, I never really watched it." She comments, making Raven laugh.  
  
"Thank you, your youtube channel is not that bad either."  
  
Lexa nods and glances at Clarke, who's still looking at her. Raven notices.  
  
"So, this is my friend Clarke Griffin. Clarke, this is Lexa Woods."  
  
The girls smile shyly at each other, not noticing as Raven walks away.  
  
"Hi, Clarke. It's nice to finally meet you." Lexa manages to say. Clarke awkwardly nods.  
  
"H-hi, Lexa. You look- you look beautiful." She stutters.  
  
The brunette blushes slightly, mumbling, "Not as beautiful as you."  
  
Clarke smiles, feeling her face redden.  
  
-  
  
"Look at those dorks." Raven comments, nudging Octavia.  
  
"I bet Clarke is about to pass out."  
  
"How long do you think it's gonna take for them to start making out in front of everyone?" Bellamy asks, interested in the conversation.  
  
"If Clarke gets drunk, maybe two hours, if not, maybe a year." Octavia replies, still dancing with Lincoln.  
  
Lexa and Clarke walk towards the bar.  
  
"Guys." Raven points at them quickly. "Shall we start the bets?"  
  
-  
  
_Finn presses the knife against Clarke's tied hands, with a smirk on his face._  
  
_"This is me giving you a chance to get away and save yourself while you still can. Just cut the ropes. The exit is the first door to your right. I'll be enjoying Raven's company. Nice to meet you, Clarke."_  
  
_He smiles and starts walking away, leaving Clarke on the floor, holding the knife._  
  
_"Oh, and don't do anything stupid. I have a gun in your friend's room." Finn warns, before closing the door behind him._  
  
-  
  
Clarke sits down next to Lexa.  
  
"So, what are you getting?" She asks.  
  
"Not alcohol, that's for sure. I'm driving."  
  
"Same."  
  
Clarke glances around the house, a lot more people had arrived since she got there. Sometimes she forgets how amazing parties would make her feel before- She tries to block her thoughts.  
  
It shouldn't be this hard to deal with what happened almost three years ago.  
  
It's like the memories never left her.  
  
They haunt Clarke everytime she lets her mind wander for too long.  
  
Fuck.  
  
Too late. She's thinking about it.  
  
Clarke hates it, the flashbacks give her nausea. She shakes her head lightly. It's not time to think about that.  
  
"Clarke, are you okay?" Lexa interrupts her thoughts.  
  
"Yeah." She mumbles, taking a deep breath. Lexa doesn't seem to believe her. "Actually, can we go outside for a moment? I need some fresh air."  
  
The girl stands up and offers Clarke her hand. She takes it and they struggle to get to the back door with so many people standing on the way.  
  
Eventually, they manage to get outside.  
  
There's no one there. Maybe that's because Raven's house is so fucking huge people don't even know how to get out of it without getting lost on the way.  
  
Clarke breathes out in relief and walks with Lexa towards the grass. She drops her hand and sits down. Lexa sits next to her and looks at the stars above their heads.  
  
"It's beautiful out here."  
  
"Yeah, Raven has a beautiful garden."  
  
They can still hear the loud muffled music coming from inside the house, but it's a lot more relaxing not being surrounded by hundreds of people.  
  
"I'm glad you're here." Clarke mumbles.  
  
"Me too." Lexa glances at her. "I was very nervous about meeting you."  
  
"Really?" Clarke looks back at the other girl, smiling shyly. "I thought I was the only one."  
  
"Well, it's not everyday I get to meet someone like you." She replies, picking at the grass with her fingers.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I don't know, you're just... you."  
  
"Is that supposed to be a good thing?" Clarke questions, looking at the extravagant flowers Raven mantains in her backyard.  
  
"Obviously." Lexa glances at her. "Were you really okay back there?"  
  
She doesn't say anything.  
  
"It's alright if you don't want to talk about it, Clarke. Just let me know if I can do anything to make it easier for you." Lexa lies down, gazing at the sky.  
  
Clarke turns to her. "Are you usually this nice or are you just trying to impress me?"  
  
She shrugs, "Both."  
  
They spend some minutes in silence, Lexa looking at the stars and Clarke keeping her head down, ruining the grass with her anxious hands.  
  
"The crowd, the loud music, all of those drunk people... Everything made me feel... uneasy. Brought back some bad memories."  
  
"I see." Lexa replies.  
  
Clarke lies down next to her, sighing.  
  
"It's a long story and I don't really wanna talk about it. Not yet, at least." She confesses.  
  
Lexa glances at Clarke. "I understand."  
  
"Thank you." She smiles for a moment, turning to look at Lexa. She ends up getting a little distracted by her eyes.  
  
"What? Is there something on my face?"  
  
"No. No, It's- I just- your- your eyes. You have very pretty eyes." Clarke stutters, looking away embarrassedly.  
  
Lexa tries to hide her smile as she looks at the starred sky above them.  
  
"Thank you, Clarke. Your eyes are very pretty as well, they remind me of the sky."  
  
Clarke grins, "Stop complimenting me, I'll get cocky." She rests her right arm on the grass, between her and Lexa, still using her left as a support for her head.  
  
"I think Hawkeye and Black Widow are highly underrated. They're as important as any other Avenger and everyone should see that." Clarke mentions, trying to sound casual.  
  
Lexa turns her head quickly to look at the other girl, with a big smile on her face.  
  
"Do you really think so?"  
  
"Hell yeah. I mean, I don't know much about comic books, but I checked them out since you like them so much... I wanted to have something to talk to you about." Clarke mumbles. "That sounds stupid, sorry." She shakes her head in embarrassment.  
  
Lexa grabs her hand, grinning. "No, it doesn't. That's very sweet of you, Clarke. To be fair, I looked up some things about art to try and impress you as well."  
  
"You did?" Clarke feels her cheeks getting hot. "I think we're even, then." She squeezes Lexa's hand lightly. "What did you learn?"  
  
"Salvador Dalí hid dicks in most of his paintings. But you probably already knew that."  
  
She laughs heartily, bumping her head on Lexa's shoulder. "I did. Did you know that when Mona Lisa was stolen in 1911, Pablo Picasso was one of the suspects? The police even questioned him, but there was no evidence against him, so they let him go."  
  
"I did not know that!" Lexa smirks. "Wow, who knew, art can be interesting. Have you seen that weird painting of a nun harvesting penises from a tree?"  
  
"Oh my god, I have." Clarke giggles. "Medieval paintings are the funniest shit."  
  
Lexa gently caresses the back of Clarke's hand with her thumb.  
  
Trying not to think too much into it, Clarke gives Lexa's hand a light squeeze.  
  
She reminds herself to thank Octavia and Raven later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr as commander-griffins


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has an idea that could potentially help her and Raven overcome the traumatic events that happened "that night", but Raven finds herself having a hard time accepting the suggestion. Meanwhile, Lexa gets frustrated at her slow wifi and the little shits that her pets are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of Raven and Clarke being cute best friends in this chapter but there's not a whole lot of Lexa, but don't worry, the next one is gonna be filled with her being a dork and Clexa cuteness.
> 
> TW: rape mention

Clarke was actually happy. Things had been going great with Lexa. They had spent a long time outside lying on the grass, talking about the most random things they could think of.  
  
But when they get back in the house,  they find that the only ones still inside besides Raven are Lincoln, Octavia, Bellamy, Monty, Jasper, Monroe, Harper and Miller.  
  
Apparently, Clarke hadn't been the only one feeling sick because of memories. Raven kicked everybody out two hours after the party started. Well, almost everybody.  
  
Raven hugs Clarke for almost five minutes and Lexa is more than a little confused.  
  
Later, Clarke drags her to a corner and explains that Raven is feeling bad for the same reason she was before. She doesn't go into details, but hopes Lexa can understand.  
  
And she does.  
  
Monty, Jasper, Monroe, Miller and Harper say their goodbyes a while later.  
  
After about half an hour, Octavia and Lincoln leave with Bellamy. At first, he didn't want to go, worried about Raven, but Clarke made sure she would be staying over and that she'd be the strong one this time.  
  
"Go take a shower, Raven. I'm gonna say goodbye to Lexa and I'll be right back, okay?"  
  
Raven nods. "Bye, Lexa. I'm sorry about this."  
  
"There's no reason to apologize-" Lexa replies, but Raven is already gone.  
  
Clarke grabs Lexa's hand and walks her back to the door.  
  
"Today has been hard for her. It's a long story, but maybe one day I can tell you." She mumbles tiredly.  
  
"It's okay, Clarke. I understand." Lexa rubs her thumb on Clarke's hand lightly. "Are you going to be alright?"  
  
"Yeah. I have to be the strong one for once, shouldn't be too hard."  
  
They stop at the door and Lexa turns to Clarke.  
  
"You have my number, right?" She nods. "Call me if you need anything."  
  
Clarke smiles weakly. "You know, all things considered, I still had a nice day because of you."  
  
Lexa smiles back.  
  
"Text me when you get home safe?"  
  
"I will. Goodnight, Clarke." She drops Clarke's hands.  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
Lexa steps away and starts walking towards her car.  
  
"Lexa", Clarke calls, making her way to the other girl, who looks at her expectantly.  
  
Lexa is caught off guard by a tight hug. She's tense at first, but relaxes on Clarke's arms, resting her head on her shoulder.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
-  
  
_Clarke tries to cut the ropes as fast as she can. Maybe, if she's fast enough, she can save Raven._  
  
_She might have a chance to save her friend and to get the hell out of wherever the fuck they were and she'd never ask Raven to do something she didn't want ever again._  
  
_The pain in her ribs makes it even harder for her to complete the task at hand. Her legs are also tied up, so this would most definitely take a long time. If she manages to stay awake, that is._  
  
_A drop of something slides down her cheek. Clarke rubs it against her shoulder, then forcing her face at a weird angle to try to look at it, expecting to see blood._  
  
_It wasn't._  
  
_She had been crying the whole time without even noticing._  
  
-  
  
"Can I come in?" Clarke knocks on the door.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Raven is lying down on her bed, wearing her flannel pants and a plain white shirt, her brace thrown carelessly on the ground. The blonde walks inside the room.  
  
"How are you feeling?" She asks, kicking off her shoes.  
  
"To be honest, I just feel weird."  
  
"What do you mean?" Clarke steps out of her jeans, grabbing some shorts from the drawer.  
  
Raven closes her eyes tiredly and sighs.  
  
"I don't know. One second I'm completely fine. A flashback later, I'm kicking everyone out."  
  
After changing, Clarke approaches the bed.  
  
"We're gonna get through this, okay?" She sits next to her friend. "I will find a way to make that happen."  
  
"I'm sorry, I know I'm usually the one to reassure you that we're gonna be fine, but I'm just tired today, you know?"  
  
"It's okay, Raven. Want me to _platonically_ spoon you?"  
  
"Oh, thank god you made it clear it's platonic, or else I'd think you wanted to fuck me." Raven mocks. "Just get in here already."  
  
Clarke giggles and proceeds to lie down next to her friend. "I just don't want you thinking you have a chance with me, I know I'm irresistible, but I'm currently interested in someone else." She teases.  
  
Raven hits Clarke's face with a pillow. "First, ouch, there's no need to break my heart like this. Second, do tell! What did you and Lexa do, huh? I saw you leaving through the back door earlier..." She raises her left eyebrow suggestively.  
  
"You're impossible! We just talked. I was kinda bad because of... the same thing as you, so I asked her to go outside with me and we ended up spending the entire party out there."  
  
Clarke turns to her side so that she's facing Raven, who nudges her teasingly.  
  
"Come on, Griffin, I know you want to talk about how amazing and gorgeous she is, just spill it already!"  
  
"Okay, okay!" Clarke sighs, closing her eyes for a moment before rambling on and on. "Lexa is adorable! She was always so considerate and... cute and... she researched some silly things about art just to try to impress me and... oh my god, we held hands and I think I'm gonna die!"  
  
Raven stares at her.  
  
"Okay, that's all."  
  
"Wow, Clarke. You sound like a fangirl." She smirks. "You must like this chick a lot."  
  
A buzz coming from a phone on top of the wardrobe interrupts them. Clarke jumps out of the bed and grabs it, before making her way back.  
  
"What is it?" Raven asks, curious. Her friend smiles, still looking at the screen after minutes. "Let me see it!" She pulls the phone away from Clarke and checks it.  
  
**Lexa:** _I'm home. I had a great time with you today, maybe we can hang out again some other time... if you want to, of course. I hope Raven is feeling better, show her that painting of the dick tree and the nun, perhaps it will make her laugh. Goodnight, Clarke._  
  
"What painting?" Raven questions, giving the phone back.  
  
"This medieval painting of a nun harvesting dicks from a tree, let me just-" She types something, then showing her friend the screen and there it is, the dick tree and the nun, as Clarke likes to call it.  
  
Raven laughs, "Is this real?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"When _this person_ paints something like this, it's art. When _I_ draw a penis with beautiful feathered wings, flying through the forest, I'm suddenly accused of being a perv and a disgrace to my family? Double standards, man..."  
  
"Double standards." Clarke replies, before typing a response to Lexa's text.  
  
**Clarke:** _Of course I wanna hang out with you again :) I'll call you tomorrow. She is, I just showed it to her and you were absolutely right. Goodnight, Lexa._  
  
Clarke puts her phone back on top of the wardrobe and climbs back on the bed, spooning Raven, who looks like she's not done talking.  
  
"Just so you know, I approve of it." She mumbles, out of nowhere. Clarke frowns in confusion.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"You and Lexa, what else?"  
  
"Thank you, _mom_." Clarke mocks.  
  
"What can I say, I like seeing my daughter happy." Raven laughs lightly.  
  
"Goodnight, Raven." She groans.  
  
-  
  
_Raven opens her eyes slowly, taking a second before she notices the amount of pain she's in. She doesn't recognize this room. Her head hurts more than she's ever felt before. And that's not the only part of her body aching._  
  
_Why does she feel so cold?_  
  
_It takes her less than a minute to realize she doesn't have any clothes on._  
  
_A voice startles her._  
  
_"Damn, Raven! The pills weren't supposed to wear off so soon! I was hoping we would still have tons of fun!"_  
  
_Raven moves her head, trying to locate the person speaking._  
  
_It's Finn._  
  
_"Well, that's just too bad." He adds._  
  
_Her brain drowns on memories from the last hours before she passed out._  
  
_No._  
  
_No._  
  
_This couldn't be happening._  
  
-  
  
"Are you cooking for me?" Raven asks, incredulous, as she walks into the kitchen to see Clarke busy with breakfast. "What did I do to deserve this beautiful act of kindness, princess?"  
  
"I'm offended you don't think I'm nice enough to cook for you without second intentions." She replies, putting a plate in front of Raven, who starts desperately taking everything possible from the table. "You know, I already had breakfast, I'm not gonna take your food from you, slow down."  
  
"I'm hungry, Griffin, give me a break." Raven mumbles, filling her mug with coffee.  
  
"Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Sure, why do you ask?"  
  
"Because I care about you...?"  
  
Raven drops her fork on the plate and stares at Clarke. "Okay, spill it. I know you're hiding something from me."  
  
"Of course not-"  
  
"Clarke Griffin, I swear to god if you don't tell me right this second-"  
  
"Okay, okay. I do have something to tell you." She gives in, rolling her eyes.  
  
"I'm waiting. And I don't want my food to get cold, so I suggest you start speaking already."  
  
"I kind of had an idea that could, you know, help us. With our flashbacks and stupid bad days and just getting over that night in general." Clarke mentions, fidgeting with the table cloth.  
  
"And why is that a bad thing?"  
  
"It's not a bad thing. Not to me. But I don't think you're gonna like my idea."  
  
Raven takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "Just say it, Clarke."  
  
"I found a support group. For abuse victims in general... including victims of sexual abuse... like rape." Her voice gets lower as she nears the end of the sentence.  
  
"No, thanks." Raven gets back to eating.  
  
Clarke gives her a painful look. "I know you don't like sharing, Raven. But we need this. We've tried therapy before but you hated it, so we stopped. But I'm asking you that we try something different! We can't get over something if we never talk about it! It's just gonna keep haunting us! Maybe it'll keep haunting us even after we get over it, but things could get potentially better if we try this."  
  
Raven pretends not to listen and keeps looking at her plate.  
  
"Please." She starts getting teary eyed. "Don't you know this is hard for me too? I may be a little more open to talking, Raven, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared. I don't know what to do! I still blame myself for what happened to your leg, you know that. I still haven't forgiven myself even though I know I had no control over the situation. I still don't know what to do."  
  
Silence.  
  
"You're not alone, Raven. We've been through most of this shit together."  
  
Clarke's voice starts cracking as she tries to contain her tears.  
  
"I may not be physically disabled now but I'm mentally ill. I'm doing the best I can, okay? Please, tell me you'll go to at least two meetings before making up your mind about this. I can't do this without you. And I'm not going to just give up on you."  
  
She rests her elbows on the table and runs her fingers through her hair, supporting her head with her hands.  
  
Raven finishes her meal quietly and stands up.  
  
"Okay." She mumbles, before walking away.  
  
-  
  
Lexa is lying down on her bed, frustrated, waiting for her internet connection to stop fucking her up so that she can upload her newest video, when her cellphone starts ringing.  
  
She quickly sees Clarke's name and answers it.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
_"Hey, Lexa. It's Clarke Griffin."_  
  
"How are you, Clarke?" Lexa moves around on her bed, lying on her stomach.  
  
_"I'm great, thanks for asking."_  
  
"Are you, though? You sound a little unsure..."  
  
She hears a deep sigh coming from the other side of the line.  
  
_"Sorry, I really didn't want to bother you with my issues, that's not why I'm calling you."_  
  
"Well, then, what can I do for you?"  
  
_"Actually, I'm calling just because I told you I was gonna call you today. I don't really have a reason to. Sorry, this sounds stupid."_ Lexa can mentally see Clarke shaking her head and closing her eyes.  
  
"Stop apologizing, it's okay. I'm glad you called. Are you still at Raven's? How is she?"  
  
Clint climbs on Lexa's bed and lies down on her back. Great, now she can't move again for the next hundred years.  
  
_"I just got home. She's... better. Bellamy and the boys were coming over and I'm kinda not in the mood to deal with them today, so I left. Turns out Octavia is still hanging out with Lincoln until tomorrow, so I'm just alone and hungry."_  
  
"You could come over if you want to..." Lexa says, before stopping herself. "I mean, I know we just met yesterday... Ugh, sorry if I'm overstepping some boundaries here, it's okay if you... don't want to. Or whatever."  
  
She drops her face on her pillow, feeling the urge to groan like Tina Belcher for the next five minutes.  
  
_"Would that be okay for you? I wouldn't wanna be a bother, you must be busy with your friends-"_  
  
"If by friends you mean Clint and Nat, sure, but they can't exactly talk back. My roommate is out of town for the weekend, so I don't have any plans. Of course you wouldn't be a bother, Clarke, and I wouldn't suggest something if I wasn't okay with it."  
  
She thinks about turning to lie on her back again but remembers Clint. Fuck. _The pain she goes through to keep her pets comfortable..._  
  
_"Are you sure?"_ Clarke questions.  
  
"If you really need my reassurance in this, then yes, I am sure. I would be happy to spend some time with you in my humble little apartment."  
  
_"Well, since you're saying so... I'll be there, just give me a few minutes to get ready."_  
  
"I'll text you the address."  
  
_"Okay, we'll see each other in about half an hour..."_  
  
"I guess so. Stay warm, okay? It's cold as fuck and I would hate for you to get sick."  
  
Clarke giggles.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
_"You're cute when you care about my well-being."_  
  
Lexa feels her face getting hot. She gets startled by a loud noise.  
  
"Fuck!"  
  
_"What was that?"_  
  
Looking around, she sees Nat on the table, looking smug and proud of herself. Pieces of glass cover the floor, a cup shattered on the carpet. Clint starts barking.  
  
"Dammit, Natasha!"  
  
-  
  
After cleaning the living room for almost fifteen minutes, Lexa is finally sure that there are no more pieces of glass left.  
  
"Are you happy now? Are you happy that I had to go through all of this shit to make sure your smug ass and your little bro over there don't accidentally eat glass? Answer me, Natalia Alianovna Romanova!"  
  
The cat just meows, looking vaguely annoyed. Lexa sighs. "Please behave tonight, alright? Don't embarrass me in front of Clarke." She pets Nat.  
  
The doorbell rings and Clint starts barking.  
  
"Easy there, Barton." She walks towards the door, looking around to make sure everything is organized and decent enough.  
  
Lexa grabs her keys and opens the door. Clarke's blue eyes and bright smile make her knees go weak.  
  
"Hi."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa spend some time together. Clarke worries too much, Lexa is a cute understanding cupcake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly a very relaxing chapter (there's only one little flashback), it's basically just clexa being cute and a little weird.

_"Hi."_  
  
"Hey, Clarke. Come on in." Lexa replies, making room for the other girl to get inside the house.  
  
"Nice place."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
As Lexa locks the door again, Clarke starts wandering around.  
   
"So I take it you're Clint, right?"  
  
Lexa turns to see Clarke kneeling on the floor, petting her dog as he pants heavily and shakes his tail.  
  
This girl is gonna be the death of her.  
  
"He likes you." She kneels down next to Clarke.  
  
"Does he?"  
  
"Of course he does." She pets Clint for a minute before getting back on her feet. "Come on, let me show you the little beast responsible for all of my broken glasses."  
  
-  
  
"No way!"  
  
"What?" Clarke is sitting on the couch, with her legs stretched over it. Nat is currently lying on her lap.  
  
"How did you do that?" Lexa carefully lifts Clarke's legs and sits down, putting her legs back on her lap. "It took me months to get Nat to actually trust me like that!"  
  
"I guess I have a gift. It's not a big deal, really. I mean, I could teach you to be as good with animals as I am, but I don't really think you were born for this, so..." Clarke teases, glancing at Lexa.  
  
"What happened to nice little Clarke from last night?"  
  
"She made a good impression. Now she can embrace her true self, which is kind of an asshole."  
  
Lexa giggles and Clarke swears it's the best sound she's ever heard.  
  
"I like kind-of-an-asshole Clarke."  
  
"I like you." Clarke blurts out. She starts blushing and looks away quickly, petting Nat.  
  
The doorbell rings, making the blonde girl jump to her feet as she gently grabs the cat and hands it to Lexa. "Pizza is here! I'll go get it!" She runs towards the door.  
  
"I thought I was gonna pay?" Lexa replies, her voice not quite reaching out to Clarke, who comes back a minute later holding the pizza box, with a grin on her face.  
  
-  
  
They eat in silence for a few minutes, the television being the only source of sound apart from Clint and Nat scratching the living room door, trying to come in.  
  
"I like you too." Lexa mumbles, "In case you haven't noticed."  
  
Clarke blushes as she tries to hide the smile on her face.  
  
-  
  
**TheRavenReyes:** so that's why you didn't wanna hang out today, huh? Clarke, you sexy beast! You guys look cute btw  
  
Clarke had just posted a picture of her and Lexa on instagram, and she honestly doesn't know how she didn't see that one coming. Of course Raven would find a way to tease her publicly.  
  
"I just got like, three hundred mentions on twitter. All about you." Lexa says jokingly, still looking at her phone.  
  
They're sitting lazily on the couch, Lexa's legs on Clarke's lap, both distracted by their cellphones.  
  
"Sorry about that."  
  
"It's alright, Clarke, really. I mean, can we blame them? We do look great together... I guess."  
  
"Everyone would be so jealous if we were really together, though."  
  
"I bet they'd be like, how did Lexa Woods get a girl quite like Clarke Griffin?"  
  
At this, Clarke glances at her. "Come on, seriously? I'm sure it'd be quite the opposite."  
  
Lexa puts her phone on the coffee table and takes her legs off of the other girl's lap, changing her position so that she's sitting closer to Clarke, still facing her. "What do you mean?"  
  
She sighs and shakes her head. "Come on, Lexa. We both know that if we _were_ dating, I'd be the lucky one here."  
  
Lexa blushes, giggling. "I have to kindly disagree with you, Clarke. You're basically my dream girl." Her eyes widen as she realizes what she says, looking down quickly. "Fuck-"  
  
Clarke feels her face redden. "Did you mean that?" She smiles shyly, raising Lexa's chin with her hand.  
  
"Clarke, don't make me say it." Lexa tries to avoid Clarke's eyes.  
  
"You don't have to, I was just teasing you. Can't we both be the lucky ones, then?"  
  
Lexa nods, with a light simle on her face.  
  
"I'm glad we can agree on that." Clarke sighs deeply, starting to stand up. "I should go, it's getting late."  
  
Lexa follows her up. "Can you just- wait a minute, please? I just-" She rubs her neck awkwardly. "Can I say- Can I say something before you go?"  
  
"Do I make you nervous?" Clarke grabs Lexa's hand, smirking.  
  
"Yes. A lot. Ugh, Clarke, you have no idea."  
  
"You make me nervous too."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really."  
  
Lexa takes a step closer. "Well, you're very good at hiding how you feel, then."

"Not quite, actually." Clarke glances at Lexa's lips quickly before looking back at her eyes. "But I guess you could say I have my moments."

Lexa smiles shyly at Clarke, before letting her eyes wander to the girl's mouth, "I guess." Slowly, she starts leaning in, Clarke doing the same. 

A loud clatter interrupts them, making Clarke bump her forehead on Lexa's.  
  
"Ouch! What was that?" She massages the area of impact.  
  
Lexa glances around the living room, spotting Nat, who's staring at them, with her usual smug face. The cat is sitting on top of a huge cabinet, everything that was on her way is now on the floor.  
  
"Dammit, Natasha!" Lexa groans, making Clarke giggle.  
  
"I guess you have a lot of cleaning up to do now."  
  
Lexa turns to the other girl once again. "That cat is gonna kill me."  
  
"Aw, don't be such a baby, she's lovely."  
  
"Can't you just stay for a while longer so you can distract her smug ass as I clean that mess?" Lexa pouts.  
  
"Oh, so that's all I am for you? A distraction for your crazy cat? I'm offended." Clarke jokes, resting a hand on her chest. Lexa laughs.  
  
"Did you drive here?"  
  
"No, I left my car at the mechanic earlier today, that trash can has been acting weird for a while now, it's really a surprise how I managed to drive to Raven's party on it. Anyway, I took the train. I was hoping I didn't leave late cause I don't particularly like walking alone at night."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I'll drive you home. Just let me take my jacket, okay?" She walks to her bedroom before Clarke can say anything.  
  
"You don't have to, Lexa. It's okay."  
  
"I'm driving you home, Clarke. End of discussion." She approaches Clarke again, now wearing a leather jacket over her shirt. "I just want to make sure you're safe, okay?" Her voice softens.  
  
"Thank you." Clarke smiles weakly.  
  
Lexa opens the door and takes her hand.  
  
-  
  
Most of the drive is quiet, with Clarke glancing shyly at Lexa every once in a while.  
  
"You never got to say what you were going to..." Clarke observes.  
  
"When?" She sounds confused, still looking forward.  
  
"Before we left. You asked me to- to wait because you had something to tell me. You never did." She blushes, remembering their almost kiss. If Clarke turned to Lexa, she would see the girl's face redden as well.  
  
"Oh. That. I was just gonna-" She parks her car in front of the large building where Clarke lives, turning off the ignition and finally looking at her companion. "I was going to tell you that you look lovely and I think you're-" Lexa shakes her head. "I mean-"  
  
Clarke grabs her hand quickly, making her stop talking. "It's okay, Lexa. Really. I understand if you don't like me that way and I don't blame you for that. You don't have to compliment me just to make me feel better. It's okay if you want us to be just friends." She drops Lexa's hand and looks away.  
  
"No- Clarke. That's not what I meant. That's literally not- not what I meant. At all." The curly haired girl squirms on her seat, visibly frustrated.  
  
Clarke turns to look at Lexa once more, a little out of breath. "So you do-"  
  
"Yes!" She interrupts.  
  
"You like-"  
  
"You!"  
  
"And I-"  
  
"Do you-?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"In that way?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yep."  
  
Clarke and Lexa smile at each other, the former quietly taking the latter's hand on her own.  
  
"Stop making out with Lexa and come inside, young lady!" Someone yells from outside.  
  
_What?_  
  
Clarke looks around and finds Raven staring at them through one of the apartment's window.  
  
"What the hell are you doing in my place, Reyes?" She yells back, opening the car window.  
  
"We're having a sleepover! Hurry, I've got some great news! Oh, and hi, Lexa!"  
  
"Hello, Raven!" Lexa replies, not paying much attention to the girl, who gets back inside and closes the window.  
  
Clarke turns to look at Lexa once again, sighing. "Sorry about that. I didn't know she'd come over."  
  
"It's alright, Clarke. I'm glad you won't have to be alone tonight." She smiles.  
  
"You're amazing, did you know that?"  
  
"Thank you, so are you."  
  
Clarke leans in to gently kiss the other girl on the cheek. "Goodnight, Lexa."  
  
"Goodnight, Clarke."  
  
She exits the vehicle, shutting the door and looking through the window.  
  
"Text me when you get home safe, okay?"  
  
Lexa nods and turns on the ignition.  
  
Clarke smiles, watching the girl drive away. This day turned out better than she imagined.  
  
-  
  
Lexa lies down on her couch tiredly. After getting Clarke home and cleaning all that mess Nat caused, she can finally rest for a moment. She has her arm dropped over her eyes, blocking the light from her face.  
  
-  
  
She wakes up with Clint licking her hand. Her arm is painfully stretched in the air, forcing her elbow joint in the wrong way. Groaning, Lexa sits up and tries to force her eyes open, looking at the clock on the wall.  
  
2:38 a.m.  
  
"Fuck." She moans, walking towards her bedroom.  
  
A tiny light source catches her attention. Her phone. Picking it up, Lexa finds seven texts and three missed calls. All from Clarke.  
  
**Clarke (10:17 PM):** Hey, are you home yet? You didn't text me so I got kinda worried. Hopefully I'm just being dramatic.  
  
**Clarke (10:39 PM):** Lexa? Are you okay?  
  
**Clarke (10:40 PM):** Just let me know you're safe.  
  
**Clarke (11:08 PM):** Okay, my anxiety doesn't let me sleep cause I'm worried about you.  
  
**Clarke (11:09 PM):** Sorry if I'm annoying you, I promise I'll stop, please just tell me you're home and nothing bad happened.  
  
**Clarke (12:23 AM):** Raven won't stop kicking me in her sleep. I'm still awake.  
  
**Clarke (12:23 AM):** Lexa, please text me back, I'm worried.  
  
**One missed call from Clarke (12:31 PM)**  
  
**One missed call from Clarke (1:01 AM)**  
  
**One missed call from Clarke (1:14 AM)**  
  
Well, fuck. Lexa had been so focused on cleaning up Nat's mess she forgot to text Clarke when she got home.  
  
She lies down on her bed, still holding her phone.  
  
**Lexa (2:42 AM):** Sorry, I forgot to text you and I kinda fell asleep on my couch and just woke up now.  
  
**Lexa (2:43 AM):** Nothing bad happened, I'm safe and sound, sorry I got you worried. And you're not annoying me, alright? Thanks for caring about my safety :)  
  
Lexa puts her cellphone to charge and lies carelessly on her bed.  
  
"Fuck." She mumbles, dropping her arm across her eyes. Soon, sleep takes over her.  
  
-  
  
_"What did you do to me?" Raven questions, fear visible in her eyes._  
  
_"What do you think?" Finn replies, with a sick smile._  
  
_The door behind him is still open._  
  
_He raises his hand, holding a gun._  
  
_Fuck._  
  
_"You don't have to do this, Finn."_  
  
_"Yes, I do. And there's no way you're gonna change my mind, so... do you have any last words? Something you would like me to tell your friend Clarke?"_  
  
_Raven sits up quickly. "Don't you touch her!"_  
  
_"Don't move, bitch! About your demand, though... it might be too late for that. Sorry." He shrugs, still pointing the gun at Raven._  
  
_The girl shakes her head in denial, tears streaming down her face._  
  
_"You're- you're bluffing. She's not here, and you're never gonna see her again." Raven replies, stuttering._  
  
_Finn smirks. "I don't bluff."_  
  
-  
  
"Clarke" Raven groans, shaking her friend's shoulder restlessly.  
  
"What?" The blonde mumbles, not bothering to open her eyes.  
  
"It's 2 pm. I thought you were dead."  
  
"Now that you can see I'm not, please leave. I'm not done sleeping." Clarke tries to push Raven away.  
  
"Okay, then, but just so you know... your dear Lexa called."  
  
The girl sits up quickly, finally opening her eyes and staring at her friend.  
  
"Did you talk to her?"  
  
"No, I didn't answer the phone, I was busy making lunch for your lazy ass."  
  
Clarke stands up and unplugs her cellphone charger. She reads Lexa's texts quickly and breathes in relief.  
  
"What's up with you? You didn't sleep until like... late." Raven questions, still staring at Clarke, who sighs.  
  
"I asked Lexa to text me when she got home, but she didn't, so I got worried and my stupid anxiety didn't let me fall asleep. I'm so embarrassed..."  
  
"Oh. Well, at least as you can see, she's fine."  
  
"I'm gonna call her back, I'll be right out, okay? Wait for me in the kitchen." She grabbed Raven's hands and pulled her up, pushing her out of the bedroom. "Love ya."  
  
She dials the number and walks in circles until Lexa picks up.  
  
_"Hey, Clarke."_  
  
"Yeah, it's me. Hi."  
  
_"How are you?"_  
  
"I'm fine. How are _you_?"  
  
_"Same as you. Uh... I just wanted to tell you, I'm sorry."_  
  
"What for?"  
  
_"You know... not texting you and getting you worried."_  
  
"It's okay, Lexa." Clarke sighs tiredly, "Really. I'm being dramatic. It's just... I already care a lot about you. And I might sound stupid, but I always tell my friends to text me when they get home okay, it's just something I do because somehow it makes me feel better."  
  
Clarke scratches the back of her neck, slightly nervous.  
  
"It's something that I found to tame my anxiety at times because if I didn't do that, I'd keep wondering if they got home safe or if something bad happened and- I know I sound very silly and you're probably not gonna want to see me again because I'm making such a big deal out of this and I understand, because I can be very intense... I know that. I'm sorry you're already having to deal with that annoying part of me. And I'm sorry I'm overreacting- and I'm sorry about sending you like three hundred messages and calling you, I was just- I was afraid something might have happened to you."  
  
_"Clarke."_  
  
"It's okay if you don't wanna see me anymore, I wouldn't blame you. Oh, God, I'm already making myself seem like the clingiest person ever- Fuck, I'm so sorry. I swear I'm not usually this."  
  
_"Clarke!"_  
  
"Yes?"  
  
_"Stop apologizing. I care about you too. And I'm a little messed up as well, you know? I'm not mad at you. Haven't you read my texts? I'm definitely not mad."_  
  
"Are you sure about that?"  
  
_"Yes, I am. A hundred percent sure, Clarke."_  
  
"So you still like me?"  
  
_"I still like you. Maybe even more now."_ Lexa sighs.  
  
"Okay."  
  
_"Alright, then? Are you feeling a little better?"_  
  
"Yes."  
  
_"Good. I need to go now, my roommate just got here and she needs help with her stuff. If you need anything you know where to find me."_  
  
"Okay."  
  
_"Goodbye, Clarke."_  
  
"Bye, Lexa."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As usual, Clarke and Lexa are dorks. That's it. That's the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked if Clarke and Lexa were ever gonna make a collab, well, they do it in this chapter. And some very interesting things happen.
> 
> Good news for some, bad for others, this chapter is the last one with flashbacks about that night. However, this is definitely not the last time those events are mentioned in the story, so...

" **@skaikru** : **@LexaWoods** I see you've met **@ClarkeGriffin** at last... How is she like?"  
  
" **@LexaWoods** : **@skaikru** Well, **@ClarkeGriffin** is sweet, funny, and managed to tame my problematic cat in minutes. She has my infinite respect."  
  
" **@ClarkeGriffin** : **@skaikru @LexaWoods** you are a giant dork. Can't wait to see you again!"  
  
-  
  
"Are you gonna stop flirting with Lexa on twitter soon enough or are you really trying to make it that obvious how bad you want to get in her pants?" Octavia asks, laying her head on Clarke's lap.  
  
"What are you talking about? We're not _flirting_."  
  
"Oh, really? Your fans sure think so, let me read this to you..." She clears her throat, searching for something on her phone screen. "We have: _Oh. My. God._ ; _Holy shit, just make out already_ ; _stop teasing us_ ; _I can't even_ ; _#clexa_ ; _you're killing me_ ; _stop_ ; amongst others. My personal favorite is: _Hey **@LexaWoods** , I bet your pants would look even better on **@ClarkeGriffin** 's floor._ I mean, parks and rec quotes are always the right way to go."  
  
"Let me take a wild guess and say that Raven is the one who tweeted that."  
  
"You're damn right. Go check her twitter, I think you're gonna have heart palpitations."  
  
Clarke facepalms. Her friends cannot physically stop embarrassing her. She hesitantly clicks on Raven's profile on her phone, reading the tweet.  
  
"Twenty thousand people retweeted that! What the fuck!"  
  
She keeps scrolling, trying to find more incriminating tweets.  
  
" **@TheRavenReyes:** Clarke ditched me to go hang out with Lexa, guys..."  
  
" **@TheRavenReyes:** Just arrived at Clarke's place. She's gonna have a hell of a surprise when she comes home later."  
  
" **@TheRavenReyes:** Just saw Lexa's car pull over, so I yelled at Clarke to stop making out with her and get inside. She's mad. I love my life."  
  
" **@TheRavenReyes:** Spoiler alert: they weren't really making out. Unfortunately."  
  
Her phone vibrates, letting her know Lexa has just mentioned her.  
  
" **@LexaWoods** : I guess my dog likes **@ClarkeGriffin** as more than a friend... #awkward"  
  
There's an instagram link attached to the tweet.  
  
Clarke clicks on it and gets redirected to a video of her, standing in Lexa's living room, genuinely laughing, and her dog, Clint, desperately humping her leg.  
  
Lexa's adorable giggles can be heard coming from outside the camera view.  
  
Clarke laughs and likes the video, going back to Lexa's tweet and typing an answer.  
  
" **@ClarkeGriffin** : **@LexaWoods** I didn't know you were filming this! lmfao"  
  
-  
  
Raven closes the door noisily, earning a glare from Octavia.  
  
"Sorry, I'm used to making an entrance." She says, walking towards the kitchen to open the fridge.  
  
"Don't you have food in your gigantic house?"  
  
"I do, but it's way too lonely there, I kinda regret buying it. I think I'm gonna sell the place and move in with you and Clarke." Raven mumbles, still looking for something in the fridge.  
  
"There's no way we can fit another person here, Reyes." Octavia replies, before slapping her friend's ass. "You shouldn't be here anyway, Clarke is practically going on a witch hunt looking for you."  
  
"Why? My tweets are brilliant!"  
  
She gives up and closes the fridge's door.  
  
"Keep your voice down! She's upstairs!"  
  
" _She_ is here now."  
  
Raven and Octavia jump, startled by Clarke's sudden presence in the kitchen.  
  
"Holy shit, are you trying to kill me?" Octavia complains.  
  
"No, not you."  
  
"Oh, dear." Raven closes her eyes forcefully and positions her arms in a defensive manner.  
  
She's surprised by a hug.  
  
"What the hell?" Octavia questions, shocked at the affection going on in front of her.  
  
Raven opens her eyes hesitantly before hugging Clarke back.  
  
Octavia grins.  
  
Then Clarke tightens the hug and Raven can't breathe anymore.  
  
"Help!" She tries to say, clearly in pain.  
  
"For a moment there I thought Clarke was gonna let you off the hook way too easily..."  
  
Octavia takes an apple from the table and bites it, still observing the curious interaction.  
  
Some more seconds of Raven squirming in agony in Clarke's arms, and she lets go.  
  
"Lexa is coming over later. We're making a collab. So, thank you." She mentions, stepping away from her friend.  
  
"What the hell? If my strategy worked, then why did I just get punished?" Raven frowns, clearly frustrated.  
  
"You have to admit, it was still embarrassing."  
  
"I guess Clarke doesn't like Parks and Recreation quite as much as we thought, Raven." Octavia joins the conversation.  
  
"How _dare_ you? How dare you insult me like that, Octavia Blake? I _love_ Parks and Rec! More than _any_ of you, bitches!" Clarke teases, putting her hand on her chest, dramatizing the situation. "I just don't _love_ when my friends use quotes of the show to hit on Lexa! Even if it's for me!"  
  
Octavia groans as Raven weakly mumbles, "Fine."

-

_Raven spots a flash of blond hair before Finn gets tackled to the ground._

_A loud noise echoes through the room and warmth covers her body._  
  
_She looks down at herself, finding blood._  
  
_"Oh, shit!" Finn groans, dropping the gun. He pushes Clarke away and runs._  
  
_The girl looks at Raven, finding her covered in blood._  
  
_"No! No! No!" She shakes her head, approaching her. "Raven, stay with me. Stay with me, okay? Don't close your eyes."_  
  
_Clarke grabs some folded sheets from the drawer, using them to press Raven's wound, trying to control the bleeding._  
  
_"I'm fine." She mumbles, her voice choked and weak._  
  
_"I'm going to look for a phone so that I can call help. Keep pressuring the wound. You're gonna be okay, Raven, I promise you." Clarke is in tears, knocking things on the floor trying to find the phone._  
  
_Raven lies down, trying not to scream._  
  
-  
  
"Lexa is here!" Octavia yells, opening the door.  
  
"I'll be down in a second!" Clarke yells back, rushing down the stairs.  
  
"Come on in."  
  
Lexa steps inside the house as Octavia closes the door behind her.  
  
"Clarke will be down in a-"  
  
"I'm here!" She interrupts, stopping in front of the girls to catch her breath. "Just give me a minute." Clarke pants, fanning herself.  
  
"Hi, Clarke." Lexa smirks.  
  
"Hey, Lexa."  
  
"Bye, Octavia." Octavia mumbles, before walking further inside the house.  
  
"So..." Clarke sighs, offering Lexa her hand. "May I escort you to my bedroom?"  
  
"Woah, at least buy me dinner first," She jokes, taking the girl's hand.  
  
"Now that you mention it, I did pay for our pizza two days ago..."  
  
"You're right! Well, forgive my ignorance, then."  
  
Clarke walks Lexa to her bedroom, opening the door for her.  
  
"How chivalrous of you, Clarke." Lexa teases, making Clarke blush.  
  
"Stop it, you."  
  
-  
  
"So, what are we gonna do?" Lexa twirls on Clarke's computer chair.  
  
"I was thinking, maybe the whisper challenge? A lot of people have been asking me to do it..."  
  
"Let's do it."  
  
-  
  
_After about ten minutes of painfully running around looking for a phone, Clarke comes across her own cellphone, dropped carelessly on the backyard. Finn must have dropped it. She immediately calls 911._  
  
_Clarke makes her way back to the room._  
  
_"Help is on its way, alright? Everything is gonna be okay." She says, kneeling down in front of her friend._  
  
_"Did he hurt you?" Raven mumbles, still having a hard time to speak._  
  
_"Not as much as he hurt you." Clarke feels the inside of her nose itch like when she knows she's about to cry for hours nonstop._  
  
_Raven looks paler than she's ever been._  
  
_"I'm so sorry, Raven."_  
  
-  
  
"Hello, sky people. I'm Clarke Griffin and this is the fantastic Lexa Woods!"  
  
Lexa giggles. "I'm hardly that fantastic."  
  
"Yes, you are!"  
  
They've been trying to start recording for nearly an hour now, Clarke always laughing in the middle of her introduction.  
  
"You ask, we deliver! You asked for Lexa, here she is!" Clarke adds, looking at the camera.  
  
Lexa smiles. "So tell them, Clarke. What are we doing today?"  
  
"We're doing the whisper challenge!"  
  
"Some of you asked for it, so as said by Clarke not even a minute ago: you ask, we deliver!"  
  
"Yes!" Clarke high fives Lexa. "We agreed on some rules..."  
  
"Each one of us can take three guesses for each sentence."  
  
"And if we don't find out what it is, then we're just gonna have to wait until we watch the video to find out!"  
  
"Do you want to start or-?" Lexa turns glances at Clarke.  
  
"You can start if you want, I mean- whatever you want-"  
  
"I think you should start, then." Lexa smiles.  
  
"Wait, does that mean that I start as in, I say the sentences or I try to figure them out?" Clarke questions, clearly confused. The other girl suppresses a laugh.  
  
"I try to figure them out, you tell me your sentences." She explains, putting her headphones on.   
  
"Alright, let's start this mess."

Lexa turns her music on. Clarke can hear the muffled beats coming from the headphones.  
  
"Do you have a map? 'Cause I keep getting lost in your eyes."  
  
Lexa concentrates on Clarke's lips, but standing so close to her, she finds herself not giving a damn about what she's saying.  
  
The girl keeps repeating her words, giggling and, well, it's safe to say Lexa regrets accepting this challenge.  
  
This is going to be harder than she expected and not only because she's awful at reading lips, but because the only thing going through her mind is how much she wants to lean in and kiss the girl in front of her.  
  
-  
  
"My mom's a doctor and she says I don't have enough vitamin u" Clarke mumbles, trying not to laugh.  
  
"I'm really bad at this!" Lexa yells.  
  
She reaches out and pauses the girl's music. "I'll say something easier now, okay?"  
  
Lexa nods and turns her music back on.  
  
"You're adorable." Clarke says.

"You're adorable?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"You're adorable! Wait, was that the sentence or are you just complimenting me?"  
  
"Both."  
  
Lexa smiles, still staring at Clarke's lips, once again forgetting they're playing a game.  
  
-  
  
"Okay, okay, my turn." Clarke says, after Lexa takes her headphones off.  
  
"I predict that you're gonna be better at this than I am." Lexa replies.  
  
"Well, you did get 1 out of 5, so... If I'm worse than you, we're officially awful at this challenge."  
  
-  
  
_Goddammit, Clarke! Concentrate!_  
  
She shakes her head, trying once again to care about whatever the fuck is coming out of Lexa's mouth.  
  
Clarke has always been very good at reading people's lips, but apparently, Lexa's lips are a different kind of challenge. Meaning that she can't figure out what she's saying because of very selfish reasons, like wanting to kiss the other girl senseless until she has to stop for air, or biting her bottom lip and-  
  
"Clarke!" Lexa claps her hands in front of her face.  
  
The girl jumps, pausing her music for a second. "Sorry, what?"  
  
"Are you even trying?"  
  
"Of course!"  
  
"Why don't you guess anything, then?"  
  
"I was- I was concentrating! I'll try to be faster, let's start this again."  
  
Lexa raises her right eyebrow suspiciously, with a tiny smirk making its way to her face.  
  
"Alright."  
  
-  
  
"You did it! You managed to be as bad as me! Congratulations!" Lexa exclaims, clapping her hands together.  
  
"Well, damn. I guess I'm not as good at reading lips as I had believed before this shameful day." Clarke jokes.  
  
Lexa shrugs, "I guess."  
  
"So it's official, Lexa and I are embarrassingly bad at this and we shall never try again. I hope you enjoyed watching us make fools out of ourselves. See you later."  
  
Clarke gets up and turns off her camera, sighing. "And that's a wrap."  
  
She sits down next to Lexa once again.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" Lexa mumbles.  
  
"Sure." She turns to her, adjusting her position so that she's sitting on her own leg.  
  
"Are you really that bad or did you fail on purpose to try to make me feel better?"  
  
Clarke sighs. "To be honest, I didn't think I would be as awful as I am. I just- your lips- they're very distracting."  
  
"Oh."  
  
She nods.  
  
"Oh!"  
  
"Are you okay, Lexa?"  
  
Lexa nervously nods again. "Yeah! I mean, yeah. I kinda... kinda got distracted by your lips as well." She looks away.  
  
Clarke clears her throat, making the other girl glance at her once more.  
  
"I-" She slowly raises her hand, carressing Lexa's cheek.  
  
"Yeah-"  
  
Lexa looks down at Clarke's lips before looking back at her eyes. She feels comfortable with the warmth of the girl's hand on her face.  
  
Clarke's heart beats so fast she thinks it might just stop beating altogether. Holy shit. She lets her vision fall to Lexa's mouth as the girl licks her plump lips.  
  
She slowly starts leaning in, alternating her looks between Clarke's eyes and lips. This might be it. They could kiss right now.  
  
The room is quiet, with nothing but the sound of the girls' breathing and the weird noise made by the ceiling fan.  
  
Clarke slightly tilts her head before closing the distance between them and gently brushing her lips against Lexa's.  
  
Lexa is stiff at the first second, but as she realizes what's happening, the girl starts kissing back.  
  
Clarke catches Lexa's bottom lip between hers, gently running her tongue against it. She releases a low moan, making Clarke's heart beat even faster.  
  
Holy shit. This is happening.  
  
Lexa slowly brushes her hand up Clarke's arm and the blonde shivers, slightly opening her mouth. Lexa uses this opportunity to slide her tongue between the girl's lips, which makes her release a low whine.  
  
The door opens a second later, followed by a voice. "Clarke, can I borrow your- Holy shit! I'm so sorry!"  
  
Clarke and Lexa jump away from each other, turning to the voice. They see Octavia for a milisecond before she closes the door embarrassedly with a thud.  
  
"Oh my god!" She exclaims from outside, giggling.  
  
They stare at the door, listening to Octavia's heavy steps until they can no longer hear her.  
  
Clarke glances at Lexa, with her cheeks tinged red.  
  
Lexa, who feels her face getting hotter, smiles dorkily. "Hello." She mumbles.  
  
"Hi." Clarke says back.  
  
-  
  
"What the hell did you do, Clarke?" Octavia questions, after the blonde closes their apartment door.  
  
"Uh? What are you talking about?"  
  
"Why did Lexa leave? You were kissing the life out of each other not even fifteen minutes ago!"  
  
Clarke sits down on the couch, resting her legs on the coffee table. "Her roommate called her, something about Natasha breaking her things."  
  
"Who the fuck is Natasha?" Octavia raises her eyebrows confusedly. "Does Lexa have a girlfriend??"  
  
"What the hell! Natasha is Lexa's cat!"  
  
Octavia visibly relaxes. "Oh. Alrighty, then. Makes more sense."  
  
They watch tv in silence for about five minutes before Clarke sighs.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I kissed her, O."  
  
"I know, remember?" Octavia turns off the television and turns to look at her friend.  
  
"What do I do now?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I'm sure Lexa likes me back, I mean, she did say it like, five times or something and she indeed kissed me back, but..." Clarke trails off.  
  
"Come on! You're Clarke Griffin! The almighty bisexual top! Don't give me that shy crap now." Octavia teasingly nudges Clarke.  
  
"I know! But that was before! Before I got all anxious and weird!"  
  
"I don't believe all of your confidence is gone, princess. I mean, you know Lexa is _very_ into you, what are you afraid of?"  
  
Clarke shrugs.  
  
"Tell me, you know I'm here for you."  
  
"I don't know, Octavia. I really don't know. Maybe I'm afraid of getting hurt? It's been so long since I've been in a relationship, I'm not sure how it even works anymore."  
  
Octavia sighs, gently pulling Clarke's head to her shoulder. "You're gonna be okay, buddy. Of that I'm sure."  
  
-  
  
"Clarke kissed me, Anya!" Lexa is hyper as fuck after chugging down her entire cup of coffee.  
  
"Woah, seriously?" Anya asks, dropping her phone on her lap.  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"While filming?"  
  
"What? No! Perv."  
  
Anya throws the cushion at her roommate's face. "I never said I wanted to watch! I just asked because you went there to make a collab, right?"  
  
"Right..."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So what?"  
  
"What does that mean? Are you dating her now? Are you, like, friends with benefits? What's going on between you two lovebirds? Not that I care or anything."  
  
Lexa groans, pressing her face against the cushion on her lap. "I don't know, Anya."  
  
Anya frowns. "Snap out of it, woman! Are you going to wait until she tells you or are you just gonna girl the hell up and tell her what you want this to be?"  
  
"I don't know!" She mumbles, with her face still dropped over the cushion. Anya claps her hand on Lexa's back.  
  
"Ugh, you exhaust me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has been commenting and being so kind! You guys are great! Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this fic so far :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Clarke go to their first support group meeting. Octavia comes up with a weird plan involving Clarke and Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: rape mention, violence mention

"Today, Raven!" Clarke yells, after honking for the fifth time.  
  
Her car is parked in front of Raven's house, they were supposed to get to their first support group meeting in fifteen minutes.  
  
She grabs her cellphone and dials her friend's number.  
  
"I'm running down the fucking stairs, Clarke! Stop bugging me!" -And she hangs up.  
  
A minute later, Raven opens her door, with an annoyed look on her face.  
  
"Finally! Come on, let's not be late for this."  
  
She gets in the car, still quiet.  
  
"Sorry I'm in such a hurry, you're not the only one who's nervous." Clarke mentions, her voice more gentle this time.  
  
"It's alright, to be honest, I was hoping you'd give up before I got ready..."  
  
Clarke sighs.  
  
"We're gonna be fine, okay?"  
  
"I hope you're right."  
  
-  
  
The support group Clarke found holds meetings every Monday and Thursday in an office building. Apparently, some woman named Indra, who is responsible for the group and the meetings in general, used to have the space as her office, but decided to change its use seeing as the community didn't have a support group that could benefit abuse victims like herself.  
  
It's like that beautiful saying, _be the change you want to see in the world._  
  
At least, that's what's written in the group website.  
  
Clarke rings the door bell while Raven fidgets with her pants' pockets and awkwardly rocks in the balls of her feet.  
  
A tall dude opens the door, an indifferent look on his face.  
  
"Can I help you?" He asks.  
  
"We're here for the... support group?" Clarke replies, unsure if she is in the right place.  
  
"Oh, okay. Welcome, come on in!" The man changes his manners but still looks intimidating.  
  
Raven and Clarke step inside the bright room. There are paintings nearly everywhere.  
  
"Nice place." Clarke comments.  
  
"The group members helped decorating it." He mumbles, walking them further inside the "office".  
  
"I'm Gustus. The meeting should start any minute now."  
  
"Okay. I'm Clarke, this is Raven."  
  
Raven doesn't look like she's enjoying herself that much, Clarke notices.  
  
There are about six other people inside the place, most of them drinking coffee and eating some weird looking cookies.  
  
"May we start now?" A dark skinned woman questions, bringing the attention to herself.  
  
Everyone starts shuffling around towards the chairs positioned in a circle formation, sitting down.  
  
"I see we have newcomers today." She adds, after taking her seat, finally setting her eyes on Clarke and Raven. "My name is Indra. Would you like to introduce yourselves to the group? Let me remind you that this is a safe place. Nothing we say here comes out of the room, there's no need to worry."  
  
Clarke nods, quickly glancing at Raven and back at the woman.  
  
"My name is Clarke."  
  
"Hello, Clarke."  
  
"Raven." Raven chokes out, not making the effort to play nice.  
  
"Hello, Raven. Do you two know each other?"  
  
"Yes, we're best friends, and we've been through the same... uh... traumatic situation. Most of it, anyway."  
  
"I understand. We'll get there and you're gonna have the chance to get it off your chest, but first, let me introduce you to our members."  
  
She points to the guy sitting next to her, Gustus.  
  
"I believe you know this one. Gustus."  
  
They nod.  
  
"To his right, there's Fox, Echo, Roma and Sterling."  
  
Each of the group members mumbles a simple 'hi' or 'hello'.  
  
"To my left, there's Maya, and sitting next to you, Raven, is Kyle."  
  
Kyle gives the girls a thumbs up as they get interrupted by the bell. Gustus gets up to answer the door.  
  
"And that must be our final member, Lexa." Indra adds, slightly sassy.  
  
Clarke's eyes widen. Could it be THE Lexa? As in her crush Lexa? As in the girl she was kissing yesterday in her bedroom?? What the fuck??  
  
Gustus opens the door and it's indeed Lexa Woods who walks in.  
  
"Holy shit!" Raven blurts out.  
  
Lexa spots them and her eyes widen just as much as Clarke's.  
  
"Do you and blondie there know our Lexa?" Kyle mumbles to Raven.  
  
"Clarke was making out with her yesterday, so... you do the math."  
  
Kyle snorts, trying to contain his laughter. Meanwhile, Lexa sits in the only available seat. Coincidentally, it's next to Clarke.  
  
"I think we're staying." Raven mumbles.  
  
Lexa glances nervously at them.  
  
"...hi." She lets out an awkward smile.  
  
"Hi." Clarke replies, blushing as she remembers exactly what they were doing a day before.  
  
Indra clears her throat, drawing the attention to herself once again.  
  
"Now that everyone is finally here, would anyone like to start?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Lexa, the last time you came to one of our meetings you mentioned something about visiting your parents. Would you like to talk about that?"  
  
Lexa cracks her knuckles.  
  
"Well, as expected, things didn't work out very nicely. I think the time I spent away from them somehow made me forget how awful they are, so in a moment of weakness, I had this terrible idea that I should pay them a visit, you know, because of how things are with my father."  
  
"Go on."  
  
"I only spent, like, five minutes with them before getting all of the stuff I still had at the house and then I left."  
  
"And how do you feel now?" Gustus questions, interested.  
  
"Better."  
  
He flashes a sincere smile at Lexa.  
  
"Clarke, would you like to tell us what brought you here?" Indra asks.  
  
Clarke sighs, she feels herself getting sweaty and about to pass out. But she has to try. If not for herself, then at least for Raven.  
  
She nods, but doesn't say anything, instead glancing at her friend and then at Lexa. That's not how she planned to tell her, but that doesn't really matter anymore. Clarke looks down at her hands.  
  
"It happened two years and seven months ago. I had just graduated from college, so I was obviously ecstatic. I was planning on going to some sketchy bar with my friends to celebrate, but nobody was available. So I asked my last hope, Raven, to go with me. It took me a while but I convinced her to come..."  
  
Clarke raises her hand to wipe away the sweat forming on her forehead, then looks at the floor and tries to focus on the little details of it.  
  
"Raven and I had a decent amount of fun, but then we met a guy. He said his name was Finn. I'm saying his real name because I have no intention on protecting this son of a bitch's identity. He offered my friend a drink and I left them to go to the restroom."  
  
She starts fidgeting with her fingers on her lap.  
  
"When I got back, they weren't there anymore. I asked the barman about it and then I found a van in the alley behind the bar. Finn was there. He was carrying Raven and she was uncounscious."  
  
Raven squeezes Clarke's knee in support.  
  
"He threw her in the back of the van, so I attacked him. But he just... beat me up. Then all I remember is waking up tied to a chair."  
  
She takes her friend's hand and glances at Lexa, who looks devastated. Clarke sighs.  
  
"Finn walked in, beat me up again. He said some disgusting things about Raven and about me and- he just kept- beating me up more and more and-" She stops, trying to contain her emotions.  
  
Raven squeezes Clarke's hand.  
  
"After he was done, he just put a knife in my hands and told me to go home. Said he was going to have some fun with Raven. That he had a gun and I shouldn't try to play hero."  
  
"Finn had put something in my drink. I don't remember anything, just waking up cold and in a whole lot of pain and- I was naked. I was lying in the bed. It was easy to figure out what had happened." Raven adds, drawing the attention to herself while Clarke tries to calm herself down.  
  
Lexa gently takes Clarke's other hand in hers.  
  
"Clarke did manage to free herself and play hero because she's the one who saved me in the end. Finn was pointing the gun at me. He was ready to shoot. That son of a bitch even dared to badmouth her. I was a mess. Clarke tackled him to the ground. But he still shot me."  
  
Raven sniffs, still trying to hide her tears.  
  
"Now I have to wear this," She points at the brace on her left leg, "If I don't want to walk around with crutches."  
  
Clarke drops both Lexa and Raven's hand to wipe her eyes.  
  
"I'm so sorry." She mumbles, looking at Raven.  
  
"You saved my life. This is just a little consequence." The girl pulls Clarke into a hug.  
  
She turns to Indra.  
  
"We managed to get help and in an incredible round of events, we're alive."  
  
"What happened to the monster who did this to you?" Lexa questions.  
  
Clarke sighs. "He got away."  
  
"We talked to the police, they alleged that they were looking into it but... they still haven't caught him. To be quite honest, I don't think they're even trying anymore."  
  
"Son of a bitch!" Lexa yells, visibly frustrated.  
  
"Lexa, get a hold of yourself." Indra demands.  
  
"Excuse me, I'm just really fucking mad. I can't believe they didn't even try hard enough to get this motherfucker behind bars!"  
  
Clarke rests her hand on Lexa's knee.  
  
-  
  
By the end of the meeting, Lexa hugs Clarke as tight as she can.  
  
-  
  
"Are we gonna mention the elephant in the room?" Raven questions, as she walks inside Clarke's apartment.  
  
"It's not very nice to joke about people's weight, Raven. And Octavia is very much in shape as far as eyes can see." Clarke jokes.  
  
Octavia is sitting on the couch, with a bag of chips on her lap, her legs on the coffee table.  
  
"Good one." She mumbles, giggling.  
  
"Aren't you a funny little shit? You know that's not what I meant." Raven says, sitting next to Octavia. "Seriously, though. Did you really not know Lexa was gonna be there?"  
  
"Wait, what? Lexa is part of the support group? Holy shit!"  
  
"I know, right? But don't mention anything, it's supposed to be a safe place or whatever."  
  
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." Clarke eyes her. "Not even Lincoln."  
  
"Good. I'm gonna lie down for a while. Don't wake me up-"  
  
"But Clarke! I thought we were gonna talk about Lexa." Raven interrupts.  
  
"Not now, alright? I'm tired. Maybe later, after I sleep for fifty years."  
  
Clarke makes her way towards the flight of stairs, ignoring Raven's pleas and Octavia's sad sigh.  
  
-  
  
**PussyBomb69:** You guys are adorable.  
  
**LickMyAss01:** hot.  
  
**Puta1989:** Just stop. Please.  
  
**ButterflyCannon:** My feels!  
  
**LexaLuthor32:** I think the reason why you're so bad at this is because you were too distracted by each other's lips to care... lez be honest...  
  
LexaLuthor32 is very right. And the two hundred and thirty seven people who gave the comment a thumbs up seem to agree.  
  
Well... Subtlety was never Lexa's forte anyway.  
  
She has been reading weird comments like that for over twenty minutes now.  
  
Natasha is carelessly sprawled over Lexa's shoulder, making herself seem more like a parrot than a cat.  
  
Clint drinks water desperately after running around chasing Anya before she left to go grocery shopping.  
  
In other words, Lexa Woods is feeling very bored right now.  
  
She had already thought too much about that day's support group meeting... She feels awful about what happened to Clarke and Raven, but she knows nobody wants pity, so at this point, Lexa is really just trying to get a distraction.  
  
Nothing has changed between her and Clarke. Right? She has been through some tough shit as well, it's not like that makes a huge difference in their ...relationship? Whatever you want to call it.  
  
The only thing that changed is that now they know each other a lot deeper than before. In a way, at least. And that's not a bad thing, really.  
  
Lexa doesn't like it when people treat her any differently after finding out about her past, so she makes a promise to herself that she's not gonna change the way she treats Clarke now that she knows what she's been through.  
  
It's not hard to keep that promise. After all, Clarke is still the same person.  
  
-  
  
Anya is still out grocery shopping, so Lexa's only choice is to wait until her roommate gets back so that she would finally have the time of her life cooking (and eating, obviously) the best lasagna ever.  
  
While Lexa fantasizes about food, the door bell rings.  
  
She gets up to find her neighbor, Lincoln, standing in front of her.  
  
"Uh... hi?" She asks, clearly confused by his presence, considering that Lincoln had never actually stopped by at her house before.  
  
He flashes a big bright slightly suspicious smile. "Hey, Lexa!" Lincoln replies.  
  
"Can I help you?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, absolutely." His smile widens.  
  
-  
  
_Two hours ago._  
  
"Do you actually think this is going to work, Octavia?" Lincoln questions, with his head resting against his girlfriend's legs.  
  
"Of course! Let me clarify it once again, you go to Lexa's and tell her what we rehearsed. Then you drive her back here, we lock her up with Clarke and you take me to that amazing restaurant for a delicious dinner. Easy."  
  
-  
  
"Octavia is having a game night at her place. She asked me to invite you. Well, to be quite honest, she asked me to make sure you're coming, so grab a coat and let's go." Lincoln tries to act chill, but ends up sounding even weirder than before.  
  
Lexa frowns in confusion.  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Grab a coat, you're coming with me to game night. Come on, hurry up! Time is money!"  
  
Lexa's facial expression stays the same.  
  
"Are you actually serious?"  
  
"Of course I am!"  
  
"Do I _have_ to?"  
  
"Yes, you do. Say goodbye to Clit and Nut."  
  
"Clit and Nut? Their names are Clint and Nat!" Lexa looks offended.  
  
Lincoln giggles. "I knew it! Who would name their pets after private parts? Right?"  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
-  
  
"Clarke!" Octavia reprimands, with her arms crossed.  
  
"What?" She replies, still groggy from her nap.  
  
"I thought I made it clear that you were supposed to take a relaxing shower and get your hot ass in some nice clothes by now!"  
  
"Why?" Clarke lazily rubs her eyes.  
  
"It's a surprise! Come on!"  
  
Octavia grabs Clarke by the hands and pulls her to the bathroom.  
  
"Shower. Now." She adds, before getting out and locking the door behind herself.  
  
-  
  
"So, what are we actually doing?" Lexa asks, after Lincoln turns on the ignition of his car.  
  
"I told you, it's game night!"  
  
"I'm not buying this story of yours, pretty boy."  
  
Lincoln groans for the fifth time.  
  
-  
  
"Now that's what I call a beautiful girl!" Octavia gives Clarke a standing ovation watching her friend walk down the stairs.  
  
"She's beauty, she's grace, she'll punch you in the face! She's Clarke Griffin!" Clarke jokes, spinning around dramatically.  
  
"Too much, Clarke, too much."  
  
Clarke frowns.  
  
"I'm doing everything you've asked me for the last hour! Why don't you let me put on my pajamas again? Pretty please?"  
  
"Because I have a special surprise for you that requires you looking actually hot."  
  
"I look hot wearing my pajamas, alright? Sweatpants and adventure time shirts make me look very sexy, O."  
  
"What have I done to deserve this, God?"  
  
"And why are you so dressed up? Are you going out?"  
  
The bell rings and Octavia rushes towards the door.  
  
"Finally!" She groans, slamming the wooden door open. "Come on in!"  
  
Lexa awkwardly walks inside, followed by Lincoln, who still has a weird ass smile on his face.  
  
"So, Clarke, let me explain how this is going to work. Lincoln and I are heading out for dinner. Have fun with Lexa, we'll be home late!" Octavia states, grabbing her boyfriend's hand.  
  
Before Clarke can even reply, the door is slammed closed once again, Lincoln and Octavia gone.  
  
"Oh, one more thing! Your keys are with me! So don't you think about leaving before we get back!" Her friend yells from outside.  
  
"I can call Raven or Bellamy if I want! They have spare keys!" Clarke screams back.  
  
"Good luck with that if you think they weren't involved in this plan! See you later!"  
  
Clarke turns to Lexa, who's still standing there awkwardly, looking around.  
  
"So..." She mumbles, trying to dissolve the silence. "Hi."  
  
"Hi," Lexa replies."You look beautiful." She states, the air still tense.  
  
"Thank you. So do you."  
  
"Not that you don't normally look beautiful- you do- you're always beautiful-" She stutters.  
  
Clarke blushes.  
  
"But again, you're a lot more than that- you're not just a pretty face- you- you have tons of other qualities- Of course."  
  
She smiles shyly and makes her way towards Lexa.  
  
"Did I ever tell you you always know how to make me feel better?" Clarke mumbles, taking the other girl's hand and walking her to the couch.  
  
"Be honest with me, do I sound like a very annoying and hormonal eleven year old boy right now?" Lexa questions, serious.  
  
Clarke laughs heartily.  
  
"You sound like an adorable girl whose crush makes her very nervous. Which I guess is the truth?"  
  
Lexa feels her face getting warmer.  
  
"Well, you sound very confident right now... it's kinda hot." She blurts out, widening her eyes when she realizes what she actually said.  
  
Lexa nervously glances at Clarke, who looks like she might have stopped breathing.  
  
Well... holy shit.  
  
"Lexa,"  
  
Suddenly, Clarke's lips are on hers and breathing is not an option anymore. Lexa's hands are on Clarke's hair and honestly, she has no idea how she managed to survive for so long without her kiss.  
  
Clarke scrapes her nails against Lexa's back, earning a low moan.  
  
Holy shit, indeed.  
  
-  
  
Lincoln's phone rings and he drops the cutlery to check who's calling.  
  
"Sorry, babe, it's Anya. I gotta take it." He mumbles to Octavia, before answering the phone.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"What the fuck, Lincoln? Where the hell did you take Lexa? She was gonna cook dinner for me!"  
  
"She's at Clarke's. Sorry I didn't tell you, Octavia had this _brilliant_ idea and she made me take your roomie from you. But on the bright side, she's probably gonna get laid tonight, so be happy! Feed her pets! Have a fun night alone! I'll drop her off later!"  
  
"Lincoln, I swear to god- wait. She's at her crush's house?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Oh. Why didn't you just say so?"  
  
"That was literally the first thing I said-"  
  
"Bye, Lincoln."  
  
Anya hangs up.  
  
Lincoln looks at Octavia like he's on the office.  
  
"Why are you friends with Lexa's roomate again?" Octavia questions, before shoving another forkful of food in her mouth.  
  
"Anya is my cousin! Why do you keep forgetting that?"  
  
-  
  
Clarke teasingly bites Lexa's bottom lip, then releasing it softly. She starts kissing her way to the other girl's neck.  
  
"Clarke."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Clarke, we can't-"  
  
Lexa gently pushes Clarke away.  
  
"Sorry." The blonde mumbles.  
  
"It's okay, I just, it's too soon, don't you think?"  
  
Lexa gently rubs her hands on Clarke's arms.  
  
"You're right. We're in the living room anyway, it's not as comfortable as the other options."  
  
She smirks, shaking her head. "How do you do it?"  
  
"Are you actually asking what I think you're asking?"  
  
"No!" Lexa blushes. "Well, now I see how that sounds, but that's not what I meant. I meant, how do you do it, as in, how do you always find a way to make me like you more?"  
  
"You're so cheesy." Clarke smiles.  
  
Lexa drops her shoulders, self-counscious. "Sorry."  
  
"I didn't mean it in a bad way, Lexa. It's cute, I like it. In a way, you make me feel special." Clarke plays with a lock of Lexa's long hair, before putting it back in its place. She affectionately rubs her thumb on the girl's cheek.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Clarke plants a chaste kiss on Lexa's lips.  
  
"Really."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Finn is still out there, but don't worry, I have "interesting plans" for him later on.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, it's Clarke's birthday?? I guess a lot of things happen in this chapter, I don't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to post this chapter earlier today but I couldn't, so I'm sorry about that. Long story short, I almost passed out in the subway on my way home from college, but I'm feeling better now, it was just low blood pressure. 
> 
> Anyway, this was a fun chapter to write, so I hope you like it.

Octavia quietly opens the door, with Lincoln half hiding behind her.  
  
She starts giggling as soon as her eyes find Clarke and Lexa.   
  
It's dark and they're... asleep??  
  
The tv screen is the only thing lighting up the living room.  
  
Clarke is sitting just like she usually does, with her feet over the coffee table. But her arms are around Lexa, the girl's head resting on her shoulder. Lexa is not quite sitting, but she's not lying down either, her legs are tucked underneath her on the couch, her arms all over Clarke's midsection.  
  
They're probably going to wake up in pain if they stay much longer in this position, though, which is just... sad.  
  
"Look at these nerds." Octavia mumbles.  
  
"They're kinda cute." Lincoln replies. His girlfriend glares at him. "What?"  
  
She frowns. "I don't think they even had sex."  
  
"Octavia!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's none of our business!"  
  
Octavia glares at Lincoln once again. "Of course it is!"  
  
"Keep your voice down, asses." Raven says.  
  
Wait, Raven?  
  
What the fuck?  
  
Octavia and Lincoln look to their right, finally seeing Raven, who's sitting in the armchair next to the couch, with a bowl of popcorn on her lap.  
  
Just sitting there.  
  
In the dark.  
  
Eating popcorn.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" Octavia exclaims, whisper-yelling.  
  
"Watching tv and eating popcorn! Isn't it obvious? What did you _think_ I was doing? Creeping on Clarke and Lexa?"  
  
"Of course not!" Lincoln quickly says.  
  
"Yes!" Octavia ignores him.  
  
Raven groans.  
  
"Well, I did take like, two pictures of them? But in my defense, this is my ship here, people. I'm just quietly shipping them, I'm not hurting anyone."  
  
"Oh my god, you're so creepy. Did you catch them doing anything dirty? You weren't thinking about posting anything before showing me first, right?"   
  
"Are we ever gonna stop whispering?" Lincoln asks.  
  
Octavia grabs his hand, walking towards Raven. She pulls her up and they try to silently make their way towards O's bedroom.  
  
"Okay, now, spill it." Octavia collapses on her bed, bringing Lincoln and Raven down with her.  
  
"Alright. I had been calling Clarke for thirty minutes and she wasn't picking up, so I decided to come over-"  
  
"Didn't you hear my voicemails telling you about tonight's plan?"  
  
"No, I was hanging out with Jasper. Anyway. He dropped me off here and when I was about to open the door, I heard giggles."  
  
Raven rests her head on Octavia's shoulder, trying to get confortable.  
  
"Obviously, I got curious and wanted to know what the hell Clarke was up to, but then I heard noises from that weird bushes you have out there, so I turned to check what was going on outside and I just saw a lot of flashes and well, for a minute there I was legitimely confused. Like, what the hell? Is Clarke even famous enough to have paparazzi after her?"  
  
Lincoln facepalms.  
  
"Keep it in mind, I might have been slightly drunk. Okay, maybe more than slightly drunk. But then I realized. They were after me! So I start yelling at them about respect and privacy and out of nowhere, Clarke grabs me and Lexa shields me from the cameras and next thing I know, I'm inside."  
  
Octavia looks unimpressed, while Lincoln seems genuinely interested in the story.  
  
"How did they even get out of the house? I took the spare keys!"  
  
"Not all, apparently. Because that's exactly what happened."  
  
"What happened next?" He questions.  
  
"Well..."  
  
_"What the hell is going on, Raven? Why are there paparazzi in front of my home?" Clarke asks, visibly mad._  
  
_"I'm sorry! They were after me! I didn't know I was being followed!"_  
  
_Lexa sits down, still silent._  
  
_"Are you drunk?"_  
  
_Raven hesitates._  
  
_"I asked you a question."_  
  
_"Yes."_  
  
_"Dammit, Raven! Who were you with?"_  
  
_"Are you my mother now?"_  
  
_"That's not what this is about, Raven. You scared me. And Lexa. I don't know about you, but it's not a normal occurence for us to have people screaming in our front yard at ten pm! Nevermind when it's my best friend who's yelling. What's going on? Just tell me what happened. Please."_  
  
_Raven sighs._  
  
_"I was with Jasper. He wanted to hang out and since I had nothing better to do, I did. We didn't do anything wrong, I swear. But I tried calling you because I wanted you to come hang out with us and you weren't answering. Anyway, after that I just got tired and asked Jasper to drop me off because you promised me we would talk about Lexa and-"_  
  
_"Raven!"_  
  
_"It's alright." Lexa mumbles._  
  
_"I'm really sorry. Also, sorry about, you know, ruining your date or whatever this is." Raven adds._  
  
_"Don't worry about it. Are you sober enough to take a shower on your own?"_  
  
_"Yep."_  
  
_"Great. After that, just get some clothes from my closet, we can watch a movie or whatever."_  
  
_"I don't wanna bother you guys more than necessary..."_  
  
_"Raven, listen to your mother." Lexa interrupts._  
  
_Clarke glares at her._  
  
_"What?"_  
  
_Raven pulls both girls into a hug. "Thanks, moms. I'll be right down."_  
  
"Anyway, that's what happened."  
  
Lincoln is most definitely tearing up. "This story was just so beautiful."  
  
"Oh my god, are you crying?" Octavia asks, giggling.  
  
"Excuse me, I'm a very sentimental man, alright? Forgive me for having feelings."   
  
Octavia hugs her boyfriend, still laughing. "You big baby."  
  
Raven clears her throat. "What are we gonna do about the sleeping beauties downstairs?"  
  
"I don't want to wake them up." Octavia mumbles.  
  
"I promised Anya I would drop Lexa off tonight."  
  
"I can handle Anya." Raven mentions, getting up.  
  
Lincoln and Octavia start laughing.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Have you actually met her? She's a tough one."  
  
"Who? Anya? Give me a break, guys, I'm friends with her."  
  
Lincoln glares at her.  
  
"Since when?"  
  
"Since I worked with her last summer? Do you guys even listen to me when I tell you about my adventures?"  
  
"Oh, of course." Octavia lies. "Of course we do. I remember. Obviously."  
  
-  
  
_"What do you mean, she's not coming back tonight?"_  
  
"Anya, your dear roomate is all cuddled up with my best friend and I'm obviously not waking her up, so... no, she's not coming back tonight." Raven explains, turning her bedroom lights off and getting in bed, with her cellphone still held to her ear.  
  
" _Okay, but let me just make something clear, next time you and your friends decide to kidnap Lexa, do it when she's not planning on cooking for me, alright? I get that she's all kinds of gross with Clarke, but it's still annoying."_  
  
"Alright. It wasn't my idea anyway."  
  
_"Now that we're agreed, I'm going to hang up, okay? And look at that, how nice is it that I'm actually warning you beforehand?"_  
  
"Are you seriously gonna hang up on me so rudely even though I just got you a new job? That's not very nice. At all." Raven teases.  
  
_"You're proving I really shouldn't have accepted it..."_  
  
"Goodnight, rude person." Anya can't hang up on her, but who says she can't hang up on Anya? "My agent will contact you tomorrow to work the final details about your employment."  
  
Raven hangs up.  
  
-  
  
Lexa's legs are numb. Her neck hurts. She opens her eyes tiredly, remembering she's still in Clarke's living room.   
  
When did she fall asleep anyway?   
  
She tries to move without waking the other girl up, but is not successful.  
  
"What time is it?" Clarke mumbles, releasing Lexa from her grip and stretching her arms above her head.  
  
"I have no idea."  
  
_Crack._  
  
"What was that?" She questions, startled.  
  
"My neck."  
  
Clarke looks at Lexa, terrified.  
  
"Holy shit! Did it hurt?"  
  
"No, it kind of happens sometimes." She replies, before yawning.   
  
Clarke grabs her cellphone, checking the time. 2:17 AM, "I guess you're sleeping over, it's 2 AM."  
  
"Wait. Where is Raven?"  
  
"She probably went home. Come on." She gets up, her knees hurting like a motherfucker. "Let's go to bed."  
  
Lexa follows her upstairs. "Where am I gonna sleep?"  
  
"Would it bother you if we share a bed? No funny business, I promise." Clarke opens her bedroom door.  
  
"Scout's honour?"  
  
"You were a girl scout?" Clarke questions, grinning.  
  
Lexa facepalms. "Damn, I accidentally let that one slip."  
  
"That's so cute!"   
  
She hugs the other girl, burying her face in her neck. Lexa giggles. This is nice.  
  
-  
  
After giving Lexa some comfortable clothes and showing her the bathroom, Clarke climbs on the bed, waiting for her companion to change. She's half asleep by the time the other girl comes back, getting in the covers.  
  
"Sorry, did I wake you up?"  
  
"Not really." They're facing away from each other. "I know I said no funny business, but... can we cuddle? I'll _even_ let you be the big spoon if you want to."  
  
She hears movement and a second later, Lexa's front is pressed against Clarke's back, her arms around the other girl's midsection. Clarke gently interlaces her fingers with Lexa's.  
  
"Goodnight, Clarke."  
  
"Goodnight, Lexa."  
  
-  
  
Clarke awakens feeling lighter than ever. She feels Lexa's arms still around her, which causes her to turn to the girl, finding her no longer asleep.  
  
"Hi," Clarke smiles, playing with Lexa's hair.  
  
"Hi," She mumbles back, her cheeks a little flushed.  
  
"How long have you been up?"  
  
"No more than five minutes."  
  
Clarke gently pushes Lexa's shoulder so that the girl is lying on her back, then adjusting herself half on top of her. "Is this okay?"  
  
"Yeah." She nods.  
  
"Do you have any plans for today?"  
  
Lexa sighs, "I kinda have to take Clint and Nat for a routine vet visit. Why?"  
  
"I don't know, I was just wondering if..." She trails off.  
  
"If...?"  
  
"Nevermind."   
  
Lexa rubs Clarke's back, "Come on, Clarke, tell me."  
  
"It's nothing, really."  
  
She frowns, "Clarke."  
  
"Okay, it's just, today is kind of my birthday and-"  
  
"Today is your birthday?" Lexa questions, surprised.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Oh my god, happy birthday!" She holds Clarke tighter. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
"Sorry I interrupted you, go on."  
  
"I invited some of my friends over for dinner and you know, lame stuff, like, playing dance games on Octavia's Xbox and watching a movie, whatever. Anyway, I was gonna ask you to come. But it's fine if you're busy, I won't get mad or anything."  
  
Lexa gently pushes Clarke away, making the girl face her. "Of course I'm coming! I mean, you do want me to come, right?"  
  
Clarke nods, still slightly embarrassed.  
  
"But I still have to take Clint and Nat to the veterinary, so I'm gonna have to leave in like, half an hour to do that. That place gets crowded as fuck in the afternoon. Anyway, but I promise I'll be back in time for your birthday, okay?"  
  
Clarke nods once more.  
  
Lexa slowly rubs the other girl's cheek, taking her hair away from her face. "Can I kiss you?" She mumbles, letting her eyes drop to Clarke's lips.  
  
"I feel like I have bad breath right now."  
  
"So do I."  
  
"Do you still wanna do it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Fair enough." Clarke leans in and Lexa gently brushes their lips together in a brief kiss. "Do you call that a kiss?"  
  
"Do you have to mock me like that when you could just nicely ask for another one?"  
  
"You're mean." Clarke closes the distance between them, kissing Lexa once more.  
  
" _I'm_ mean? _You're_ insulting my kiss and _I'm_ the mean one?"  
  
"Stop talking and start kissing me, Lexa."  
  
So Lexa does as she's told.  
  
-  
  
"Happy birthday!" Octavia yells, startling Clarke as she walks into the kitchen.  
  
"Thanks, O." She hugs her friend before sitting down next to her at the breakfast table.  
  
"Did Lexa already leave?"  
  
"Yeah, she has to take her pets to a routine vet visit, but she'll be back later."  
  
Clarke fills her mug with coffee.  
  
"Did you two have fun last night?" Octavia asks, moving her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.  
  
"Well, Raven did show up drunk and followed by papparazzi so I guess you could say we had an eventful evening." She takes a sip of her drink.  
  
"Oh, yeah, she told me about that. Turns out she didn't know about my plan since she was too busy getting wasted with Jasper."  
  
"Tough luck, right?"  
  
"By the way, did you turn in the official adoption papers for Raven's custody?" Octavia teases. "I didn't know you and Lexa were already so far into your relationship to adopt a baby girl." She grins.  
  
"Oh my god, shut up. You and Raven are the worst." Clarke laughs.  
  
-  
  
" **@RavenReyes: @ClarkeGriffin** Happy Birthday, mom! Love ya! xoxo"  
  
" **@ClarkeGriffin: @RavenReyes** stop."  
  
" **@RavenReyes: @ClarkeGriffin @LexaWoods** Mom, mom #2 is being mean! :("  
  
" **@LexaWoods: @RavenReyes @ClarkeGriffin** stop being mean to our child, Clarke. Raven, your moms love you."  
  
" **@ClarkeGriffin: @RavenReyes @LexaWoods** you too?? What have I done to deserve this curse??"  
  
" **@RavenReyes: @ClarkeGriffin @LexaWoods** dramatic af"  
  
"@ **OctaviaBlake: @LexaWoods @RavenReyes @ClarkeGriffin** you guys, stop arguing so publicly, solve your family issues in the privacy of your home."  
  
" **@ClarkeGriffin: @RavenReyes @LexaWoods @OctaviaBlake** I hate you all."  
  
-  
  
Raven clicks on the recording button of her cellphone, starting a new instagram video.   
  
"Watch this." She says to the camera, before pointing it to Clarke's bedroom door.  
  
She quickly pushes the door open, yelling "Happy birthday!".

Clarke, who gets caught awkwardly twirling and singing around the room, jumps in fright, turning her song into a careless scream.  
  
Raven laughs heartily before ending the video.  
  
"This is great! You should've seen your face! I mean, you will, I just posted the video on instagram."  
  
"You asshole!" Clarke complains, not knowing if she wants to laugh or punch her friend in the face.  
  
"You know I wouldn't be myself if I didn't do this. It's in my veins, Clarke. I'm not gonna change who I am." Raven replies, before pulling the birthday girl into a hug.  
  
"I hate you so much."  
  
"Well, I love you. _Mom_."  
  
-  
  
"I heard there was a cute blonde birthday girl somewhere around here! Who's turning twenty five today?" Bellamy exclaims, before running towards Clarke and spinning around with the girl in his arms.  
  
"Put me down, jerk!" She groans, hitting him lightly before letting out giggles.  
  
"Happy birthday, princess! You're a responsible adult now!"  
  
"I've been a responsible adult for years, Bellamy."  
  
"I didn't notice! Anyway, I'm gonna say hi to my baby sister, she's in her room, right?"  
  
Clarke smirks, remembering Octavia and Lincoln were together in the girl's bedroom. This could be funny. She decides not to mention it.  
  
"Yep. You know where it is."  
  
Two minutes later, she hears screams. It's not that bad being Clarke Griffin after all.  
  
-  
  
It's 6:30 pm. The living room is full of Clarke's "annoying" friends. Octavia, Raven, Bellamy, Lincoln and Monty.   
  
Jasper is too busy with work, so he can't come.  
  
Monroe, Harper and Miller are in a roadtrip around the country, which means they're also not coming.   
  
Lexa is... very late.  
  
They had ordered Chinese food, which should be arriving anytime soon.  
  
Octavia and Bellamy are arguing about who's the best looking Blake sibling, while Raven, Monty and Lincoln challenge each other dancing Bang Bang on Just Dance 2015.  
  
Clarke is just sitting on the couch watching her friends. Monty is surprisingly a great dancer.  
  
The bell catches her attention, so Clarke gets up to answer it.  
  
She opens the door to find Lexa, with a big smile on her face.  
  
"Hi,"  
  
"Hey! I was starting to think you weren't gonna show up." Clarke states. "Come on in."  
  
"I'm sorry, to be honest, it took me a lot more time than planned to get ready." Lexa explains, pulling the girl into a hug.  
  
"It was worth it, you look amazing." She replies, with a tiny smile on her face.  
  
Lexa smiles back, slightly blushing.. "Are you going to introduce me to your friends?"  
  
"Oh, right. Yeah." Clarke walks Lexa towards Bellamy and Octavia, who are still arguing.  
  
"Guys."  
  
"Clarke, tell Bellamy I'm right." Octavia groans, frustrated, not even looking at her friend.  
  
Clarke clears her throat, making the siblings finally pay attention to her.  
  
"Oh, hi."  
  
"Lexa, you already know my roommate Octavia, and this is her brother and my good friend, Bellamy. Bell, this is my... uh, Lexa."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Lexa." He offers his hand and Lexa takes it to give it a shake.  
  
"Nice to meet you too."   
  
"Let me introduce her to Monty, we'll be right back." Clarke says, before pulling Lexa away.  
  
Raven, Lincoln and Monty's song is already finished when Clarke and Lexa approach them.  
  
"Hey, guys."  
  
"Ooh, hi, Lexa." Raven states, smiling mischievously.  
  
"Hello, Raven. Lincoln." The tall guy smirks.  
  
"Lexa, this is Monty. Monty, this is Lexa."  
  
Monty grins politely. "Hi, Lexa. I don't believe we've officially met before, right?"  
  
"No, we haven't. It's a pleasure to meet you."  
  
"Same." They shake hands.  
  
"There's also Jasper, Miller, Monroe and Harper but I don't really think you're gonna meet them this time around." Clarke mentions.  
  
"I can meet them another time."  
  
"Yes, you can."  
  
-  
  
Clarke's birthday ends up being very... interesting.  
  
After eating a whole lot of chinese food, and watching Clarke's favorite movie, How To Train Your Dragon -yes, it's kind of embarrassing to admit that out loud, but who cares?-, everyone starts realizing they shouldn't have mixed chinese food with as much alcohol as they did and, well, to put it in a gentle way, maybe if they had been more careful, Raven wouldn't be trying to play assassin's creed while dancing on top of the fucking kitchen counter, even after being warned five times that such thing should absolutely never be attempted.  
  
Some time later, Raven just falls asleep on the couch.  
  
Octavia and Lincoln have been hiding in her bedroom for about fifteen minutes now, which means things are probably gonna start getting noisy soon enough.  
  
Bellamy is sleeping on top of the dining table, because apparently he couldn't find a more comfortable place.  
  
Monty left an hour ago, which means he's most likely already home, doing god knows what. Probably drinking alone, let's be real.  
  
Lexa is the most sober person in the house, having drunk only two cups of wine, after saying something about "not being a big drinker" or whatever.  
  
Clarke should have been drunk for a long time now, after all, she's the one who drank the most out of everyone, but since she has some kind of weird super power when it comes to alcohol, the girl is just slightly buzzed.  
  
The only people still awake, Lexa and Clarke have been making out on the birthday girl's bed for about ten minutes now.  
  
They stop for a second, breathless.   
  
"Should we be doing this?" Lexa asks, suddenly worried.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Even though you don't look, sound or seem _that_ drunk, you still have a lot of alcohol in your system right now. I don't know, I just don't want to take advantage of you or anything like that."  
  
"You're not, but if it makes you feel better, we can stop."  
  
Lexa covers her eyes with one of her hands. "Is it okay if we stop, then?"  
  
"Of course it is okay. Lexa, I would never force you into doing something you don't want to, we've already talked about that."  
  
Clarke adjusts her position, resting her head on Lexa's chest.  
  
"I like you a lot." She mumbles. "You know that, right? You're like the brightest star in my whole weird, very gay, galaxy."  
  
"Yeah. It's fantastically interesting that even drunk, you still say the most beautiful things." Lexa replies, between laughs.  
  
"We're so sappy. I kinda like it." Clarke mumbles, before burying her head between Lexa's shoulder and neck.  
  
"So do I." She replies, sighing and holding the other girl tighter.  
  
Some seconds later, Clarke starts laughing desperately.  
  
"What is it?" Lexa asks, curious.  
  
"I just thought of a meme." She chokes out.  
  
"Oh my god. Which one?"  
  
"Pepe, the frog." Clarke manages to say, having a hard time keeping a straight face.  
  
It turns out that this was, by far, not her worst birthday ever.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is not having her greatest day; Octavia is weirdly good at pep talks; Raven is still a little shit; and Lexa is adorable as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess a lot of things happen in this chapter, I don't know.

It's been about six hours since everyone went home.  
  
Bellamy and Lincoln had stayed for breakfast but left soon after to work.  
  
A little while later, Raven had mentioned something about having to get to a meeting with Lexa's roomate, which basically ended up on her offering to give Lexa a ride, since she was going to pick Anya up anyway.  
  
And that's how Clarke finds herself now. Alone. Considering that Octavia is still sleeping even though it's past 11 am.  
  
She decides to film the cover she had been preparing for this week's video to pass the time.  
  
-  
  
" **@RavenReyes: @ClarkeGriffin @LexaWoods** Moms  <3"  
  
The tweet is followed by an instagram link containing a picture of Clarke and Lexa cuddling on the couch, that Raven took while they were watching tv three days ago.  
  
" **@ClarkeGriffin: @RavenReyes @LexaWoods** when did you even take this photo?? #Creep"  
  
" **@RavenReyes: @LexaWoods @ClarkeGriffin** stop being such a killjoy wtf man"  
  
" **@LexaWoods: @RavenReyes @ClarkeGriffin** I'm not even gonna get involved in this. Nice pic, though."  
  
-  
  
An hour later, Raven uploads another picture.  
  
This time, it's her and Lexa, with the former holding Lexa's dog, Clint, while the latter holds Nat. They're sitting very close to each other, on what's clearly Lexa's couch, Anya's head is visible in the far background, probably unaware of her presence in the photo.  
  
The caption says "The family that **@ClarkeGriffin** insists on rejecting. **#WeStillLoveYouClarke #StopBeingMeanToUs** "  
  
Octavia, who has just seen the picture, laughs like crazy. "Clarke! Go check Raven's instagram, I think you're gonna love this." She yells from the couch.  
  
"In a minute!" Clarke, in the kitchen, yells back, busy trying to find something decent to eat.  
  
"Oh, believe me, you're gonna wish you'd seen it sooner..."  
  
"Ugh, alright," Clarke slams the fridge door, walking towards her friend. "Gimme." She says, reaching for Octavia's phone.  
  
"Here ya go."  
  
And then Clarke finally sees it.  
  
Octavia stares at her, hoping to get a reaction. The girl just goes from indifferent to confused to even more confused to completely clueless and slightly... sad.  
  
"Okay, what's wrong with your face? Is it broken?"  
  
Clarke sits carelessly on the couch before giving the cellphone back. "There's nothing wrong with my face."  
  
"I think it's really funny how you still think you can get away with lying to me." Octavia replies. "Just tell me what's up."  
  
"I'm not sure, I guess."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You know how Raven is, she can be... exhausting and she gets on my nerves sometimes. But she's great and I love her, you know that. And she's all fun and upbeat and just amazing to be around and I just can't help but compare myself to her and it makes me mad because -I love myself, really, I had a hard time convincing myself of that, but- I kind of wish I was more like her sometimes."  
  
Clarke looks down at her hands. Octavia pulls her head to rest on her shoulder in comfort, hugging her side.  
  
"And well, Lexa is fantastic and we're kind of... a thing, I guess? But it just got to me that maybe she deserves someone better, you know? Someone like Raven. I just feel so inadequate right now and it's very annoying cause that was clearly not Raven's intention when she posted this picture. It's making me mad because this is just a picture and it's a great one, they look adorable and I would love it if it wasn't making me question everything in my life. I don't know, I don't think I'm even making sense."  
  
"Clarke."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Of course you're making sense. I may not know exactly how you feel, but I still understand." She quickly grabs her phone and types something in it before showing it to Clarke.  
  
It's her youtube channel.  
  
"Tell me, who's that girl?"  
  
Clarke hesitates before answering, "That's me."  
  
"Yes, that's Clarke fucking Griffin. Do you see how many subscribers you have? Five million subscribers, right?"  
  
She nods.  
  
"Do you have any idea what that means?" Octavia questions.  
  
"That five million people subscribed to my channel?"  
  
"No, that's not what it means."  
  
"Then no, I don't know what you're trying to say."  
  
She sighs, before hugging Clarke closer. "Five million people like you. Five million people enjoy what you do and think you're great at it! Five million people watch your videos and get inspired by them! That's fucking huge, alright?"  
  
"I know, but-"  
  
"Don't. Don't you dare say what I think you're about to say. Look, Raven has been working with social media since she was basically a kid. You started your channel three years ago. Don't put this kind of pressure on yourself. Let's look at it in a different way, shall we?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"So, you work with Raven a lot. You two make videos together every now and then, you go to her tv show almost every month. Part of your subscribers got to know you because they saw you on Raven's feed. You may see that as a bad thing, but it's really not, do you know why?"  
  
Clarke sighs, "I think you're about to tell me."  
  
"Damn right. There's people out there who actually like you and Raven at the same time! Woah! It's possible to like both of you! Holy shit, who knew?" Octavia replies, vaguely sarcastic. "You and Raven are different people. Just like you and I, and you and Lexa and, well, everyone! There's about seven billion people in the world and all of them are different! There may be people who look like you, talk like you, walk like you, think like you, act like you but there's no one in this entire world that could be who you are. We're all unique in our own ways, alright?"  
  
Octavia stops talking for a second, sighing. "I know sometimes we all doubt ourselves. We compare ourselves to others, we pressure ourselves into being what we're not. But, Clarke, to quote Bruno Mars: Girl, you're amazing just the way you are."  
  
Clarke giggles.  
  
"I know, it's silly, but it's the truth. And regarding the other thing, about Lexa deserving better or whatever, well, Clarke, let me tell you something that I learned from personal experience."  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"Do you remember when I started dating Lincoln?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Bellamy told me numerous times that I deserved better. That Lincoln wasn't good enough for me and a load of other crap, you know." She sighs. "Look, I understand he meant well, but I'm the only one qualified to say what I deserve. If Lexa heard you saying that shit, how do you think she was gonna feel? She would be heartbroken, okay? That girl may not know you for a long time, but she likes you so much it's painful to watch. She would be so sad to hear that you don't think you deserve to be with her and that's because, hell, she may even think the same thing about herself. I know I used to think _I_ didn't deserve Lincoln. People are weird, Clarke. We don't make sense most of the time, but somehow, we still find ways to understand each other and to work things out in the end."  
  
Clarke looks at Octavia, alarmed.  
  
"What? Did I say something wrong?"  
  
"It's just weird how good you are at giving pep talks."  
  
"Well, I did learn from the best, so..."  
  
"Thank you." Clarke rests her head on her friend's shoulder again. "I needed that."  
  
"Just... promise me something?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Actually think about that. My words. I kinda know what I'm talking about, alright? And if you ever start doubting yourself like that, don't push everyone away, try to talk about what's upsetting you."  
  
"Sadly, that's all easier said than done."  
  
"I know. But knowing you like I do, that's not gonna stop you. Like I said, you're Clarke fucking Griffin."  
  
-  
  
Clarke's phone rings for probably the millionth time. She finally decides to answer.  
  
_Dad._  
  
"Hi, dad." She mumbles, tiredly.  
  
_"Thank god you answered, I was starting to get worried..."_  
  
"I'm sorry for ignoring your calls, I'm just... I don't know, I'm not having a great day and I didn't want to accidentally let it out on you or something." Clarke massages her forehead, sighing before lying back down on her bed.  
  
_"Oh, Clarke, you know I don't mind hearing about your problems, don't worry about that. Do you want to talk about it?"_  
  
"Not right now. But what are you calling about? Do you need anything?"  
  
_"I'm actually calling to apologize for not being able to see you yesterday on your birthday."_  
  
"It's okay, dad. I know you tried your best."  
  
_"I love you, you do know that, right?"_  
  
"Of course. I love you too."  
  
_"I promise things are gonna get better soon, okay? I've been looking for apartments there in Los Angeles and hopefully by the end of the month I'll be a lot closer to you and we'll catch up."_  
  
"That's great, dad. I miss you."  
  
_"I miss you too, Clarke. Did you have a good birthday?"_  
  
"Yeah! I didn't throw a party, though. Some of my closest friends came over and that was basically it."  
  
_"That's nice. Are you dating anyone? Last time we talked you said you had your eyes on someone..."_ He laughs.  
  
It's refreshing that even though Clarke and her father haven't really seen each other for two years, they're still as close as they always were.  
  
At the same time, it's sad that she can't say the same thing about her mother. Abby lives in Los Angeles just like her daughter, but even when they see each other, well, it's always a little tense.  
  
The thing is, seventeen years ago, when Clarke's parents got divorced, let's say she took her father's side. It turns out Abby re-married a month after the divorce, which made things even more awkward for them. It's safe to say, Abby and Jake don't really talk to each other anymore.  
  
Four years after that, Jake married a nice woman called Brenda, who has a son, Wells. Clarke lived with them for about six years before moving to Los Angeles for college and, well, she never really came back that much.  
  
She misses her dad.  
  
Wells was Clarke's best friend and Brenda was always very sweet to her, so she kind of misses them too.  
  
Apparently, Wells got a job in Los Angeles, which encouraged his mom to move closer to him and of course Jake thought it was a great idea, after all, it would also mean they'd all be able to see Clarke more frequently again and "be a family" or whatever.  
  
Anyway, back to the phone call.  
  
"Oh, actually, I'm kind of... seeing someone, I guess? Anyway, I think there's a lot of potential there, I've been thinking about asking her to be my girlfriend, I don't know."  
  
_"Clarke, that's amazing! I'm happy for you! Oh man, Brenda is gonna love to hear this."_  
  
"Dad!" Clarke giggles, embarrassed.  
  
_"So, tell me about this mysterious girl."_  
  
"Well, her name is Lexa and she's... she's great. I mean, she's beautiful and weirdly polite and she treats me very well. I like her a lot."  
  
_"She seems like a nice young lady."_ Jake teases, which makes Clarke laugh.  
  
"She is."  
  
_"Like I said, I'm happy for you. Anyway, I have to go now, Brenda and I are very busy with all of the moving plans, but we'll talk soon, okay?"_  
  
"Okay, tell her I said hi."  
  
_"I will. I love you."_  
  
"Love you too, dad."  
  
-  
  
_Clarke Griffin._  
  
Lexa picks up her phone.  
  
"Hello, Clarke." She smiles.  
  
_"Hi, ... are you busy right now?"_  
  
"Uh, not really. I'm editing a video, but after that I don't have any plans. Why?"  
  
_"...Can I come over?"_  
  
"Of course. Is everything okay?" Lexa lies down on her bed, closing her laptop.  
  
_"Yeah, I'm just... tired, I guess."_  
  
"Alright. Are you planning on staying over or...?"  
  
_"I don't know. Octavia is leaving right now for some soccer thing, you know, work related, a bunch of meetings, all that. Anyway, she's gonna spend the whole week out of town, and I'm probably gonna spend most of this time in Raven's place since I'm not up to being alone right now but I was hoping we could spend some time together today or something."_  
  
"Oh. Cool. That works for me."  
  
_"Okay, then. I'll see you later."_  
  
"Definitely."  
  
Clarke ends the call. Lexa sighs tiredly.  
  
-  
  
About forty five minutes later, someone rings the bell. Lexa gets up to answer the door.  
  
Clarke is wearing a hoodie with sweatpants and she looks fragile beneath all of the comfortable, warm clothing.  
  
"Hey." She mumbles, not really letting Lexa answer before hugging her tightly.  
  
"Hi, Clarke."  
  
Lexa gently pulls the other girl inside the house, closing the door clumsily while still holding her. Clarke sighs and hesitantly lets go of Lexa, who gently caresses her cheek.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
Clarke shakes her head. "Can I have a kiss?" She weakly asks.  
  
"Of course." Lexa replies, catching the girl's lips with her own in a gentle peck.  
  
"Thank you." She smiles, before kissing the other girl's forehead and walking further inside the house. "Is Anya home?"  
  
Clint jumps around trying to get Clarke's attention. She kneels down, petting the dog.  
  
"Yeah, she's in her bedroom doing god knows what."  
  
Lexa sits on the couch, patting the space next to her, silently asking Clarke to sit there.  
  
"You know, I found something that made me think of you today." Clarke mumbles, sitting down next to Lexa.  
  
"Oh, really? And what was that?"  
  
"Wait a minute," She replies, typing something in her phone. A second later, Lexa's cellphone vibrates. "Check your phone."  
  
Lexa does as she's told, clicking on a link that directs her to a powerpoint titled "Why we should date". She giggles, reading the tumblr post.  
  
"That made me wonder... I know we haven't really even been on a proper date yet, but... I don't know, I like being around you and I like it when we kiss and cuddle so... would you like to... would you like to be my girlfriend? It's okay if you think it's too soon, I'll understand a hundred percent and respect your decision." Clarke blurts out, clearly nervous.  
  
Lexa starts giggling again, which makes Clarke frown.  
  
"What is it?" She asks. "Did I say something wrong?"  
  
"Of course I want to be your girlfriend, Clarke. Don't be silly."  
  
"Oh. Good. That's... good. But why were you laughing, then?"  
  
"You're a dork." Lexa smiles.  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"Are too."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"You're killing me!" Anya yells from her bedroom.  
  
"Sorry!" Lexa yells back.  
  
Clarke laughs heartily, followed by her... girlfriend.  
  
She stops quickly, widening her eyes. "Holy shit."  
  
"What is it?" Lexa asks, worried.  
  
"I'm dating the most beautiful girl in the entire universe."  
  
"Clarke!" She complains, blushing. "Don't say stuff like that, you're gonna spoil me."  
  
"Too bad, I'm never gonna stop."  
  
Nat makes her presence known, climbing on top of Clarke's lap.  
  
"Hi, girl." She mumbles to the cat, petting it.  
  
"I'm starting to suspect she likes you better than me." Lexa replies, getting more comfortable on the couch.  
  
"Don't take it personally, Lexa. It's just that I'm the goddess of all pets, I can't help it. It's not your fault."  
  
"I take it back, I don't wanna date you, you're a jerk."  
  
Clarke laughs, gently pushing Lexa away.  
  
-  
  
" **@LexaWoods** look what I found on my couch." There's a picture attached to the tweet. It's Clarke, lying comfortably on Lexa's couch, cuddling with Nat and Clint.  
  
It's safe to say, some fans go crazy. Comments from "cute" to "eat my entire ass".  
  
" **@ClarkeGriffin: @LexaWoods** look what _I_ found." It's a picture of Lexa, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, paying close attention to her cellphone.  
  
" **@Grounder_Anya: @ClarkeGriffin @LexaWoods** you're in the same fucking room. Stop tweeting each other."  
  
" **@ClarkeGriffin: @Grounder_Anya @LexaWoods** and people say _I'm_ the buzz killer..."  
  
" **@RavenReyes: @ClarkeGriffin @LexaWoods @Grounder_Anya** why the fuck was I not invited for this?"  
  
" **@RavenReyes: @ClarkeGriffin @LexaWoods @Grounder_Anya** traitors."  
  
-  
  
**Raven (9:16 PM):** Has Lexa asked you to be her girlfriend yet? Hehe ;)  
  
**Clarke (9:16 PM):** Actually... _I_ asked her to be my girlfriend. Like, three hours ago.  
  
Clarke adjusts her position on the bed so that her head is resting against Lexa's chest. They have been watching parks and recreation on netflix for over an hour before Raven texted Clarke.  
  
Lexa lays a gentle kiss on her girlfriend's head. "Have you decided if you're spending the night here?"  
  
She moves once again, glancing at the other girl. "I don't know, do you want me to stay?"  
  
"Yes. I could pretend to be super romantic and tell you I want you to stay because of numerous reasons, but I'm going to be completely honest with you, I want you to stay because I'm too lazy to get up and drive you home."  
  
Clarke giggles. "Then I'm staying." She presses an affectionate kiss to Lexa's lips.

This is not such a bad day after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the link to the tumblr post Clarke shows Lexa if anyone wants to see it: http://commander-griffins.tumblr.com/post/113897853043/sylviabal-michaelvarrati-tommyjarvisx3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven's tv show is weird like she's used to; Clarke and Lexa have a bit of an issue to solve; People are the worst; things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I was supposed to post this chapter yesterday, but I had a problem with that: my computer went to shit and I lost the entire chapter, plus everything I had already written for the 11th, and all of my storyline plans that I had noted down in my pc. I managed to fix the laptop but yeah, I had to deal with these consequences. I spent almost four hours straight (haha straight) back when I got home from college trying to remember shit and rewriting everything. Luckily, I remembered most of the things I had planned, but it was still very stressful, so forgive me for only posting this now. In that note, I'm not completely satisfied with how this chapter turned out, but I'm really not in the mood to change any more things and I also didn't want to make you guys wait longer without any explanation, so there's that. I'm gonna take this opportunity to change my updating days from Mondays and Wednesdays to Tuesdays and Thursdays.  
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter anyway.

Anya takes a sip of her coffee as Lexa jokes it's bitter just like her friend's soul.  
  
"Very funny. Now, can I confirm with Raven that you're going to be on her show today?" She asks.  
  
"Sure, I'll be there." Lexa mumbles, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Please don't be late, I really don't want to deal with her complaining."  
  
"What are you, her secretary or something?"  
  
"For the millionth time, I'm her personal assistant, Lexa. Don't judge. I need the money and she just happens to pay very well."  
  
"I'm not judging you, Anya. I'm actually impressed and very proud of you for, you know, swallowing your pride for once." Lexa replies.  
  
Anya gets up from the chair and takes her empty mug to the sink. "Keep making fun, Lexa. One day you're gonna regret being such an ass."  
  
"I highly doubt it, but good try."  
  
-  
  
"I have a lot of things planned for today's show, including a great chat with my fellow youtuber Lexa Woods! The Ark is here to play their new amazing single, "Falling from the sky"! Also, a new game with audience members that might get you a brand new car! After that, I'm taking calls with my great friend, Clarke Griffin, and as usual, there's history mockery with local historian Bellamy Blake!" Raven announces, walking around the stage.  
  
Raven's Reign is a live talk-show broadcasted every Saturday. As the name already says, it was Raven's idea. Usually, it's full of guests, weird games, music and sometimes, even bad advice for lonely people.  
  
In short, it's just a show for sad drunk folks.  
  
-  
  
"Let's hear it for Lexa Woods!" Raven says, earning applause from the audience.  
  
Lexa walks into the stage, waving hello to everyone, with a smile on her face.  
  
"Wow, hello, Lexa."  
  
"Hello, Raven. Everybody." She greets, taking a seat next to the host.  
  
"So, let's get right to the point. What brings you here today?"  
  
"Uh, you invited me." Lexa awkwardly answers, laughing.  
  
"Damn right, my bad. Well, as you guys might know, Lexa here has a popular youtube channel."  
  
Lexa nods.  
  
"You get your income from your channel, right? Which means it's basically your job..." Raven adds.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What you probably don't know, however, is that before becoming a youtuber, Lexa was a sergeant in the army."  
  
The audience goes crazy, making Lexa a little overwhelmed.  
  
"Oh, yeah. That's right, I served in the US army for six years."  
  
"How old were you, again?"  
  
"Well, I first joined it when I turned seventeen..."  
  
"Holy shit!" Raven exclaims, earning some laughs from the audience. "That's impressive, Lexa."  
  
"I mean, I don't think so..."  
  
"What? You joined the military when you were seventeeen years old, and you managed to turn into a sergeant before you even turned twenty-one! If that's not impressive, I don't know what the fuck it is."  
  
Lexa laughs.  
  
"What made you join the army anyway?"  
  
"Well, I had just finished high school and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. So, I thought, hm, why not join the army? Surprisingly, I got accepted and I actually enjoyed most of my time there. I mean, don't get me wrong, I hate war, violence, all of that, but, I don't know, it was like I finally belonged somewhere, you know? My platoon was very united, it's like I had a big nice family. The thing is, after those years, I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I was a twenty-three year old with no college degree, no job experience, no idea what I liked, it was just, uh, nerve-wrecking. I knew I couldn't spend my entire life in the army, and I didn't want to, anyway. It just felt wrong. A little while after that, I basically had a mental breakdown in front of, well, everyone, and I quit."  
  
"Wow." Raven mumbles. "I think you're an inspiration, dude."  
  
"Barely."  
  
"You didn't even know what you were going to do with your life but you followed your gut and you did what you thought was best for you. That's pretty badass in my book." Raven insists. "Somehow you still found yourself and gained control of your life, you built a little internet empire, things worked out in the end."  
  
"I think it was more of a luck thing than anything else, really."  
  
"Come on, the audience agrees with me, right?"  
  
Just like Raven imagined, the entire audience roars in agreement.  
  
-  
  
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Sergeant Alexandria Woods..." Clarke says, finally finding Lexa in the studio.  
  
The girl is playing some weird game in her cellphone with one hand, holding a handful of cookies with the other. Getting startled by Clarke's sudden presence, she jumps, letting her cookies fall to the ground.  
  
"Dammit, Clarke!" She complains. "My cookies!"  
  
Clarke smirks. "Correction: Raven's cookies."  
  
"Since they were in my hand, they were mine."  
  
"Aw, is the great Sergeant Lexa going to cry?" She teases, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's neck.  
  
"I get it, okay? I didn't tell you about the army thing. Are you mad at me because of that?"  
  
"What? Of course not! I mean, sure, I'm a little disappointed but if you didn't tell me, you probably had a good reason, right?"  
  
Lexa affectionately wraps her arms around Clarke's hips.  
  
"To be honest, I just don't like talking about it. It brings me bad memories."  
  
"It's okay, Lexa. I understand. Raven didn't pressure you into talking about it in the show, did she? Cause if that's the case, I'm gonna have a little _talk_ with her..."  
  
"Oh, no, don't worry. She didn't make me go into details, which was... kind of nice?"  
  
Clarke smiles, before pressing a quick kiss to Lexa's lips. "I'm going to be called on stage in a minute. Wait for me? We can, I don't know, have dinner or something. Or I could just give you a ride home, what do you say?"  
  
"I'd like that very much."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Yeah, good. Now get your ass out of here before Raven decides to personally drag you to that stage." She gently pulls Clarke away.  
  
-  
  
"Clarke Griffin, everyone!"  
  
The audience applauds, some people screaming with joy, if that's even a thing.  
  
"I'd like to take this opportunity to suggest my boss to start paying my buddy here... because I swear to god, she comes to this show every few weeks, she's almost as present as me, and I'm the fucking host." Raven adds, smirking.  
  
"I have to agree with that, Raven." Clarke replies, quickly hugging her friend before taking a seat.  
  
"Anyway, let me explain what we're gonna do to the people who, weirdly enough, never watched this show before. Clarke and I are gonna take calls from you, who's in your sad home, sitting lazily on your old couch, so drunk that you're probably not even gonna remember this shit when you wake up tomorrow. Call the number on the screen and hopefully, we're gonna give you some really bad advice." Raven says.  
  
A few seconds later, they get their first call.  
  
"Hello, who's calling?"  
  
_"Oh my god. Hi, it's Roy from San Francisco."_  
  
"Hi, Roy. What's up?" Clarke asks, getting more comfortable on her seat.  
  
"Yeah, Roy, what can we help you with?"  
  
_"Actually, I have a question for Clarke."_  
  
"Oh, alright. Shoot."  
  
_"Here it goes, I'm twenty-three, I'm a very outdoorsy person, fairly attractive and I have a nice sense of humour. My question is, do I have a chance with you?"_  
  
The audience screams, as Raven laughs.  
  
"Yeah, Clarke, does Roy have a chance at winning your heart?" She teases.  
  
"Oh, man, no... I'm already taken. But even if I weren't, I'm not one to enjoy blind dates, so... yeah, no."  
  
_"Well, okay then, it's alright. The dude better be treating you well."_  
  
"Girl." Raven interrupts. People yell like crazy. "No, guys, sadly, it's not me."  
  
Clarke rolls her eyes. "Next call."  
  
_"Y'all are sluts, there's a special place in hell for you two."_ And the person hangs up.  
  
Well...  
  
"Sir, I don't think you know this, but your number has been recorded by my crew. Now they know you live in Texas and you're calling from an iPhone 3s. I'm not going to say your name or adress on live tv, I'm not an asshole, but I can say this: go eat a bag of dicks. That's right, Mr. Collins. Oh, my bad, I wasn't supposed to say your name, right? Anyway, you can call all you want, but I'm still gonna be on your tv, computer, radio, everywhere you fucking look. Get over it."  
  
-  
  
"Ready?" Clarke asks, hugging Lexa from behind.  
  
"Yeah, I was just getting my stuff. We can go now."  
  
Both girls start walking towards Clarke's car, holding hands.  
  
"I guess this is gonna be our first _real_ date, right?" Lexa states, lightly squeezing Clarke's hand.  
  
"Now that you mention it, yeah... It's making me kinda nervous but yeah, it is."  
  
They stop in front of the car, Lexa making her way to the passenger seat.  
  
"No pressure, Clarke. We can do whatever you want. If you, I don't know, decide to order in, that's alright. It's going to be a great date as long as I'm with you." She replies.  
  
Clarke opens the doors and gets inside, followed by her girlfriend.  
  
"How come you're so nice to me? Why do you care so much about my comfort and all that? You seem too good to be true, you know? Are you even real? Am I living in some kind of alternate universe or something?" She asks, before putting her seatbelt on.  
  
"The fact that you even think I'm that nice just for treating you like a human being is frightening. It makes me think you haven't been treated well enough before me, which is just frustrating." Lexa replies, glancing at the girl in the driver's seat.  
  
"Am I acting weird?" Clarke questions, turning on the ignition.  
  
"No, why would you ask that?"  
  
"Because I am. You do know I'm not gonna break down if you disagree with me in something, right? Like, I can handle a little toughness, I'm not that fragile."  
  
"I never said you were."  
  
"Seriously, though."  
  
"I don't understand. What do you mean?" Lexa questions, confused.  
  
"I'm just telling you you don't have to be so perfect all the time, you know? I'm not gonna judge you if we have different likes and dislikes and I'm definitely not gonna cry if we have different opinions. I don't know, I feel like you might think I'm too fragile to even deal with you not wanting to do the same thing as me for once."  
  
"What are you even talking about? Do you seriously think I see you as a piece of glass that might break if I let you fall? Or like a fat hamster that I can't squeeze too tight without killing?"  
  
"That was definitelly a weird metaphor, I'll give you that." Clarke mentions, not taking her eyes off the road.  
  
"Look, I'm not perfect, alright? I'm stubborn and I can be a little too cold sometimes and I know I have some anger issues that I have a hard time controlling every once in a while. I'm hotheaded and I always think I'm right. I'm also a perfectionist. Is that enough for you? I just try to keep these parts of me away from you because I want you to like me for the person I try to be. Someone better. I don't think you're helpless or a fragile little bird. One of the reasons why I'm dating you is because I think you're strong enough to call me out when I do something wrong. I'm sorry if I ended up giving you the wrong idea."  
  
Lexa sighs tiredly.  
  
Clarke frowns but doesn't say anything.  
  
"Where are we going anyway? Did you decide?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
-  
  
Clarke stops the car in front of a park surrounded by a little forest. It's kinda creepy.  
  
"Is this where you're gonna kill me and then hide my lifeless body?" Lexa asks, trying to be funny.  
  
Clarke gets out of the car and makes her way towards the trunk. "Oh, damn, I knew I was forgetting something. My shovel! How the hell am I supposed to bury you now? Well, nevermind, then, you'll get to live this time. I had a plan b, however, so... have dinner with me in my secret place?"  
  
She takes a basket from the trunk.  
  
"Is this your secret place?" Lexa asks, confused.  
  
"Nope. Come on, I'll take you there." She grabs the girl's hand, walking her towards the forest.  
  
"I have to say, back when you asked me to be your girlfriend, I didn't know you'd be this creepy." Lexa mumbles.  
  
"And I didn't know you'd be such a nerd. Now shut up and let me concentrate on finding the right tree."  
  
-  
  
After about five minutes of walking, Clarke finally stops. "There." She points at a tree house. Wait. A tree house?  
  
"A tree house?" Lexa asks, clearly surprised.  
  
"Yeah... I found this place back when I was still in college. I still come here every once in a while..." She replies, a little embarrassed.  
  
They make their way climbing the tree.  
  
Inside the tree house, Lexa widens her eyes.  
  
It's defininitely cleaner than she expected.  
  
There are drawing and paintings decorating the walls and art supplies in a corner. Some blankets cover the other half of the floor, making it cozy. A pile of books are stuffed next to the blankets.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Did I impress you?" Clarke asks, sitting down.  
  
"Indeed." Lexa sits next to the other girl, who's putting away the basket she was carrying. "Who else knows about this place?"  
  
"No one."  
  
Lexa glances at Clarke. "Why did you bring me here, then? It seems like a very personal space."  
  
Clarke sighs. "To be completely honest, I wasn't planning on it. I was going to have a lame picnic with you in the park close to my house. But then you said all of those things and- I wanted you to see this. I wanted to share this with you."  
  
"Aw, Clarke. That's so sweet." Lexa puts her hand on top of Clarke's, giving it a light squeeze.  
  
"I'm sorry I was weird. You're not doing anything wrong, I'm just- I'm not used to this, you know? Like, being in a relationship. I'm still learning, I guess. And you're so considerate with my feelings, like I said, I'm not used to that." She looks down.  
  
Lexa rests her head on Clarke's shoulder.  
  
"And I'm sorry I was rude to you. I guess I can be a little defensive when people question my behavior, which is... bad. Look, I'm not that used to being in a relationship either. I've actually only been in one real relationship in my entire life. We can learn together. We're just gonna have to be a little patient with each other. I just want to make you happy, you know? You make me happy, so it's a fair trade. You deserve someone to care about you, to laugh at your dumbass jokes, to tell you how fascinating you are and to hold you when you're having a bad day. And I want to be that person for you. I can be that person for long as you want me to, I promise you that."  
  
"Please don't make promises you don't know if you can keep."  
  
"I take promises very seriously, Clarke. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."  
  
Clarke sighs. "I want you to be that person. And I want to be that person for you too, alright? I want to make fun of you and your nerdy things, like that giant Captain America poster in your bedroom. And your hawkeye mug. And your weird obsession with the Maximoff twins. And that Black Widow hoodie of yours-"  
  
"I get it, Clarke. I have a lot of nerdy things. Your point...?"  
  
She giggles. "See? I'm already doing it. But, yeah, right. I want to hug you when you're angry at the patriarchy- which is basically always-, and I want to make you tea when you're feeling down and to kiss you like crazy. Kissing you is always fun."  
  
Lexa presses a gentle kiss to Clarke's cheek.  
  
"Can I ask you something stupid?"  
  
"If you're asking it then I know it's not stupid."  
  
"Don't give up on me. I know it's too soon, but I already feel so connected to you and I really don't want to lose that. Does admitting that make me a loser?"  
  
Lexa gives Clarke a side hug.  
  
"It sure makes you silly if you didn't know I was thinking about the same thing."  
  
Clarke sighs, getting comfortable in Lexa's arms.  
  
"Oh god, I'm getting old. Is this our lives now? Talking about the future in a first date?"  
  
Lexa giggles.  
  
"I'm older than you. Anyway, if it's up to me, you're not gonna have another first date, so I wouldn't worry about that." She widens her eyes. "Did that sound creepy? It wasn't my intention, I swear."  
  
It's Clarke's turn to giggle. "Aren't you a little dork?"  
  
"Can we start eating already? I'm starving."  
  
"Of course, my dear dorky lady."  
  
Lexa lightly pushes Clarke away.  
  
-  
  
"So you're basically planning on starting a family with Lexa? I'm weirdly okay with that." Raven mentions, lying down.  
  
Clarke sits on the edge of the bed. "Not now! In the future! And it's not a guarantee, that's only going to happen if, and only if, our relationship works out. I mean, isn't that what being in a relationship means anyway? You either break up or you end up getting married or something like that. Lexa and I have been dating for less than a week, let's not get way too ahead of ourselves, Raven."  
  
"That might be true, but be honest with me Clarkie-pie, you're full of emotions inside, right? You're so happy you're glowing."  
  
"Okay, that's the worst nickname you've ever come up with. Sure, I'm happy."  
  
Raven smiles wide, pulling Clarke into a hug.  
  
"Aw, they grow so fast. I remember breastfeeding you like it was yesterday."  
  
"Gross, Raven. I did not need this mental image." Clarke pushes her friend away.  
  
Raven laughs. "My little young adult, almost in the verge of starting her own happy little family."  
  
"Raven, if you don't shut the fuck up I swear to god I'm gonna throw myself out of that window."  
  
"Why you gotta be such a killjoy, man?"  
  
-  
  
Clarke turns her camera on, starting to record a video.  
  
"Hello, Sky people. This video is going to be slightly more serious than the ones I usually make, so I need you guys to take a deep breath and hear me out, okay? Can you guys do that?"  
  
She takes a deep breath.  
  
"There. Good. Now, you might know that I made a quick appearance on Raven's show yesterday. In said show, I admitted to being in a relationship. That's situation number one. Situation number one was what unleashed some other really uncomfortable situations, all of which I'm going to be addressing in this video." The girl explains, before cracking her knuckles.  
  
"Situation number two, people go crazy and start making assumptions. Look, you guys need to take a chill pill. Seriously. I don't know how you can survive spending so much time caring about my sexual life, it must be exhausting. It's completely okay to ship me with whoever you want, but there's limits to everything."  
  
Clarke takes another deep breath before continuing.  
  
"I'm not going to talk about my relationship. Not yet, at least. You have to understand that. Please, stop asking me if I'm dating Lexa or Raven or Octavia or whoever you think might be the case. I'm not gonna answer that."  
  
"Situation number three, people harrass my roomate, who's in a business trip, about my relationship. I'm not even fucking joking, that happened. Three hours ago, Octavia called be, terrified, because people were even sending her death threats just because of my personal romantic life. Stop that shit. If you're doing this, for fucks sake, stop. Keep my friends out of this."  
  
"Situation number four, people send explicit, sexual content to my dad. Let me remind you, I'm not making this up, I'm saying things as they happened. I didn't even know my dad had a twitter, he said he uses it exclusively for work related business. This man, who sadly, I haven't seen in nearly two years, called me saying nine people who say they're my fans, found his account, stalked him and fucking sent him tons of spam and questions about who I'm dating, along other very embarrassing things. This is not okay. I had to ask him to protect his account. The only reason I'm not yelling uncontrollably and cursing like crazy right now is because of my consideration for the fans who have nothing to do with this mess. I'm only gonna say this once: Leave. My dad. Alone. I fucking beg of you, leave him alone. Leave my family alone."  
  
"If you're one of the people who are harrassing my friends and family, please, fucking stop this shit. It's making everyone uncomfortable and it's not okay. To everyone who has been supporting me for all these years and respecting me and everyone else, thank you and keep being cool. That's all for today."  
  
-  
  
**@LexaWoods:**  Hey, everyone who's sending Clarke hate because of her newest video: Go fuck yourselves. This is unacceptable.  
  
**@LexaWoods:** If you're being a jerk to this girl, her family or friends, unfollow me right now. Fucking do it. Get the fuck out of here.  
  
**@LexaWoods:** Leave Clarke alone. If I see one of my fans sending her a single bad word, I'm gonna find you and punch you in the face.  
  
-  
  
"Tell me if anything like this happens again, okay?" Clarke asks, sighing.  
  
_"I'm your old man, Clarke, I think I should be the one worrying about you."_ Jake replies. He sounds tired.  
  
"Still, dad. This is so fucked up... Can we stop talking about that? I've got a headache, I've spent the last hours getting angrier and angrier because of this shit. Lincoln, Lexa and Bellamy are coming over later, hopefully they'll make me feel better."  
  
_"I have good news, if you'd like to know."_  
  
"Oh, yeah! Tell me! I need good news." She massages her forehead with one hand, her other still holding the phone to her ear.  
  
_"Brenda and I signed a deal, we're gonna move in to Los Angeles in a week!"_  
  
"Dad! That's amazing!"  
  
_"I know! We're gonna see each other soon, darling!"_  
  
"Finally!"  
  
_"About Wells, though..."_  
  
"Aw, dad, I promised you I'd talk to him. I will. First thing tomorrow I'm gonna call him and invite him for coffee or something."  
  
_"Don't lie to your father, Clarke."_  
  
"I'm not lying! I swear I'm gonna call him, dad."  
  
_"I don't get why you're so worried about talking to him again. He's your stepbrother, Clarke. You've been best friends for years, what happened with that?"_ Jake questions, genuinely confused.  
  
Clarke sighs.  
  
"You know when I came out to you and Brenda back when I was still in college?"  
  
_"Of course, that's when she lost our bet and had to pay me fifty bucks."_  
  
"Because apparently you've known about my bisexuality before I even knew it myself... Yeah, anyway. You know how I was nervous about it at that time, I didn't know how people were gonna react and, well, in the end I kind of... forgot to tell Wells. The thing is, I'm afraid of bringing it up now because, you know, you said it yourself, we used to be best friends, he's probably gonna be mad because I never told him about it in all this time." Clarke rants.  
  
Jake laughs. _"Clarke. Knowing you both the way I do, he probably already knows even though you never said it. But your sexuality doesn't define you as a person, my dear. You used to tell me this quite a lot of times back in the day."_  
  
"I know, dad. I'm just anxious. I hope you're right." She takes a deep breath. "Well, I bet he's gonna ask me if I'm dating anyone when we catch up, so I'm just going to casually mention Lexa. Do you think that's a good plan?"  
  
_"That's a great plan, Clarke. All of your plans are great."_  
  
"Clarkie-pie! Your girlfriend is here!" Raven teases, from the other side of the living room.  
  
"I have to go, dad. Lexa is here. I'll call you back tomorrow after I talk to Wells, okay?"  
  
_"I'll be waiting."_ Jake replies, before hanging up.  
  
"Look who's here! Your knight in a shinning armour!" Raven lightly pushes Lexa towards Clarke, who gets up from the couch and smiles shyly.  
  
"Hi there."  
  
"Hello, Clarke." Lexa smiles back.  
  
Clarke hugs her girlfriend tightly.  
  
"Are you ready for Raven's famous game night?" She asks, her face buried on Lexa's shoulder.  
  
Raven slaps Lexa's ass. "She better be!"  
  
Clarke lets go of her. "Raven! Don't do that!" She pulls Lexa away from her friend.  
  
"Killjoy" Raven mumbles, rolling her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know that in canon Lexa is a commander, but it was pointed out to me that there's no such thing as a commander rank in the US army, so I had to change that in order for it to be accurate.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finally calls Wells; Raven has interesting plans for Halloween; Octavia gets back from her "business trip"; and Lexa doesn't feel that well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually don't know if I'm gonna post the next chapter this week, I just finished writing this one and knowing my lazy ass, I'm gonna procrastinate really hard writing the next one, so I don't know if it'll be ready by Thursday, but don't worry, I won't make you wait too long.

Clarke wanders around her bedroom with the phone held to her ear.  
  
_Ring._  
  
_Ring._  
  
_Ring._  
  
_"Hello?"_  
  
She clears her throat, suddenly even more nervous than before.  
  
"Uh, Wells?"  
  
_"Clarke? Is that you?"_ He asks, clearly surprised by the call.  
  
"Yeah, it's me." She sighs.  
  
_"Really? Am I not just dreaming? How long has it been? Three years or something?"_  
  
"Something like that." She walks slower but doesn't actually stop. "Hey, I know that we haven't really talked or... hung out in a long time but, you know, since Brenda and my dad are moving in to Los Angeles next week, I thought we should catch up. You know, knowing them, they're probably gonna make us have dinner together once a week or some shit like that, to bring us together again like a family of some sorts. I just thought it'd be less weird if we got most things out of the way before that. I don't know, it was just a thought." Clarke rambles.  
  
_"I'd be down for that, Clarke. I miss you, you know. Not only as my step-sister, but as my friend."_  
  
"I miss you too, Wells."  
  
_"So...? Do you have something in mind?"_  
  
"Oh, right. Right. I thought we could get together for coffee or something like that. My friend has this coffee shop nearby, it's very cozy and private, maybe that'd be a good spot, what do you think?"  
  
_"Sounds good."_  
  
"Are you free today? Like, around 4 pm?"  
  
_"Yeah, that works for me. I can meet you there."_  
  
"Great. I'll text you the address."  
  
_"Alright, see you soon."_  
  
"See you soon, Wells." Clarke whispers, hanging up and slowly putting the cellphone away.  
  
She sighs tiredly, before running a hand through her hair.  
  
_Knock. Knock. Knock._  
  
"Come on in." Clarke says, still standing in the middle of the bedroom.  
  
There are pieces of clothing scattered on the bed, socks and shoes all over the floor. She's in no mood to clean her room.  
  
The door opens slowly, Lexa's head being the first thing to show up.  
  
"Hi there." She mumbles, with a little smile on her face.  
  
Lexa opens the door wider, walking inside.  
  
Her hair is still wet from the recent shower. She's wearing a black tank top, her arm tattoos exposed, and some short shorts.  
  
Clarke feels herself getting warm.  
  
"Well, hello, gorgeous." She blurts out.  
  
Lexa lets out a short laugh. "You're not so bad yourself."  
  
Clarke wraps her arms around her girlfriend's neck, bringing them closer together.  
  
"Have you called your step-brother yet or are you still trying to come up with lame excuses not to?" Lexa questions, before pressing a warm kiss to Clarke's cheek.  
  
"I just did, actually. We're meeting for coffee later today."  
  
"Oh! That's great, Clarke!" She presses three more quick kisses to the other girl's jaw.  
  
"Right? Aren't you proud of my adult-y behavior?" Clarke teases.  
  
"Hell yeah!" Lexa tightens her hold around Clarke's hips, closing the distance between them and bringing their lips together for a kiss that ends way too quickly.  
  
Clarke groans. "According to my calculations, you have not kissed me nearly as much and for as long as I wish you had."  
  
"You call me sappy but you're clearly sappier..."  
  
"How dare you? You're obviously sappier! I can prove it!"  
  
"Oh yeah?" She presses a quick peck to Clarke's lips. "Good luck with that."  
  
Lexa gently pushes the other girl away, slowly walking towards the door.  
  
"What the hell? Are you leaving?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What about my kisses?!" Clarke complains.  
  
"Should've thought about that before calling me the sappier one, Clarke. Shame on you." And with that, she closes the door behind her.  
  
"Lexa! Come back! I'm sappier than you! I am!" She yells, helpless. "Wait, are you actually leaving?"  
  
"No! I'm just downstairs! Raven made breakfast, by the way!" Lexa screams back.  
  
"Just checking!"  
  
-  
  
"Everything is gonna go fine, Clarke. But if somehow, you know, things turn out... not so great, just give me a call and I'll come pick you up, okay?" Raven states, when Clarke is about to go meet with Wells.  
  
"Thanks, babe." She smiles, before turning away and starting her ten-minute-jorney to Monroe's coffee shop.  
  
When she gets there, the place has only three tables occupied. She quickly says hi to Monroe before finding a seat. Wells is nowhere to be seen.  
  
Nearly a minute later, he opens the glass door, ringing the little bell above it. Clarke stands up to give him a hug.  
  
"Hi! Long time no see, huh?" Wells says, smiling.  
  
She smiles back, silently asking him to sit down on the booth.  
  
"What can I get you guys?" Monroe asks, suddenly next to the table.  
  
"The usual for me, thanks." Clarke replies.  
  
"I'll have whatever she's getting" Wells adds. "I'm trusting you with that." He lets out a laugh.  
  
Monroe leaves after that.  
  
"So... how are you?" He asks, interested.  
  
"Oh, I'm alright. What about you?"  
  
"Come on, Clarke, we know each other better than that. Give me details!"  
  
"Okay, okay. Uh, what can I say... I've been doing some freelance and you know, just working with my youtube channel and... I'm still living with Octavia and she's still dating Lincoln and... Raven is still annoying and great and... I don't know, I'm okay. I recently joined a support group, you know, to help me with all of that stuff from the past... I'm kinda happy, I guess."  
  
"That's great, Clarke. I'm glad you're doing okay." Wells smiles politely.  
  
"What about you? Anything interesting you want to share?" Clarke questions, putting her elbows on the table and supporting her chin with one hand.  
  
"I'm good. I'm working in a lab, you know, scientist stuff, nothing interesting. I'm living in this tiny flat, nothing expensive. What else... I made some friends, we hang out every once in a while, ...uh, I'm dating someone... I think that about covers it."  
  
"You're dating? That's amazing, Wells! How long have you been together? What's her name?"  
  
"Almost four months now." He replies, seeming happy. "Her name is Rose."  
  
"Do you have a picture of you guys together or something? I'm dying to see how awkward you look next to her." Clarke jokes.  
  
"Yeah." He finds a photo in his cellphone, showing it to Clarke.  
  
"She's pretty. You look cute together." She mentions, genuinely happy.

Rose is a beautiful latina with brown eyes and thick curly dark hair. In the pic, Wells has his arm around her shoulders, smiling widely.

"Does Brenda know about this?"  
  
"Oh, man, I've actually been waiting to tell her, you know, when she gets here I'll let her know."  
  
Clarke laughs.  
  
"What about you, are you seeing anyone?"  
  
Oh god.  
  
It's time.  
  
With her heart beating quick and her forehead starting to sweat, Clarke smiles as she answers the question. "Actually, yes."  
  
Wells widens his eyes, surprised. "That's amazing! Tell me everything."  
  
"Oh, uhm, we just started dating, it's been six days. We haven't known each other for a long time, but so far everything is going great."  
  
"What does he look like? I gotta know if you still have the same taste you did back in high school." Wells questions, laughing. "Or she, I don't mean to be heteronormative."  
  
Clarke smiles in relief.  
  
"See for yourself." She replies, handing him her phone, opened in a picture of Lexa earlier today, hugging Clarke from behind, with a big smile on her face. Clarke looks truly happy.

Of course Raven took this picture.

Obviously.

Who else would?

Bellamy's nicely shapped butt is in the background, as he grabbed something from the fridge.  
  
"Wow. Pardon my french, but, your girl is fine as hell!  
  
Clarke lets out a laugh. "Yeah, I know."  
  
Wells smiles. "You look adorable together. What's her name?"  
  
"Lexa."  
  
"Nice. We gotta have some double dates or something, she looks fun to be around!"  
  
"Thanks, bro. Rose looks super smart and nice. Just like you." Clarke replies.  
  
"That's like the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Clarke. I'm touched. I'm gonna make sure to tell her that."  
  
And for the first time in almost three years, they laugh together.  
  
-  
  
"So...?" Raven asks, just as she sees Clarke walking inside the huge house. "How did it go?"  
  
"Surprisingly great." Clarke replies, looking a little shocked. "I missed Wells so much and I didn't even notice."  
  
Raven puts on a "Hannibal" mask that she apparently pulled out of thin air and turns back to Clarke.  
  
"I told you it was gonna be amazing, Clarice." She states, with a monotone voice.  
  
"What the fuck! Where did you get this thing?" Clarke asks, a little terrified.  
  
"Ebay, I bought it for halloween. It just arrived."  
  
"So I imagine since you're Hannibal Lecter, then I must be Clarice?"  
  
"Ding, ding, ding! And we have a winner!" Raven jumps around. "I got you a wig and a badge, Agent Starling. It's not here yet but I'll let you know as soon as I get my little hands on it."  
  
"You know when I told you we could wear matching costumes?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"That's quite not what I meant by that." Clarke sits down tiredly on the couch.  
  
"What? Silence Of The Lambs is a classic! Plus, it has Jodie Foster in it!" Raven arguments.  
  
"Take that thing off, it's creeping me out."  
  
Groaning, Raven takes the mask off, laying it down on the coffee table.  
  
"So you're not even gonna think about it?" She pouts.  
  
"Don't pout, Raven, that's not fair."  
  
"Fine! I'll find a better Clarice Starling! I don't need you!"  
  
-  
  
"Woah, who's gonna be dr. Lecter for halloween?" Lexa asks, picking up the mask from the coffee table.  
  
Raven runs to the living room. "That would be me!"  
  
"Nice! Silence Of The Lambs is a classic!"  
  
"I fucking told Clarke that! But she doesn't want to be my Clarice. Since we're talking, would you be interested?"  
  
"Hell yeah!" Lexa exclaims, high-fiving Raven.  
  
Clarke walks down the stairs, looking around suspiciously. "What's going on?"  
  
"I just got my Clarice, bitch!" Raven yells, before running to the kitchen.  
  
"Really, Lexa? Really?"  
  
Lexa looks embarrassed, smiling shyly. "Sorry?"  
  
Clarke sighs.  
  
"It's okay, at least Raven will finally shut up about it. Can I have a kiss?"

"Sure, come and get it."

Clarke grabs the front of Lexa's shirt, pulling her in for a kiss.  
  
At first, it was going to be a quick one, but then they start losing themselves in the kiss and it turns into an entire minute of grabbing necks and scratching backs and little moans.  
  
"Get a room!" Raven interrupts.  
  
They hesitantly part, Clarke looking annoyed.  
  
"So now that Lexa is here, are you going to tell us what went down on the coffee thing with your step-bro?"  
  
"Oh, that. Right."  
  
They all sit down on the couch as Clarke starts rambling about her reunion with Wells.  
  
-  
  
_"Clarke, where are you? I just got home and you're obviously not here!"_ Octavia complains.  
  
"Sorry, boo. I didn't know you'd be there so early, but don't worry, I'll get home as soon as I can." Clarke answers, a little breathless.  
  
_"What the hell are you even doing? Why are you talking like that? Oh my god, Clarke, please tell me I'm not interrupting... things."_  
  
"I'm jogging, Octavia!" She slows down to walking.  
  
_"What? You? Jogging? Did I fall into a pit that somehow took me to some parallel universe in which you actually exercise?"_  
  
"Is it physically impossible for you to shut up?"

Clint's barks make it hard to hear Clarke's voice.  
  
_"Do I hear barks? Okay, now I'm lost. Where are you really, Clarke?"_ Octavia questions, even more confused.  
  
She sighs, "I'm walking Lexa's dog, okay?"  
  
Her friend starts laughing.  
  
"What's funny?"  
  
_"You're not even a month into the relationship and you're already walking her dog? Clarke, you're whipped as fuck."_  
  
"That has nothing to do with anything, O. I like Clint, he's a cute doggy and he happens to like my company, so why the hell would I not want to take him for a walk? I like animals, you know that."  
  
Clarke finally comes to a stop in front of Lexa's door, knocking.  
  
_"Bullshit. You don't walk a people's pets just because you like animals."_  
  
"Can you shut the fuck up for a second? My girlfriend is sick and I offered to take her adorable dog for a walk, since her roommate is already doing everything she can to help her. So forgive me for being a decent human being, will ya?"  
  
It takes a moment for Clarke to realize the door is already open and Anya is just standing there, staring.  
  
"I gotta go, I'll talk to you when I get home. Kay, bye." She mumbles as quickly as she can, before hanging up.  
  
"Hey..." Clarke tries, forcing an awkward smile.  
  
"Just get inside." Anya shakes her head. Clint jumps on her legs.  
  
-  
  
"Octavia just got home, I gotta go see her. I promised I'd be there but I didn't know she'd arrive so soon. I'll be back as quickly as I can, alright?" Clarke mumbles, kneeling down in front of the couch, where Lexa is wrapped in tons of blankets like a human sized burrito.  
  
"It's okay, Clarke, you don't have to come back. It's just my sinusitis acting up, I'll be fine." Lexa manages to say, her eyes looking tired. Nat is curled up close to her legs.  
  
"But if I do come back, we can cuddle and watch your favorite superhero movies... wouldn't that make you feel better?" She gently takes a lock of hair away from Lexa's forehead.  
  
"Yeah..." Lexa hesitantly answers. "But I wouldn't want to take you away from your responsabilities just to make myself feel better."  
  
"I'm totally free today! I don't have any work to do, or videos or anything. And you know, I just happen to want to take care of my sick girlfriend." She insists.  
  
"Now that you mention it, I _was_ planning on binge watching daredevil on netflix..."  
  
"See? I can watch it with you and make you tea and you can tell me all about Matt Murdock and his cute butt." She boops Lexa's nose, which makes her giggle embarrassedly.  
  
"Who knew, you actually pay attention to me when I'm rambling about my nerdy superheroes..."  
  
"Of course I do! They're important to you and they make you happy, so they make me happy as well."  
  
"What did I do to deserve someone as amazing as you?"  
  
"What did _I_ do to deserve someone as _dorky_ as you?" Clarke presses a kiss to Lexa's forehead before getting up. "I'll be back before you know it."  
  
-  
  
"Hey, buttface!" Octavia greets Clarke as she walks inside the house.  
  
"Why, hello, bag of vomit that has been left in the sun for far too long!" She tackles her friend, making her stumble backwards.  
  
"Gross, Clarke!" Octavia tries to push her away.  
  
Clarke lets go, giving her a wet kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Ew!" She whines, wiping her face.  
  
"You're such a cry baby, O." Clarke mumbles, before sitting down on the couch. "So tell me, how were your _super important_ business meetings?"  
  
"Meh, could've been better." Octavia takes a seat next to her friend, resting her head on the girl's shoulder.  
  
-  
  
"So you're basically leaving me alone on my first day back home, to go baby your girlfriend?" She complains.  
  
"You're more than welcome to join us, Octavia." Clarke replies, brushing her hair in front of the mirror.  
  
"I don't know, to be a third wheel? It's not something I enjoy."  
  
"Anya will be there, you know, so basically, you'd be a fourth wheel, if that's even a thing."  
  
"That chick creeps me out."  
  
"Then don't come. Jesus, you're a handful today!" She puts her hairbrush away, turning towards Octavia. "Look, I'm sorry I'm not staying home, okay? In my defense, Lexa has sinusitis, it's not like we're gonna spend five hours making out. And I thought you wanted to hang out with Lincoln, so that's why I didn't even think twice before telling her I'd go back! If you want us all to spend time together, I can call Lexa and ask her if Lincoln can come with you. But being honest, I'm sure she's gonna say yes just to be nice, cause I know she's tired and not up to dealing with so many visitors today." Clarke sighs.  
  
"It's okay, Clarke, I just missed you. I was planning on going out for dinner with Lincoln later, so you were kinda right. Can you just promise we're gonna do something fun tomorrow? Just you and I? -And Raven?" Octavia sits down on Clarke's bed.  
  
"Of course, O! We can have a girl's night. No talking about boyfriends or girlfriends, just the three of us, hanging out, eating junk food and maybe playing some video games? Well, you and Raven can play, I can pretend I'm good at it."  
  
"Yes! That would make me super happy, babe!" She jumps up, attacking Clarke with a hug.  
  
"Great, then it's settled. Tomorrow night. Now I gotta go, okay? Call me if you need anything."  
  
"Alright, alright. We wouldn't want your needy girlfriend to miss you too much, would we?"  
  
"She's not needy! She didn't even want to _inconvenience_ me by asking me to spend time with her!"  
  
"Tell her I said get well soon. Or something like that." Octavia replies, following Clarke downstairs.  
  
"Sure."  
  
-  
  
"Did she eat anything since I left?" Clarke asks Anya, after getting inside.  
  
"Do you honestly think I'd let her spend eight hours on an empty stomach?"  
  
"I don't know, I don't know you that well."  
  
"The correct answer would be: _no, of course not, you're her roommate and you've known her for years! You care about her well being!_ " Anya states, still looking as serious as always, even as she tries to imitate Clarke's voice.  
  
"I don't even sound like that."  
  
"Is Clarke here yet? Who are you talking to?" Lexa's raspy voice echoes through the house.  
  
"She's here!" Anya replies, before walking to her bedroom without saying anything else.  
  
Clarke makes her way to the living room, finding her girlfriend in the same position she left her, but now with Clint added to the mix, with Nat lazily sprawled over him.  
  
"The queen has arrived." Clarke jokes, before quickly pecking Lexa's lips.  
  
"I thought I heard your voice."  
  
"I hope you're not referring to Anya's terrible imitation." She takes her shoes off, before weirdly climbing on the couch, trying to position herself behind Lexa without accidentaly kicking Clint or Nat. "Thank God your couch is bigger than mine."  
  
"Ready?" She asks, finding Daredevil on netflix.  
  
"Did you drink any water? Are you hydrated?"  
  
"Really, Clarke?"  
  
"I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself." Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa.  
  
"I _am_ hydrated. I drank water five minutes ago. Can we start the episode now?" Lexa groans, lightly annoyed.  
  
"Yep." Clarke presses a gentle kiss behind Lexa's ear, making her squirm, trying not to let out any embarrassing sounds.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Anya have an "interesting" talk; Lexa and Clarke are disgusting as usual; Girl's night is different than imagined and that's basically it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda short compared to what I was planning on posting, but I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer, so...  
> Anyway, sorry for the "hiatus", I'm back.
> 
> I didn't like this one that much but as I already mentioned, I didn't want to take any longer before posting it.

"Can't sleep?" Anya asks, sitting tiredly on the armchair, a bottle of water in her hand.

Clarke is just sitting there, on the couch, with Lexa's legs spread over her while the girl sleeps heavily. She sighs.  
  
"To be honest, I don't really want to." Clarke mumbles, looking down.  
  
"Not that I care, but what's the matter?"  
  
"It's just... I was thinking... you know, about the army thing. Lexa's never really talked about it. I don't want to pressure her into telling me things she doesn't feel comfortable mentioning, but still, I just think that if I knew even just a little bit of what she's been through, maybe I'd be able to help her more when she's having bad days, I don't know. I probably sound silly, nevermind." She rants, not really looking at Anya.  
  
"Look, Clarke, it's not news that you're not my favorite person in the world. I mean, I don't really know you, but I have this feeling that you're very annoying. My point is, even though we're not friends, I know Lexa likes you a lot and I know you care about her enough to try to understand her. And I'm grateful for that." Anya interrupts.  
  
She sighs.  
  
"If you ever mention this conversation we're having right now to a living soul, I'm gonna deny it until my last breath, just so you know. But... I was there, you know. With her. I was there when she had her breakdown, I was there when she quit, I was there. I just was. I was her closest and well, only friend. I won't tell you what happened to her, she'll talk to you when and if she's ever ready to. What I will tell you is that it was tough. I swear to god, if you make me regret this, I'm gonna fucking haunt you until the end of your days." Anya keeps talking, forgetting her bottle of water.  
  
Clarke tenses up but then seems to relax afterwards.  
  
"You won't regret it, Anya."  
  
Lexa moves a little, making a cute sound before falling into deep sleep again.  
  
"I didn't want to leave at first. I used to be a specialist. It was everything to me, I dedicated half of my life to training and becoming a good soldier, my dream was to defend my country and, well, just honour my family, really."  
  
Clarke opens her mouth to say something, but is interrupted by Anya.  
  
"No, I'm not Mulan's reincarnation or whatever shit you were about to say. And I'm half tibetan, not chinese."  
  
She closes her mouth. "...Okay."  
  
"As I was saying, I was doing what I've always dreamed of. What I wanted for me. But... when I saw what was becoming of her... I couldn't take it, Clarke. I couldn't just stand there while my best friend, hell, my little sister was clearly in pain. She was destroyed. I didn't even recognize her anymore. I know it was never my responsibility, but I put her first. Fuck, I gave up everything to take care of her. She never asked me to help. Never. But I was the only person she had. I would never forgive myself if I didn't try to stop her from ruining her own life." Anya looks down, getting emotional.  
  
Clarke glances at her, not sure what to feel.  
  
"I left the army with her, I moved in with her, I begged her to get help. She didn't want it. She wanted me to go back, to leave. I stayed. She needed me even though she would never admit. You know about her shit family, Clarke, what would become of her if she was left alone? Once again, I know she wasn't my responsibility. But I knew she'd do the same for me, so I just did whatever I could to try and help her. And, well, I can't really tell you the rest of the story, it's complicated and this is not about me, but what I mean with telling you all of this is that Lexa means a lot to me. I don't regret what I did. In fact, I'd do it all over again if necessary. It turns out that I like writing better than I liked being a soldier. I would never find that out if I hadn't left when I did, so in a way, helping Lexa helped me learn more about myself. We've known each other for over ten years, Clarke. I want her to be happy. God, I might tease her about her nerdy things and call her names but she's my family. I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for my best friend."  
  
"Thank you for telling me all of this. It must have been hard for you."  
  
Anya nods before getting up, grabbing her bottle once again. "Wake her up and get her to the bed or she's going to have a massive headache when she gets up in the morning." And with that, Anya walks away.  
  
It's 2:56 AM.  
  
Clarke does as asked.  
  
-  
  
"Did you get any sleep?" Lexa mumbles, gently scratching Clarke's back.  
  
"A little. Are you feeling better?" She replies, turning over to look at the girl lying down next to her.  
  
"Yeah, I still feel like shit, but I guess you could say I'm a lot better than yesterday."  
  
"I just noticed your voice sounds cute as fuck when you're sick."  
  
"Stop romanticizing my pain," Lexa jokes.  
  
"I'm not! I'm just stating a fact. Oh, I was meaning to tell you something." Clarke slowly pulls Lexa closer, cuddling her.  
  
"What is it?" She questions, before letting out a yawn.  
  
"I'm having a girls night with Octavia and Raven tonight, so I can't take care of my tiny sick girlfriend."  
  
Lexa pouts.  
  
"Don't look at me like that, I can't call it off, I promised O." She adds, tightening her hold on the girl. "I'm sorry, babe."  
  
Lexa gently pushes Clarke away, staring at her with her eyes widened.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Did you just call me babe?"  
  
Clarke facepalms. "Damn. It slipped out. Did you not like it?"  
  
Lexa lies down on top of her girlfriend again, her face pressed against the other girl's chest. "I mean, I'm not much of a fan of pet names... But I kinda liked it coming out of your mouth."  
  
"Aw! Babe!"  
  
"Now you're just making fun of me."  
  
"I'm not! I swear! You're just so... you." Clarke replies, pressing numerous kisses all over Lexa's face, the last one on her lips.  
  
"That's my line!"  
  
"I know, but it applies to you as well, silly."  
  
"You're almost making me forget I'm sick. _Almost_."  
  
"If you keep being so adorable I'm gonna have to kiss the fuck out of you, Lexa."  
  
Lexa giggles. "I look like hell right now, Clarke. I'm not sure how you can be attracted to me in this miserable state."  
  
"Are you fucking kidding me? You look like heaven even though you probably feel like shit. Which is just very unfair because I didn't realise anyone could be so damn attractive even when they're sick." Clarke states, serious, making the other girl blush.  
  
"Stop it."  
  
"Am I supposed to lie, then?"  
  
Lexa twists herself slightly to catch Clarke's lips on her own.  
  
"We're the most disgusting couple I've ever met. I like it."  
  
"Agreed."  
  
Lexa rests her head against the other girl's chest once again. "Did anyone ever tell you your boobs are _very_ comfy? They're probably the best pillows I've ever had."  
  
"Lexa!" Clarke lets out a laugh, followed by her girlfriend.  
  
And after that, she does indeed kiss the fuck out of Lexa.  
  
-  
  
"Finally! I thought you were gonna bail on us!" Raven practically screams, as soon as she sees Clarke.  
  
The girl puts her hands up in surrender. "I'm not even late! I'm twenty minutes early, actually!"  
  
"You know that when we say 7 pm, we mean 6:30, right? Cause you're ten minutes late, in that case." Octavia replies. "Don't forget your sexy outfit." She adds mockingly, throwing Clarke's previously selected clothes in her direction, a shirt with Tina Belcher from Bob's Burgers' silhouette and the word butts written below the image, and sweatpants, obviously.  
  
"Calm your tits, ladies! I'm here, alright?" She bites back, taking her shoes off.  
  
-  
  
_Mother._  
  
"Clarke... your mom is calling..." Octavia mumbles, grabbing her friend's phone from the kitchen table before making her way to the living room, where Clarke and Raven are spread all over the carpet floor, with blankets and pillows basically everywhere. The tv flashes with some random movie that nobody was paying attention to, except for Raven.  
  
Clarke rolls her eyes, groaning. "Do I have to pick it up? I'm kinda busy not watching this movie."  
  
"Your mom never calls, it must be important." Octavia hands her the phone device.  
  
"Raven, give me a hand here." She asks.  
  
"Shh", is all the girl says.  
  
Clarke gives up and calls her mother back, getting up and walking upstairs for some privacy.  
  
_"Hello."_ Abby's voice sounds different than she remembered.  
  
"It's Clarke, mom. Did you want anything?"  
  
_"Oh, Clarke. It's great to hear from you. Yes, in fact. I'm having a big party for the company's newest release next Saturday and I was hoping you could come by. I know you're probably not coming anyway, but it's still worth the effort."_  
  
Clarke takes a deep breath, trying to keep her cool. "I'm sorry, what's wrong with you? You didn't even have the decency to send me a text on my birthday! And now you're inviting me to your stupid company's party?"  
  
_"What? I called you five times but you didn't answer any of them! Is that my fault?"_  
  
"You could well have dropped by for a visit, couldn't you? Oh, right, you were probably too busy with your _new_ family!"  
  
_"I will not stand for this disrespect, Clarke-"_  
  
"Then sit down, mother!"  
  
_"I did not carry you inside my body for nine months for you to talk to me like that."_  
  
"You do know that being a mother is not just giving birth to a human being, right? Because I don't think you can grasp that important piece of information."  
  
_"I'm not looking for a fight, Clarke."_   Abby's voice softens.  
  
"Now that you mention what we're looking for and all that, it's a good thing I'm _not_ looking for a mom, right? Because I clearly wouldn't get one even if asked." Clarke blurts out, angry.  
  
Abby is silent for a moment, before letting out a muffled sob.  
  
"That's- that's not what I-"  
  
_"I'm sorry, Clarke. Something came up."_ She tries to disguise her obvious crying, before hanging up quickly.  
  
Clarke just stands there, in the middle of her bedroom, with her cellphone still pressed to her ear, looking at the wall in shock.  
  
She sighs exhaustively, letting her shoulders drop.  
  
-  
  
"What did your mom want?" Octavia asks, curious, from her spot on the carpet floor.  
  
"She invited me to some stupid party for her company." Clarke mumbles, taking her place next to Raven, who's texting someone and not paying attention to what's going on around her.  
  
"So? Will you show up there?"  
  
"Of course not."  
  
"You know, maybe you should take it a little easier on your mom, don't you think?"  
  
"She abandoned me, Octavia!"  
  
"You know that's not true! Her second marriage doesn't have anything to do with you, Clarke. She didn't just marry Marcus to piss you off. Have you even met the guy? Maybe he's nice! I know you're still mad at her because she left your dad and you've always been such a daddy's girl, but-"  
  
"Can we stop this conversation?"  
  
Octavia frowns. "Alright, then. Sorry. Just trying to see things from Abby's point of view." She raises her hands in surrender.  
  
"The company thing is the same day as Raven's big ass anual Halloween party anyway, so..."  
  
"Oh. Makes more sense now." Octavia glances at Raven, before turning back to Clarke and mumbling, "Is she even aware that we're in the room with her?"  
  
"I don't know." Clarke mumbles back.  
  
"I may not be participating in the conversation but I can still hear you guys." Raven adds. "I just _choose_ not to get involved."  
  
-  
  
"So, we've already stablished that I'm going as Hannibal and Lexa is my Clarice, right?"  
  
"You did say that about fifteen times in the last few hours, so... yes, Raven." Clarke replies, annoyed.  
  
"Are you jealous?"  
  
"Of course not. You're not Lexa's type anyway."  
  
Raven looks offended. "What the hell? What makes you say that?"  
  
"You're a brunette and you're not nearly as cute as me. Basic math."  
  
"What does math have to do with anything?" Octavia questions, groaning.  
  
"I'm with O on that, Clarke. It seems to me that you're just making this up, I mean, I'm clearly the cutest."  
  
"Okay, then, let's call Lexa and we'll see what she says about that, shall we?" Clarke suggests, getting frustrated.  
  
"Not fair! She's _your_ girlfriend!" Raven complains, crossing her arms.  
  
"So?"  
  
"She's gonna pick your side!"  
  
"I'll call her!" Octavia interrupts the discussion. "I'm gonna pretend you two aren't here, alright? So shush and don't start giggling and shit."  
  
"What are we even trying to accomplish with this anyway? I'm obviously right." Clarke mumbles to herself.  
  
Octavia types down Lexa's number on her phone, calling her up and putting on speaker.  
  
"Hey, Lexa?"  
  
_"Hi, Octavia. What's wrong? Weren't you with Clarke?"_ Lexa's voice still sounds a little off because of her sinusitis.  
  
"Actually, I'm pretty late. I was having dinner with Lincoln and yeah, Clarke is probably with Raven, gossiping."  
  
Clarke slaps Octavia's arm.  
  
"Ouch!"  
  
_"What was that?"_  
  
"Oh, nothing, I- I just- uh... nevermind, it's not important."  
  
_"...Okay. What is it that you wanted?"_  
  
Raven tries to muffle her laughter.  
  
"What is your type?" Octavia asks, very straight-forward.  
  
_"Uh... I don't think I understand your question, Octavia."_  
  
"Like, girls. You like girls, what kind of girl do you usually like?"  
  
_"...You do know that I'm dating Clarke, right?"_  
  
"Of course, silly. It's just a... a survey I'm working on."  
  
_"But I thought you were a soccer player-"_  
  
" _Anyway_ , so, would you say your type is girls like Clarke or do you usually go for, like, girls who are a bit more... uh... like Raven? Forget that you're dating Clarke, okay?"  
  
Raven and Clarke have a hard time trying not to make noises with their screeching laughter. Even Octavia almost starts laughing in a moment.  
  
_"I'm still confused... but... what do you mean exactly? Like, if I like blondes or brunettes better? Could you maybe be a little more specific?"_ Lexa questions.  
  
"No, no, like... if you saw two girls at a party... one of them who looked like Clarke and the other who looked like Raven, who would you go for?"  
  
_"None, I have a girlfriend. Is this a test? Are you testing me? I'm not gonna cheat on Clarke, Octavia. I happen to like her very much, okay? Plus, she's the first girlfriend I had in years who actually likes my cat and my dog equally."_  
  
Octavia bursts into laughter. "No! No! It's not a test but you passed anyway!"  
  
"Dammit, Lexa!" Raven complains loudly.  
  
_"What's going on?"_ Lexa questions, clearly confused.  
  
"Sorry, babe! I told Raven she's not your type and she wouldn't let go, so we decided to call you and see for ourselves." Clarke replies, explaining the situation.  
  
_"Oh. It's okay. Well, I wouldn't exactly say she's_ not _my type..."_  
  
"What?"  
  
_"Babe! I'm just being sincere! I don't really have a type. Would I date Raven if I wasn't dating you? Probably not-"_  
  
"Hey!" Raven interrupts.  
  
_"What do you guys want me to say? I'm honestly confused here."_  
  
"I forgive you, Lexa. I was right, bitches! Bow down!" Clarke exclaims, almost accidentally slapping Raven in the face with her unnecessary hand gestures.  
  
_"Clarke!"_ Lexa reprimands.  
  
"What?"  
  
_"Nevermind."_  
  
"Are you feeling better, babe?"  
  
_"A little."_  
  
"Bye, Lexa!" Raven yells. "Feel better soon!" She tries to reach for the phone to hang up.  
  
"Hey! Don't do that! I'm trying to-" Clarke replies, getting distracted by her friend while Octavia is actually the one who manages to get the cellphone and hang up on Lexa. "What the hell!"  
  
"Now, let's talk about the elephant in the room... _babe_?? Are you in a pet name level already?" Raven mentions, ignoring Clarke's frown.  
  
She sighs. "I knew you guys were gonna give me hell for that..."  
  
"You didn't answer the question." Octavia says.  
  
"I accidentally called her babe earlier today. She was surprisingly okay with it, so..."  
  
"You disgust me." Raven jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're gonna find more about Lexa's past soon, don't worry. Also, you guys should start preparing yourselves for Raven's Halloween party cause a lot of shit is gonna happen. Good shit or bad shit, you ask? *evil smile* I can't say.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finally sees her dad; drunk Octavia is slightly scary; Lexa gets pissed at the patriarchy; Raven's Halloween party is... well, read and find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long!! I've been super busy with some shit, but I finally managed to update this story! Yay!

Clarke parks her car and takes a deep breath. After almost three years, she's finally about to see her dad. Jake and Brenda's flight was about to arrive any minute now.   
  
She walks anxiously into the airport, hugging herself in Lexa's cozy Captain Marvel sweater, which, to be honest, was a little large on Clarke.   
  
**Raven:** Are they there yet?  
  
She ignores Raven's text, too lazy and just a bit too nervous to talk to anyone.  
  
About seven minutes waiting -well, more like wandering around and not paying attention to anything or anyone surrounding her, Clarke finally sees Jake and Brenda, the man making sure to hold all of the baggage whilst his wife laughs at something stupid he probably said. The couple doesn't notice Clarke standing there a few feet away, distracted by each other.  
  
"Dad?" She whisper-yells, her voice cracking and with tears starting to wet her eyes.  
  
Jake quickly looks at the source of the sound, smiling huge after seeing his daughter. Brenda giggles at their interaction, quietly taking the baggage from Jake without the man even noticing.   
  
Clarke runs towards her father, who takes steady steps in her direction. She hugs Jake as tightly as she can, with a gigantic smile on her face, and tears running crazily down her cheeks. The man hugs her back, trying to hide how emotional he actually is by saying, "Your old man can't breathe with you hugging him this tight, Clarke."  
  
She lets him go with a laugh, drying her tears away with the sleeve of her sweater.  
  
"I missed you so much, dad!"  
  
"I missed you too, darling. But don't worry, we're going to have plenty of time to catch up."  
  
"Sorry to interrupt the emotional reunion, you two, but Clarke, don't you miss your cool step-mom as well? Even just a little bit? I'm feeling a little ignored here..." Brenda adds, stopping next to Jake.  
  
"Oh my god, Brenda! Of course I missed you!" Clarke mentions genuinely, wrapping the woman into a hug. "You look great!"  
  
"Thank you, dear. You turned into a lovely young lady."  
  
"I'm sorry Wells couldn't make it, I'm sure he would've loved to be here right now. But you know how adults are... always working, right?"  
  
Brenda smiles fondly, letting out a tiny laugh. "It's okay, he's helping us unpack later."  
  
"Oh, would you guys like me to come help too?" Clarke asks, grabbing one of the baggages and walking the "old" couple towards the parking lot.  
  
"Are you sure you're not busy? You know you don't have to, right?" Jake replies, opening the car trunk.  
  
"I mean, Lexa and I were gonna have a double date with Lincoln and Octavia but I'm sure we can reschedule it..."  
  
"What? Absolutely not! Go to your date! Have fun! Where's the fun in helping old people open boxes? You can come over tomorrow and help with the rest of the stuff if you're so interested in hanging out with this dynamic duo of elders!" Brenda protests, helping put the luggage inside Clarke's car.  
  
"For goodness sake, Brenda, you're fifty-two, not a hundred and twenty!" Jake complains.  
  
Clarke giggles.  
  
"But I agree with her, darling, you're already helping us way too much by giving us a ride. So... it seems things are going well with you and your girl, huh?"  
  
"Dad! She's not _my girl_."  
  
"Well, her sweater begs to differ..."  
  
"How the hell did you know it's hers?"  
  
"You hate comic books! I've always tried to get you into it since you were a kid! And you're wearing a Captain Marvel sweater -which, by the way, I have one just like that somewhere in my luggage- I think Lexa and I are going to get along really well. Anyway, I just did the math."  
  
Clarke closes her car trunk. "That's kinda creepy, dad. But I admire your knowledge." She teases. "What if I had somehow gotten into comics and this had nothing to do with my girlfriend, though?"  
  
"You would've told me, dum-dum!"  
  
"Kids! Stop arguing and get in! Let's go have breakfast in one of those clearly unhealthy restaurants!" Brenda yells from the backseat of the car.  
  
"When did you even get in the car?" Clarke exclaims, confused, but obeying. "Do you even know how to drive around Los Angeles?"  
  
"Have you ever heard of something called a gps?" She teases.  
  
Jake laughs from the front seat. "This is why I married Brenda, Clarke. Take notes."  
  
-  
  
"So? How was it?" Lexa asks from her seat on the floor, her back resting against the couch, while Nat is sprawled over her lap and Raven is lying down on the sofa, with her legs all over the place.  
  
Clarke closes the door behind her and takes a deep breath.   
  
"You okay there, dude?" Raven questions, noticing the weird look on Clarke's face. "Oh god, no. No, please, no."  
  
"What? What's wrong?"  
  
"She's gonna cry." She sits down, tapping the space next to her. "Come here, Clarke, you beautiful blobfish."  
  
A second later, Clarke does indeed start crying. Lexa gaps, shocked at Raven's correct assumption.   
  
"I'm sorry, I'm very emotional today. I'm probably about to get my period."  
  
She takes a seat next to Raven, who hugs her from the side. Lexa gently caresses Clarke's legs.  
  
"It's okay, I just don't like to see you sad."   
  
"I'm not sad, Raven. These are happy tears."  
  
"Well, if that's the case, then I'm gonna go now, okay? Your pretty girlfriend is gonna take care of you while I go... do... things. I'm getting late on purpose because I wanted to make sure you were alright. See how much I care about you? You better be grateful, bitch." The girl gets up.  
  
"Fuck off." Clarke blurts out, laughing while drying her tears away.  
  
"Raven, just go already, you're annoying the beast."  
  
"Babe!" Clarke pouts.  
  
"Aw, sorry, love." Lexa sits down next to her girlfriend, pulling her into a hug.  
  
"You two make me wanna throw up."   
  
"Dammit, Raven! Just get out already!"  
  
"Fine! Bye, lovebirds!" Raven slams the door shut.  
  
"She's going on a date with that dude from the support group. You do know that, right?"  
  
"Ooh, nice! Wait, she didn't tell me?" She pushes Lexa away. "What the hell? Did she tell you?"  
  
"Well, yes..."  
  
Clarke frowns, making that face again.   
  
_Think fast, Lexa._  
  
"Just messing with you, babe, she didn't tell me anything. Wick was the one who told me." She pulls her girlfriend back to her arms.   
  
"Oh. Okay, then. She's probably trying to play it cool."  
  
Nat climbs on top of the coffee table, staring at Lexa judgingly.   
  
"Stop it!" She mouths. "I'm just trying to make her feel better!"  
  
"Lexa?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Did you say anything?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
-  
  
Octavia screeches. "Why the fuck is there a demon cat in the sink?! Who the fuck allowed this to happen??"  
  
"Calm down, O. It's just a kitty." Lincoln replies, making his way towards Nat, who's just making her usual bitch face. "Come here, kitty." He grabs the cat, who weirdly seems to enjoy his presence.  
  
Clarke walks into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. "What?"  
  
"Who is this demon and why was it in _my_ sink?"  
  
"Octavia! Sorry, Clarke, she's a little drunk."   
  
Octavia trips on her own feet and starts laughing, then getting distracted by her own reflection on the window.  
  
"Scratch that, she's very drunk."  
  
He hands the cat to Clarke.  
  
"This is Nat. She's Lexa's cat."  
  
Octavia starts laughing once again.  
  
"Nat, the cat. It rhymes. Goddamit, it rhymes."   
  
"Hi there, Nat!" Lincoln mumbles, gently scratching the kitty's head. "She's lovely."  
  
"What? She's definitely not lovely! That monster almost bit my face off!" Octavia yells.  
  
"Well, you probably scared her with all that anger in your system..." Clarke interrupts, getting a little defensive.  
  
"The fuck did you just say to me?" Octavia blurts out, visibly irritated. She steps towards Clarke, who flinches.  
  
"Okay, it's your sleepy time." Lincoln grabs Octavia by the legs, taking her away from her friend. "Goodnight, Clarke. Sorry about her."  
  
"Goodnight, Lincoln." Clarke puts Nat down and turns off the lights, making her way back to her bedroom.  
  
Lexa is half-awake.  
  
"What's going on?" She mumbles sleepily.  
  
"Octavia is drunk, but Lincoln's got it handled."  
  
"Oh. Alright. Are you okay?"  
  
Clarke spoons her girlfriend. "Yeah." She kisses Lexa's shoulder. "I'm alright."  
  
-  
  
"Sorry I went crazy on you last night." Octavia smiles embarrassedly.  
  
"No problem. Just... don't do that again. You know I have a hard time dealing with violence."  
  
"Did I-?"  
  
"No, no, don't worry. You didn't hurt me. You didn't do anything, really. You know I tend to make a big deal out of nothing."  
  
"No, Clarke. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry either way. I wasn't having a good day and I clearly drank more than I should. That doesn't excuse my behavior, I know that, but thankfully Lincoln was there and things didn't get worse. I promise that's not going to happen again."  
  
"Thanks, O. I love you, you know that, right?"  
  
"Of course. I love you too."  
  
Clarke pulls Octavia into a hug.  
  
-  
  
"Let me just start this video with this question: why are women's costumes so sexualized? Don't answer that, I know exactly why." Lexa says, looking annoyed.  
  
"Smash the patriarchy!" She yells at the camera.  
  
"The girls and I went shopping for some halloween costumes the other day for Raven's bigass annual party... How pissed off did I get? Can anyone guess that right? First example, the sexy ladybug. Sexy ladybug?? Ladybugs are insects, for fucks sake! They're not supposed to be sexy! Who came up with this? Sexy nun? Seriously?? Does anyone buy costumes like these? Nothing against the girls who like to wear that kind of stuff, your body, your rules, but what about some more options for the girls who are not comfortable dressing like that? Also, did anyone consider it's fucking cold and I don't want to walk around in a bikini disguised as a costume? But by far, the most disturbing thing I had the misfortune of finding was the "Sexy girl scout". What the actual fuck?? Message to anyone who is designing those awful costumes: Stop sexualizing young girls and encouraging pedofilia! What the fuck is wrong with you? Did you have shit for breakfast?"  
  
Lexa takes a deep breath.  
  
"I had already chosen my costume beforehand, so I had time to just look around and do some "research". Anyway, I'm getting shocked and more shocked each year that comes by.   
  
The point of this video, besides talking shit about the sexualization of most women's costumes is to tell you guys to enjoy your halloween, make good choices, be careful, and most importantly, dress the way you want! If you like sexy costumes, great for you, go for it! If you don't, don't be afraid to come up with your own costume if you don't find anything interesting, just don't feel pressured to dress in a way that makes you uncomfortable.   
  
For the guys, if you see some shit going on, don't stay quiet! If you see a dude slip something into someone's drink, fucking call him out! Alert the victim! Help the victim! And that's not only for halloween, that's for you to take as a rule for life!  
  
_But Lexa, what about the girls? Do they pretend not to see it, then?_ Of course not! You help the victim anyway! But my point is: girls usually know to help other girls in situations like that, it's already in our system to watch out for each other, since we unfortunately have to know how to live in this violent world of ours. That's why my focus here is mostly on alarming guys to do that as well. If you stay quiet, if you pretend not to see, if you pretend it doesn't have anything to do with you, then you're helping the criminals.  
  
Anyway, this is getting too long, I need to end the video here. Stay cool."  
  
-  
  
The time has come. Raven's badass annual Halloween party is about to start. Well, technically, it has already started, since Raven is already drinking and bossing around while Octavia is being stubborn.  
  
"I didn't have time to buy a costume, okay?"  
  
"Seriously? You had time to go to fucking disneyland with Lincoln but you didn't have time to buy a stupid costume?" Clarke butts in, annoyed.  
  
 "Don't act like you're better than me, Clarke, mouse ears are not a costume!"  
  
"Do you seriously don't know I'm Karen from Mean Girls?? Oh my god. I need to get some air, I can't believe this." Clarke barks, clearly stressed. She walks towards the backdoor.  
  
"Someone needs to take a chill pill..." Octavia whispers.  
  
"Shut your hole, Blake!"  
  
"Just put on your soccer uniform, I don't know, but what the hell, you're not gonna be one of those basic bitches who don't even make the effort to put on a costume, O. Not in my party."  
  
"That's it! I can be a basic bitch!"  
  
"Basic bitch is not a costume!" Raven yells through her Hannibal mask, which is a little terrifying, to say the least.  
  
"Fine! I'm driving back home to get my uniform, dammit."   
  
"Now we're talking!"  
  
-  
  
"Who am I, Lexa? And if you get this wrong we can't date anymore."  
  
"Amanda Seyfried in Mean Girls, right? Like, the mouse costume she wore in it. But I dare say, you look a lot better than her."  
  
"We're gonna be together forever!" Clarke jumps into Lexa's arms, making her laugh.  
  
The door bell interrupts their moment.  
  
"Can you get that for me, guys? I'm kinda busy right now." Raven asks, talking on the phone.  
  
"Sure thing." Clarke replies, walking towards the door.  
  
It's a guy wearing a Freddy Krueger costume, which means his face is, well, not visible.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Hi! You're Freddy Krueger!"  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"But who are you really? I think I recognize your voice, do we know each other?"  
  
He takes off the hat and the mask. "Sorry, yeah, I know you guys from the support group. Wick." Wick shakes Clarke's hand.  
  
"Oh, right! Wick! Nice to see you here! Your costume looks great, by the way. Come on in!"  
  
Wick walks inside. "Thanks, Clarke. Yours looks great too, Mean Girls is a classic."  
  
She gasps. "Oh my god! Yes!"  
  
He lets out a laugh before greeting Lexa and the rest of the people already inside.  
  
"So?" Lexa asks Clarke, after Wick is gone. "Do you think he's good enough for Raven?  
  
"He's nice, and recognized my costume, but to pass the ultimate test, I have to see how he behaves when he's with her."  
  
"You're good at this thing, but we're not going to spend the entire party stalking Raven and her crush, right?"  
  
"Of course not. Come on, I can't see them from here."  
  
Lexa stares at Clarke with a "are you actually serious?" face.   
  
"I'm kidding, babe. Don't worry."  
  
"Thank God, we wouldn't make good spies."  
  
"Why is that?"  
  
"Because I keep getting distracted with you in this dress and you keep staring at my boobs when you think I'm not noticing."  
  
-  
  
Bellamy is dressed as Thor. Yes, you read right. Thor, the nordic god of thunder. Oh, and he's in a blonde wig.   
  
When Octavia sees him, she laughs so hard she literally pees herself. But to be fair, she's not the only one.  
  
"I'm feeling very judged right now." He mumbles to Lexa, who's doing her best to try not to laugh.   
   
"Want my advice?"   
  
He nods.   
  
"Lose the wig. You make a good Thor, believe me, but the wig is making it a little hard not to laugh. Blonde hair is not for you."  
  
"Thanks, I guess."  
  
-  
  
2:26 A.M. The place is crowded as fuck. It's hard to walk without pushing people. The music is loud and everyone seems to be having a good time.  
  
2:27 A.M. Clarke, Raven, Lexa, Wick, Anya, Octavia and Lincoln dance. Bellamy is having drinks at the bar with Monty, Jasper and Monroe. It's still pretty fucking crowded.  
  
2:28 A.M. A guy dressed as The Joker bumps violently into Clarke from behind. Lexa yells at him, demanding the dude to apologize. He pushes Lexa. Clarke is about to start a fight with him but then she sees his face. FUCK.   
  
2:40 A.M. The party is over. People are scared. Clarke is crying while Raven holds her and tries not to start sobbing. Octavia is standing in front of them. Bellamy waits for the police to arrive. Anya helps Lexa wash her bloody fists on the restroom sink. She's crying and her eyes are red. There are cuts on her face.  
  
2:42 A.M. The police finally arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter this Friday! Also, please don't kill me!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What really happened at the party and some other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long for the millionth time, I'm still pretty busy but I'm trying my best to keep writing, so I hope you guys like this chapter anyway.
> 
> Oh, you get a little snippet of Lexa's past. 
> 
> TW: violence

About 15 minutes earlier...  
  
The Joker pushes Clarke, who bumps her forehead on Lincoln's chin.  
  
"Hey! What the fuck, dude? Ever heard of manners? You hurt her!" Lexa yells, after making sure her girlfriend is alright.  
  
"Don't fucking talk to me!" He yells back, getting close to her. The guy pushes Lexa, who falls to the floor. Lincoln jumps in to defend her, but Anya is faster, helping her get up.  
  
Clarke stands in front of her, shielding Lexa from the Joker. She's about to push him back, but then she actually sees his face.  
  
"Finn?"  
  
"Clarke!" Finn smiles huge.  
  
Clarke starts feeling dizzy and looks around.  
  
"Get Clarke out of here." Lexa mumbles to Anya.  
  
"What are you talking about? What's going on?"  
  
"Get her out of here!" She yells.  
  
"Lexa, don't-" Clarke tries to say, but Finn pulls her hair.  
  
Lexa jumps on him, making the guy lose balance and let go of her girlfriend's hair.  
  
Anya pulls Clarke away from the fight. Lincoln hands his cellphone to Octavia.  
  
"Call the police while I try to stop this."  
  
She nods.  
  
Wick holds Raven, who's already crying.  
  
Lexa punches Finn on the face. He tries to do the same, but she evades. She hits his stomach, and then elbows his back, making him fall down.  
  
Lexa turns Finn over so that he's lying on his back. She climbs on top of him, punching him once more.  
  
He tries to fight back but Lexa doesn't give him much of a chance.  
  
"Lexa!" Clarke yells.  
  
She keeps punching him.  
  
Lincoln tries to pull Lexa away from the very bloody guy, but she elbows him on the face.  
  
Taking advantage of her little distraction, Finn scratches Lexa's face, enough to make some blood drops stain her cheek.  
  
She hits him again. And again. And again. And again.  
  
That goes on for a while.  
  
People are staring, some disgusted, some horrified, some just scared.  
  
At that point, Finn is visibly knocked out.  
  
"Lexa, that's enough! He's already unconscious!"  
  
She goes back to punching Finn. Lincoln looks around, not sure if he should try to stop her again.  
  
"Lexa, stop!" Clarke keeps yelling.  
  
She hits him again. And again. And again.  
  
-  
  
_"Lexa, stop!"_  
  
_Lexa opens her eyes, finding herself choking Costia._  
  
_"What's going on?" She breathes out, letting go. "What's going on?"_  
  
_Costia sits up._  
  
_"What's going on?" Lexa starts sobbing. "What's going on?"_  
  
_Costia tries to pull her into a hug, but Lexa stands up and steps away._  
  
_"I hurt you." She mumbles, still crying desperately. "What's going on?"_  
  
-  
  
"What's going on?" Lexa whispers, with her fists already covered in blood, part of it being hers.  
  
-  
  
_"Fireworks, Lexa. Just fireworks."_  
  
-  
  
Clarke is crying on the floor, while Raven holds her.  
  
Bellamy, who had been watching the whole scene frozen in shock, finally approaches Lexa and squats down next to the girl.  
  
"You okay there, champ?" He mumbles quietly, ignoring everyone's horrified looks.  
  
Lexa shakes her head no.  
  
"Can I help you up?"  
  
"Yeah." She replies, her voice shaking. Lexa's eyes are almost empty, as if she wasn't even there.  
  
Bellamy calmly helps the distressed girl stand up.  
  
The room is awkwardly quiet.  
  
Anya joins them.  
  
"Come on, let me clean you up, we can deal with this later."  
  
Bellamy and Anya exchange worried looks.  
  
Lincoln approaches Finn's unscounscious and very bloody body.  
  
"Son of a bitch." He whispers.  
  
Sirens go off. It appears that the police has finally arrived. Unfortunately, so has the press.  
  
Bellamy tries to explain the problem to the police, while everyone not involved in it start leaving the place.  
  
Some papparazzi and reporters get as close as possible to the scene as officers try to control the situation.  
  
It's a mess.  
  
Less than five minutes later, Clarke is being questioned, as well as Raven, Lexa and, well, basically everyone still at the scene.  
  
-  
  
"Miss Woods, are you sure you don't need medical assistance?"  
  
"Yes, I am positive, sir."  
  
"I believe you understand that you're most likely going to be called to court when Mr. Collins' trial happens."  
  
"Yes, sir. That's what I was hoping for."  
  
"Off the record, cut it out with the "sir". I've known you for years, there's no need for that."  
  
"Well, you're still calling me miss Woods, aren't you?"  
  
"I don't think you understand what's happening, Lexa."  
  
"Don't I? Enlighten me, then."  
  
"You lost control. You almost killed a dude. Yes, a disgusting criminal, but still. I'm worried about you."  
  
"I don't need your worry, Gustus."  
  
Gustus shakes his head.  
  
"Get some rest. Call me if you need anything. I'll keep you updated on what happens to the pile of shit there."  
  
"Thank you, Gustus."  
  
-  
  
"Clarke, I-" Lexa starts, sitting down next to her still pretty shaken girlfriend.  
  
"Please, Lexa, don't try to talk to me right now."  
  
"But, babe-"  
  
"I can't do this right now. Please, you have to understand." Clarke spits out, her hands covering her face.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm gonna go. But you do know that if you need me you can just give me a call and I'll be next to you in less than a second, right?"  
  
"I do. I do know. I'm sorry too. I just need some time to think, okay? He's finally gone."  
  
"Yeah, I get that." She stands up, gives Clarke a light kiss on the forehead and walks away.  
  
-  
  
Lexa cries herself to sleep.  
  
-  
  
Clarke, Raven and Octavia sleep in the same room, after spending hours not knowing how to feel.  
  
-  
  
_"A fun party turned into horror last night in Los Angeles. Known as the queen of social media, Raven Reyes, among other youtubers, suffered a pretty traumatic event when Reyes' rapist and shooter, Finn Collins, who had been wanted by the police for over three years, showed up at the woman's Halloween party. Clarke Griffin, youtuber and best friends with Reyes, and who has also been assaulted by the same man, allegedly got harrassed by him at the party, starting the whole situation. According to sources, Griffin was at the dance floor when everything happened. Lexa Woods, another youtuber, was also spotted at the scene, and to quote one of the witnesses, 'She and Collins engaged into a huge fight, resulting on him getting knocked out.' We tried contacting Reyes and her friends, but got no response."_  
  
-  
  
**@LexaWoods:** To everyone who has been asking me about what happened last night, please stop. I don't want to talk about it.  
  
**@LexaWoods:** What you need to know is that I'm okay and so are Clarke, Raven and everyone involved. The motherfucker is locked up.  
  
**@LexaWoods:** Truth be told, I wouldn't have needed to beat the crap out of him if the police had done their job when they were supposed to.  
  
**@LexaWoods:** I know I could've dealed with the situation a lot better but please, shut up, I don't need your opinion on the matter.  
  
-  
  
"How are you feeling, darling?" Brenda asks, handing Clarke a mug of capuccino.  
  
Jake is sitting next to his daughter at the table.  
  
"I'm still a little scared because of everything that happened but I'm gonna be okay. Don't worry, guys." She takes a sip of her drink.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jake inquires.  
  
"Not really. It was just... everything happened so fast and I was screaming at Lexa and she just kept hitting him and... nobody knew what to do. Next thing I know, I'm being questioned by the cops."  
  
"I know how you feel about violence, Clarke, but I have to say, if I was in Lexa's place, I'd probably have done the same thing. What that bastard did to you and Raven is... fuck, I can't even put into words. He deserved every punch he got. I hope he spends the rest of his miserable life in prison."  
  
"I know that, dad. It's just that... I had never seen her like that before, I don't know..." Clarke mumbles, looking into her almost empty mug.  
  
"Do you think she's capable of hurting you? Is that it?"  
  
"What? No! Of course not. I know Lexa would never do anything to harm me in any way, she's never been aggressive towards me, but... it scared me. I know it's silly, it was just as if I didn't know who she was anymore."  
  
"Do you know what adults do when they have problems with each other, dear?" Brenda starts. "They talk it out. You can't just push her away because of what you felt in that moment. It's normal for you to be scared, but don't let that ruin what you girls have. Talk to her, tell her how you feel. I'm sure she has some things to say as well."  
  
"I know, Brenda. Thank you."  
  
-  
  
_"Youtuber Lexa Woods beats up rapist wanted by the police in Halloween party last night."_  
  
-  
  
_"With rapist finally arrested, Raven Reyes speaks out about the incident that resulted on her disability."_  
  
-  
  
"Clarke and I pressed charges against him over three years ago! And it wasn't until he got into my own house and harrassed my friends that he was finally put behind bars."  
  
"How do you feel about the fight he had with Lexa Woods? How did that happen? How did a girl manage to knock out a guy that had been wanted by the police for so long? Did none of the men do anything?" The interviewer inquires.  
  
"First of all, that's sexist. Lexa is a war veteran, just so you know. She's a good fighter, alright? Also, just because the guys didn't interfere in the fight that much, it doesn't mean they didn't do anything. I just feel like this question sucks so much that I don't even know how to answer it. If you excuse me, our time is up."  
  
-  
  
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I can reschedule this trip, Lexa." Anya insists, observing her friend wrapped up in a thick blanket in her bed.  
  
"I'm sure, Anya. Please, you've already done so much for me, I can deal with this alone for once."  
  
She sighs. "Alright, then."  
  
"I love you, big sis." Lexa replies.  
  
"I love you too." Anya whispers.  
  
"Sorry, what was that? Did you say anything?"  
  
"I love you too!" She whispers a little louder.  
  
"Hm, no, I still can't hear you."  
  
"I said I love you too, you asshat!"  
  
"Oh, now I can hear it. Yeah, I know, Anya. Have a safe flight."  
  
Anya shakes her head in annoyance.  
  
-  
  
Lexa is cuddling with Clint and Nat in front of the television when the bell rings.  
  
It's 7 pm.  
  
She opens the door and finds Clarke looking vulnerable.  
  
"Oh, hi."  
  
Lexa is surprised by a hug.  
  
"I'm sorry I tried to push you away."  
  
"I'm sorry I got so violent, it's just..." She sighs. "I have to tell you something. Come on." Lexa guides Clarke to the couch and they sit down.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"You know when I left the army?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"I had PTSD."  
  
Clarke nods in understanding.  
  
"But that's not all. Hm... I- Back in high school I had this girlfriend, her name was Costia." Lexa sighs again.  
  
"You don't need to tell me anything if you don't feel comfortable, Lexa."  
  
"No, I have to tell you this. Just listen. Costia and I were together for about... I don't even remember anymore but it was a long time. When I left the army, we were still together.  
I didn't know about my ptsd then. I won't get into a lot of details because I don't like talking about it but, uh, fireworks. Then I was strangling her. And it happened a lot of times. And I didn't know what was going on."  
  
Clarke takes Lexa's hand into her own.  
  
"Costia insisted that I should get help but I didn't want to. It made me feel weak. As if I didn't have control over my own body anymore. I didn't want that. I thought that if I got help, I would be admitting that I was weak."  
  
Nat climbs on her lap.  
  
"Anyway, Anya tried to help me too but once again I refused. Then Costia broke up with me. Told me we would never get back together unless I got better. So after a little while, I did. I had therapy for some time and when I felt like I was finally " _fixed_ ", I looked for Costia. Turns out she was already dating someone else. I spiraled out of control and... I got arrested for vandalism. I damaged public property. Ugh, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Lexa."  
  
"I met Gustus and explained everything to him, which led him into telling me about the support group. So, yeah, I joined the group and three years later I met you."  
  
Clarke nods once again in understanding, tightening her hold on Lexa's hand.  
  
"I swear, Clarke, I took anger management classes along with therapy and I worked so hard to get better. It's still difficult for me sometimes but I'm mostly fine, you know? I hardly ever have incidents like that."  
  
"I know, babe."  
  
"But when I saw that monster... I had to do something, Clarke. And the only thing I knew how to do was fight, which is what I did. I know you hate violence and I know it can be a trigger for you, but I still did what I did and for that I am truly sorry. I promise you I'm gonna try my best to never make you go through that again. I am not sorry for him, however. He deserved it, but I apologize to you. I apologize for not being there for you in the way you really needed me to be."  
  
"Thank you. I accept your apology."  
  
"All I know is that I _didn't_ know what to do and that scared me. Then I scared you and I spent the night crying my eyes out because I thought I screwed it up. I love you and I thought I had ruined that. I let my emotions take over me and that's what happened." Lexa vents, looking away.  
  
"Wait."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You love me? Did you say that?"  
  
She takes a deep breath. "I said that, didn't I? Oh man... Yes, I did say that. I love you."  
  
Clarke smiles warmly. "That's good."  
  
"Is it?"  
  
"Yes, because I love you too. It'd be embarrassing if you didn't feel the same."  
  
"Oh, thank god." Lexa smiles back before pulling her girlfriend into a tight hug.  
  
"I think I started falling for you when I saw you complaining about Octavia's sex noises."

"I love my dorky girlfriend."

"And I love mine."


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls deal with the aftermath of Finn's arrest; Jake wants to meet Lexa; you know how it is, things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's been a very long time. I won't even get into details but I was having a pretty bad time in my life so I decided to stop updating this fic for a while. That being said, I started writing again, so yeah, I'm gonna start updating regularly now. Thank you for the patience. 
> 
> Oh, and I apologize cause most of this chapter is very dialogue heavy, but I promise I'll try to be a better writer.

"I'm sorry, what?" Raven questions in shock, running her fingers through her hair.  
  
"Ugh, I knew you'd get like this, I shouldn't have mentioned it."   
  
Clarke paces around the living room, her cellphone in hand.  
  
"Clarke! That's like, a really big deal!"  
  
"I know, okay?" She sits down next to her friend on the couch.  
  
"You've been dating for what, a month? Are you sure you're not being a little precipitated? That's kinda creepy, dude."  
  
"Raven!"  
  
"What? I'm just saying! I'd be at least a little confused if my, hm... pretty new girlfriend told me she loved me, I don't know why you're not freaking out about this. I mean, it's a little weird, let's be real here." Raven crosses her arms over her chest.  
  
Clarke sighs tiredly.  
  
"It's not that weird."  
  
"Griffin, tell me about your feelings."  
  
"Why?" Clarke groans, defensively.   
  
She lifts her hands in surrender.  
  
"Okay, you don't have to! It's just that I don't know if it's even scientifically possible for a person to love another after having only known them for such a short amount of time. You know I'm a slut for facts, Clarke."  
  
Clarke sighs one more time, before resting her head on her friend's shoulder.  
  
"I know. Look, the thing is, even if it isn't love, yet, it's still something strong that I can't explain, alright? So yeah, she called it love, so I called it love as well."  
  
"That's called infatuation."  
  
"Raven! You're sorta acting like an ass right now."  
  
"Sorry! I can't help it. But fine, if you think you love each other, that's great. Amazing for you. It's just that I don't want you to get hurt, alright? I'm worried you're gonna end up getting your heart broken, that's all. I like Lexa, I really do, she's a very cool chick, but you're still my best friend. I kind of have to look out for you."  
  
Clarke softly elbows Raven on the ribs.  
  
"Aw, you love me."  
  
"Ugh, you're so frustrating!"  
  
Clarke wraps her friend in a tight hug.  
  
"Thank you, best friend." She teases. "But I promise you I know how to take care of myself."  
  
"You're welcome." Raven sighs. "I believe you."  
  
-  
  
Clarke turns on her camera and stares at it. Just stares at it.  
  
After a while, she takes a deep breath and finally looks alive.  
  
"It took me a long time to get myself emotionally ready to talk about this", she says.  
  
"Three years ago, I went through a... pretty traumatic event. You might have heard about it in the news. Raven and I tried our best to keep this personal and not to cause a scandal but you know how hard that is, especially because of the kind of people we are. We're entertainers, so... yeah, it's hard to keep things from the public eye."  
  
Clarke stops talking, looking away for a moment. She uncomfortably shifts on her seat.  
  
"But you know what?"  
  
She looks back into the camera.  
  
"It's finally over. Finn Collins was taken into police custody two nights ago."  
  
The girl breathes deeply.  
  
"I mean, technically, I'm still gonna have to testify against him soon. But at least I know I won't have to go through that alone. Raven and I talked and we decided we needed some closure. So I'm making this video and she's gonna make hers. We didn't do it together cause we really wanted it to be as personal as possible, and even though we went through that shit together, our situations are still pretty different."  
  
Clarke crosses her legs. Then uncrosses, only to cross them again, anxious.  
  
"You know, I used to feel guilty for how bad I felt because, well, Raven got the worst of it, so... yeah, I thought it wasn't fair for me to be sad when she went through a lot more shit than I did, but- but with time, I started learning that every person deals with theirs problems differently. Pain is relative, and just because there are people who have it worse than me, that doesn't erase my right to feel bad."  
  
She looks down at her hands.  
  
"That man, he- what he did is unforgivable. And I'm probably gonna have nightmares for the rest of my life."  
  
She gulps, before looking directly into the camera.  
  
"But I bet he looks ugly as fuck in orange."  
  
Clarke smiles.  
  
"So good luck in prison, bitch."   
  
-  
  
**Lexa (7:12pm):** everybody's been asking me to make a video talking about what happened at the party, is it okay if I do that? Don't worry, I won't go into details, but if you're still not comfortable with that, just say the word.  
  
**Clarke (7:13pm):** do it, i don't mind.  
  
**Lexa (7:13pm):** you sure?  
  
**Clarke (7:14pm):** yeah, don't worry about it. See you later?  
  
**Lexa (7:15pm):** Definitely.  
  
-  
  
Lexa cracks her knuckles after starting the video.  
  
"If you don't know me, I'm Lexa Woods. You know, the one that people are talking about."   
  
She closes her eyes tightly.  
  
"That sounded a little cocky."  
  
Rolling her eyes, Lexa keeps talking.  
  
"Whatever. A lot of people have been asking me to talk about what happened at Raven's party, so I'm gonna do you this favor and tell you my side of the story."  
  
She takes a deep breath before continuing.  
  
"Alright. I was dancing with my friends and that dude just came out of nowhere and pushed Clarke. Then he picked a fight with me. But that was before I found out he was who he was. When that happened, he started pulling Clarke's hair and, well, I started punching him and-" She shows her hands to the camera, the right one wrapped in bandages and the left with a few cuts and bruises. "Yeah, I kinda lost myself there."  
  
"I accidentaly hit my friend who was trying to help and, basically, I had a little breakdown. Also, I managed to scare my friends away from me. Wow, good one, Lexa." She shakes her head in annoyance.  
  
"But you know what? I don't regret it. He had it coming. He deserved much more than what he got. So yeah, that's it. It's not really that complicated of a situation. I'm not gonna get into details about what he did to Clarke and Raven because that's not my story to tell. They just posted a video each about their experience, so go watch that. But yeah, I should've punched him harder."  
  
She looks away from the camera for a second, in thought, before turning it off.  
  
-  
  
Raven dials Lexa's number and lies down on her bed.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hi, Lexa. It's Raven."  
  
"Yeah, I have your number, silly. What's up?"  
  
Raven rolls around on the bed, trying to get comfortable.  
  
"Since we're all having pretty intense days because of what happened, I thought we could all get together here and film a fun video. What do you think?"  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
"Great. Can you come over later? Clarke and Octavia are already here. I'm also gonna invite Lincoln and Bellamy because, you know, the more the merrier, right?"  
  
Someone knocks on the door.  
  
"Sure, no problem."  
  
"Okay, I gotta go now."  
  
"Alright, see you later."  
  
"See you later." She hangs up. "Come in."  
  
Octavia walks inside, with Clarke behind her.  
  
"Who were you talking to?" She wiggles her eyebrows teasingly.  
  
"Shut up, I was talking to Lexa."  
  
"Oh. Alright, then. Did she agree to come?" Clarke replies, taking a spot next to Raven on the bed.  
  
"Do I even have to answer? If I asked her to come with me to hell she'd probably say yes if I told her you'd be there."  
  
Octavia nods, mumbling a "true".  
  
-  
  
"What's up, viewers? I'm Raven Reyes and today I'm here with my friends Lexa, Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia and Lincoln." Raven starts, motioning at everyone around her - she's between Clarke and Bellamy - sitting on cushions in the living room floor.  
  
They say their quick greetings and Raven goes back to explaining the video.  
  
"We're gonna play a game I just heard about. It's called paranoia and we've never played it before, so... sorry if it goes terribly wrong."  
  
"Okay, so we have to sit in a circle, but we're not gonna do that because then there would be people not facing the camera and, well, I don't want that to happen. So yeah, next best thing, we're in a half-circle, as you can obviously see." She keeps talking.  
  
Clarke rests her head on Lexa's shoulder.   
  
Bellamy is looking warmly at Raven as Lincoln tries to pay as much attention to the instructions as possible. Octavia, however, seems to genuinely not care about said instructions.  
  
"Whoever goes first has to whisper a question to the person on their right. That person has to say the answer out loud. The trick is that no one else knows the question. Then we're gonna flip this flip-flop up in the air and if it lands face up, the asker has to repeat the question out loud to everyone; if not, everyone keeps having no idea what was questioned." She explains.  
  
"Oh, and let's make it that all questions have our names as the answers, like, for example, you and one other person must be surgically bound together for the rest of your life, who is the other person? Some things like that, or just anything you can think of, no matter how weird or creepy."  
  
Lexa is deep in thought, while Lincoln just looks clueless about what to ask.  
  
"Any questions?"  
  
Nobody says anything.  
  
"Okay then, we're also gonna write down our questions just because I'll need to read them later and put them in the video so you viewers know what's going on. But everyone here will only know the questions when I post the video, so good luck with that. Let's get started! Lincoln, you first."  
  
"Alright." He replies, preparing himself. Lincoln gets closer to Octavia, then whispering on her ear, "One of the girls has to pay homage to "2 girls, 1 cup" with you. Who?"  
  
"Oh my god." She says, before letting out a nervous laugh. "This is hard, uh... Clarke."  
  
The couple starts laughing harder with the answer. Everyone else just looks completely confused and lost. Clarke looks alarmed.   
  
"The flip-flop, Lincoln." Raven reminds him.  
  
The guy does as told, and it lands face up.  
  
"So, what was the question?" Clarke asks, interested.  
  
"Which one of the girls would she rather pay homage to "2 girls 1 cup" with."  
  
"Oh my god!" She lets out, surprised.  
  
Lexa unsuccessfully tries to keep herself from laughing while Bellamy looks seriously disturbed.  
  
"That's a great question, dude!" Raven comments.  
  
"I know, right?"  
  
-  
  
"You have to be bonded with this person to form the human centipede. Who is it?" Raven asks Clarke, with a terrifying smile on her face.  
  
"You." She replies, without even blinking.  
  
"Ew! No! Clarke!"  
  
"You brought this on yourself, buddy."  
  
The flip flop lands face down.  
  
"The rest of you may never know..." Raven adds, smug.  
  
"You do remember once we watch the video, this whole mistery will be over, right?" Lexa replies, making Clarke laugh.  
  
"Damn it, you're right."  
  
-  
  
After nearly three rounds, everyone is a lot more relaxed now. Lincoln has his arm around Octavia's shoulders, while she looks curious about what's being asked.  
  
"This person is gonna turn into a baby and you have to raise them. Who is the person?" Clarke whispers to Lexa, who takes a reasonable amount of time thinking about her answer.  
  
"Raven."  
  
Bellamy, weirdly enough, is giving the girl googly eyes and looks surprised when he hears her name. Said girl, on the other hand, looks ready to fight a bitch.  
  
"This flip-flop better make you confess your dirty question to me." She whispers.  
  
Face down.  
  
"No such luck, dear."  
  
-  
  
"Who would make the best hooker?" Octavia whispers to Bellamy.  
  
"Easy, Lincoln."  
  
She gasps. "Why?"  
  
Bellamy looks offended, "He has the body for it!" he replies.  
  
"Are you saying me and the girls aren't hot enough to be hookers?" His sister bites back.  
  
Everyone in the room looks interested in the discussion, even Lexa, who was almost falling asleep with her head resting on Clarke's shoulder.  
  
Raven smirks.  
  
"Are you asking me to objectify you and our friends?"  
  
"But you can objectify my boyfriend, apparently?"  
  
"This is just a game, O! Don't take it so seriously!"  
  
"You're the one taking it seriously!"  
  
"Okay!" Clarke raises her voice. "Calm down, you two. Octavia, now everybody knows what the question was. Bellamy, stop talking, you just make her want to talk more."  
  
Raven frowns, sad that her entertainment was cut short.  
  
-  
  
As the fifth and last round comes to an end, everyone looks distracted and not really all that interested in the game anymore. Well, everyone but Raven, who still looks worked up as shit and extremely focused.  
  
Clarke is almost on top of Lexa, which makes Bellamy clear his throat in reminder that they're still on camera.  
  
"Okay, everyone, I think we better end this now, I'm already anxious to edit this shit and finally know what you bitches were talking about." Raven announces, getting up to cut the video.   
  
Lexa and Clarke stay in the same position, with the latter sitting behind the former, with her arms around her.   
  
"When the fuck did you even move and how did I not notice?" Octavia questions, taking a look at the girls.  
  
Clarke just shrugs.  
  
-  
  
**fuckybucky:** omg clexa in this video  
  
**officialgarbagecan:** are Clarke and Lexa dating?  
  
**clexatrash:** i can't  
  
**queenreyes:** lol raven was so into the siblings' fight omg  
  
**bitchcraft101:** i'm dying this is great  
  
**jmurphy:** subscribe to my channel  
  
-  
  
Lexa and Clarke are cuddling on the couch watching tv. Octavia had left them earlier, saying she'd be out on a date with Lincoln and wouldn't come home until the next day. The girls then decided to order some food and spend the night in.  
  
Clarke mutes the television.  
  
"So... I kinda want to ask you something." She mumbles, a little embarrassed.  
  
"What is it, Clarke?" Lexa turns to look at her girlfriend.  
  
"You know my dad recently moved in to the city, right?"  
  
She nods.  
  
"And I did tell you about the time we had to spend apart because of college and money and everything, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"Anyway, he really wants to start being part of my life again, in a matter of speaking, since we're a lot closer now, you know, geographically."  
  
Lexa hums in understanding, her head resting on Clarke's chest.  
  
"That being said, he wants to meet you."  
  
She doesn't answer.  
  
"Lexa? Did you hear me?"  
  
"I did hear you."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Lexa. It's okay if you don't want to do that yet. I can tell him it's too soon." Clarke slowly runs her fingers through her girlfriend's hair in a loving manner.  
  
"That's not it, babe."  
  
"Then what is it? Tell me."   
  
Lexa quickly kisses Clarke on the lips before speaking.  
  
"Honestly?"  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
"I know, stupid question." She sighs, "I don't think he's gonna like me very much."  
  
Clarke lets out a laugh. "Good one, now tell me the actual truth."  
  
Lexa sits up.  
  
"That is the actual truth. I'm not very likeable, Clarke, you know that. People usually misinterpret and think wrong of me."  
  
"I understand how you feel, really, but that's stupid, Lexa."  
  
"Why is it stupid, oh bearer of the unquestionable truth?" She mocks, rolling her eyes.  
  
Clarke takes Lexa's hands on her own.  
  
"Babe."  
  
"What? I'm just asking."  
  
"My dad is gonna love you."  
  
Lexa looks away, "What makes you so sure of that?"  
  
"I know him! I talk about you all the time and he already likes you a lot, alright? You make me happy, and that's honestly all he ever wanted me to be. And come on, you're both into comics and all that nerdy shit! You're probably gonna start hanging out without me!"   
  
Clarke gently runs her thumb against Lexa's cheek.  
  
"But what if-" She tries, but gets interrupted by a kiss.  
  
"I hate to cut you off, but that was necessary. We're gonna be together, Lexa. I promise everything will be okay. We're just gonna have dinner with him, my stepmother and Wells, and they're gonna love you."  
  
"It would make me feel a lot better if you considered the fact that they might, just might, not like me. Can you tell me I'm right and that that possibility exists, please?" Lexa insists, squeezing Clarke's left hand.  
  
"If that's what you want... Yes, this tiny possibility exists. You're right. But if that does happen, I'm gonna tell them all about how wonderful you are to me. Is that enough?"  
  
Lexa presses a gentle kiss to Clarke's lips. "More than enough."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Now, can I please finish watching Raven's dumb show?"  
  
"Yes, you can."  
  
-  
  
Octavia flicks a piece of bread to Clarke's head.  
  
"Dude."  
  
"What now, O?"  
  
"Is Lexa pregnant with your child or something?"  
  
Clarke looks confused. "What? Are you serious? What kind of question is this?"  
  
"I mean, you're introducing her to your family, that's kind of a big deal."  
  
"She's my girlfriend, Octavia. And I like her very much. Now, please tell me you don't honestly think it's physically possible for one of us to "accidentaly" impregnate the other."  
  
"I'm offended you'd think I know so little about anatomy. I was obviously joking."  
  
"I know you were." She lies, forcing an uncomfortable giggle. "Oh, thank god." Clarke whispers to herself.  
  
"I'm sorry, what was that? Did you say anything?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
-  
  
Lexa tries to hold her cellphone between her cheek and shoulder, with a shit ton of clothes in her arms.  
  
"Clarke, just tell me already, what should I wear?"  
  
"Lexa, if you went naked my family would still love you."  
  
"I'm serious."  
  
"So am I!"  
  
Lexa snorts in annoyance, before putting her outfits on the bed.  
  
"Just wear something comfortable, it's not a fancy dinner or anything. Oh, and bring your slytherin hoodie, I'm gonna be cold." Clarke continues.  
  
She lets out a laugh.  
  
"Can't you just wear one of your own jackets?"  
  
"That's not very romantic of you, missy." The girl complains in a joking manner.  
  
"Alright, I'll definitely bring my hoodie."  
  
"Thanks, babe, you're the best."  
  
"I sure am."  
  
-  
  
"Dad, I promise, we're gonna be there in like, five minutes." Clarke remarks, her phone on speaker as she drives.   
  
Lexa is sitting on the passenger seat, checking herself on the mirror.  
  
"Please, don't be late, Brenda is gonna be mad at me because I didn't let you know what time dinner was beforehand."  
  
"Don't worry, she won't know you forgot to do the only thing she asked you to."  
  
"Clarke, that's mean." Jake whines.  
  
"Don't be a baby, dad. Listen, I gotta go now, I'll see you in a bit."  
  
"I'll be waiting at the door."  
  
"Lexa, can you hang up for me, please?"  
  
Lexa lets out a nervous breath and does as asked.  
  
"You're nervous."  
  
"No shit, Sherlock."  
  
"You're mean when you're nervous."  
  
She looks apologetic and takes her girlfriend's hand from the driving stick as they stop at a red light, "Sorry, babe."  
  
"No problem, I understand. I mean, you are meeting your girlfriend's family, you have every right to be nervous about it."  
  
Lexa sighs, "yeah, but like you said, I'm being mean. That's not fair, you're not doing anything wrong."  
  
Clarke takes her eyes off the road for a second to look at Lexa.  
  
"When you put it like that..."  
  
She stretches herself to press a quick kiss to Clarke's cheek. "I'm sorry. Now, watch the road."  
  
-  
  
Jake opens the wooden door with a big smile on his face. The man is wearing a green cardigan with jeans and... crocs??   
  
"Hello, girls." He announces, politely greeting his visitors.  
  
"Hey, dad." Clarke replies, giving the man a quick hug.  
  
"And you must be Lexa."  
  
"That would be right. Nice to meet you, Mr. Griffin." Lexa offers her hand, but the man pulls her into a hug.  
  
"Call me Jake."  
  
"Uh, okay, er... Mr. -uh, Jake."  
  
Jake lets out a kind laugh. "Come on in, you two must be freezing out here." He leads them into the house.  
  
"Hey, you okay there?" Clarke whispers to Lexa teasingly.  
  
"Clarke, don't. I'm awkward."  
  
"I don't think you're that awkward, actually."  
  
"You're finally here!" Brenda yells from the back of the room, startling Lexa, who jumps in fright. "Oh, dear. I'm sorry, people say I'm a loud speaker."  
  
"Don't worry, I get frightened easily."  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"She's fine, Brenda." Clarke replies convincingly.  
  
"I'm Clarke's step-mom, you can call me... Clarke's step-mom. Or just Brenda." She pulls Lexa into a hug.  
  
"Hi, Clarke's step-mom, you can call me Clarke's girlfriend. Or Lexa."  
  
"I like her." Brenda announces to Clarke. "Nice to meet you, Clarke's girlfriend."  
  
-  
  
"So you're the famous Lexa Woods." Wells mutters, offering his hand.  
  
"You must be Wells. Her brother, right?"  
  
"How can you tell? Is it because we look so much alike? People get us mixed all the time."  
  
"I think you might need glasses, buddy." Clarke teases.   
  
The young man sits in front of his step-sister.  
  
"You're an artist, Clarke, why don't you recognize me as the masterpiece that I am? You could start by appreciating my jokes,... _buddy._ " He talks back.  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
"I'm sorry about them, Lexa. You know how kids are." Jake comments.  
  
Lexa lets out a laugh, which causes Clarke to make a face.  
  
"I sure do, Jake."  
  
-  
  
The dinner turns out great.   
  
Clarke's family seems to be enamored by Lexa, a fact that makes Clarke just a tiny bit jealous, but extremely proud.   
  
Apparently, Jake and Lexa do have a lot in common, so much so that she even invited him to one of the stupid nerdy conventions she loves so much.   
  
Of course he said he'd go, but later that night, he texted Clarke to ask if that was okay, saying he didn't want to force his presence into her and her girlfriend's lives.  
  
Clarke thinks she might be happy with how her life is turning out to be.  
  
-  
  
But then her phone rings when the clock strikes 3 a.m.  
  
She considers not answering, but thinks better of it.   
  
It might be important.   
  
And it is.  
  
The screen reads Lexa.  
  
"Hey, babe, are you okay?" Clarke rasps out, her eyes closing back again.  
  
"It's Anya."  
  
She sits up quickly, getting worried.  
  
"Is Lexa okay?"  
  
The woman hesitates.  
  
"Depends on your definition of okay."  
  
"Is she home?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Clarke grabs her keys and puts on the first pair of shoes she can find.   
  
"I'm coming over."  
  
"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One question, does anyone watch person of interest? Cause I was thinking Root and Shaw could make a special appearance, if you guys are okay with that. I have some very interesting storylines planned. I hope you guys are still interested in this fic. Once again, thank you for the patience


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa deals with a dillema; Raven gets some "special" visitors; Clarke and Lexa are pretty gay, as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, man... this chapter... I don't know how to feel about it. 
> 
> A lot of things happen, Root and Shaw are here. I couldn't really put a lot of Octavia but I hope that's okay. I think this chapter is very Lexa heavy but there's also a lot of Raven. 
> 
> Next chapter will be up sometime next week :)
> 
> Oh, and make sure to read the end notes cause I have some questions for you guys.

Anya opens the door to a worried looking Clarke. She's wearing pajamas, her hair is a mess and she looks like she really needs some sleep.  
  
She walks inside, not even stopping to pet Clint, who jumps on her legs.  
  
Lexa is on the couch, holding a bottle of what appears to be vodka.  
  
"Your girlfriend is here, Lexa." Anya announces, closing the door behind her.  
  
The young woman looks mad.  
  
"Why did you call her?" Lexa mutters.  
  
"I'm not your babysitter, Alexandria."  
  
She rolls her eyes.  
  
"I'll leave you two. Tell her what happened, Lexa." And with that, Anya walks to her bedroom.  
  
Clarke stands there, awkwardly. "...you're drunk"  
  
"Just tipsy."  
  
"Then why did Anya call me?"  
  
Lexa's eyes are red and her face a little swollen.  
  
"Probably because I could only stop crying after I started drinking."  
  
"What happened?" Clarke questions, worried.  
  
 Lexa looks at her girlfriend with an indifferent expression on her face, trying hard not to let her emotions show, but then her lower lip starts trembling and she seems to be about to break into a million pieces.  
  
"Baby." Clarke quickly sits down next to her, pulling the girl into her. "I'm here."  
  
"My mother called me today."  
  
She rubs gentle circles on Lexa's back.  
  
"My father is dead."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Lex."  
  
Lexa gently pushes Clarke away.  
  
"Thank you, but that's not why I'm crying."  
  
"Oh? What is it, then?" She takes a lock of Lexa's hair away from the girl's eyes.  
  
"It's what my mom said." Lexa looks destroyed, but tries to keep it in. She lets out a little sob.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
She nods, then taking a deep breath.  
  
"She wants to visit me, Clarke. She told me she wants to fix things between us." Lexa wipes her eyes with the back of her hands.  
  
"And what do you think about that?"  
  
"Honestly, I don't know. I mean, it's not like my father was the only asshole in that house. My mother was always so vicious and her words were like... venom, I don't know." She takes a deep breath. "But what if she actually changed, you know? She sounded so desperate and... sad. I feel kinda sorry for her. But again, why would she let him do all those things to me? Why would she not defend her own daughter?"  
  
"I don't know, baby."  
  
Lexa crawls back into Clarke's arms, silently begging to be held. Clarke doesn't need to be asked.  
  
-  
  
Clarke gets startled by the sound of her phone going off. Careful not to wake Lexa, she picks it up to see Raven's name on the screen.  
  
"Hi, Raven." She whispers huskily, one hand holding the phone to her ear, the other still gently massaging Lexa's scalp.  
  
"You need to get over here right now."  
  
"What- Why? I mean, is it really important? 'Cause Lex had a rough night, I don't want to leave her alone."  
  
They're in Lexa's bedroom, lying on the bed. Lexa is finally asleep. Clarke keeps caressing her girlfriend's hair.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that, Clarke, I hope she feels better soon." She pauses, then starting to whisper-yell, "My fucking foster sister is here! And she brought her annoying girlfriend with her! Please just get here as soon as Lexa is okay, promise? You can even bring her along, I don't care. Just help me get rid of the sociopathic monsters."  
  
Lexa shifts in the bed, slowly waking up. She opens her eyes to find Clarke with a big ass smile on her face. "Uh?"  
  
"Oh my god! I miss your sister so much! That's amazing news!" The young woman pronounces, then noticing her girlfriend's awaken state. "Sorry, did I wake you up?"  
  
Lexa shakes her head no and cuddles into Clarke.  
  
"I gotta go, Raven. But I'll be there as soon as possible." She hangs up on her friend.  
  
"Good morning."  
  
"Good morning, how are you feeling?"  
  
Lexa breathes out noisily. "I've been better. But you seem excited, what's up?"  
  
Clarke turns to look at her girlfriend. "Raven's sister and her girlfriend are visiting!"  
  
"I assume you're fond of them."  
  
"Yes! I mean, Root is weird, but I've always admired her. I suspect she has some kind of superiority complex or something like that, so she's not always easy to be around, but she would always protect Raven and I from bullies in middle school."  
  
"I didn't know Raven had any siblings, but it's great that you guys had someone to look out for you when you were kids. I already like her."  
  
Clarke looks at Lexa for a second, not really saying anything.  
  
"I love it when you give me the beautiful blue heart eyes, but why is this happening right now?"  
  
"I'm having an "oh, wow" moment."  
  
Lexa smirks. "What does that mean?"  
  
"You keep making me fall harder and harder for you when I thought that wasn't even possible."  
  
Clarke smiles like the smooth son-of-a-bitch that she is, while Lexa lets out an adorable giggle.  
  
"We're so sappy!"  
  
"I'm so gay." She replies, getting hit on the face by a pillow.  
  
"I thought you were bi?"  
  
"I am, but I'm still gayer than you." Clarke concludes.  
  
Lexa laughs, then scrunching her face in confusion.  
  
"That's impossible. I'm gay, you can't be gayer than me."  
  
"Stop ruining my fun, Lex! I have such a gigantic crush on you, it's not even funny."  
  
"We're a couple, Clarke. You're supposed to have a crush on me."  
  
"I suppose."  
  
Lexa shakes her head, pulling Clarke in for a deep kiss that ends in laughter.  
  
"Do you want to go to Raven's with me? You'll get to meet her sister!"  
  
"Only if you kiss me again."  
  
Clarke rests her hand on Lexa's cheek, with an enormous smile on her face.  
  
"That won't be a problem."  
  
-  
  
Raven rolls her eyes for what seems like the millionth time that day. She's standing in the middle of the living room, as her sister messes around with her stuff.  
  
"Can you like, stop touching my things?" She breathes out, annoyed.  
  
Ever since Root and her friend/girlfriend/partner/gal pal set foot inside her house, Raven's life has turned into complete hell. Sameen is rude and after only two hours of being there, she'd already managed to eat everything from Raven's fridge.  
  
"I'm just looking."  
  
"You know, to look at something you don't need to put your greasy hands all over said thing."  
  
It's her sister's turn to roll her eyes. Raven sits down on the couch as Root turns to face her.  
  
"What's up with you? Sam and I drove all the way from New York to see you and make sure you're alright and you've been nothing but rude to us." She complains.  
  
"First of all, why did you have to bring Shaw? She's a pain in my ass. Second of all, I don't need you to 'make sure I'm alright' or anything like that, Samantha."  
  
Her sister takes a deep breath.  
  
"I'm gonna stop you right there. Sameen may be a little hard to deal with, but I love her and she was worried about you. In her own way, of course. Second, please, for the love of God, stop calling me Samantha."  
  
"I'll try to be nicer, okay? But she could try to be less of a dick."  
  
Root sits down next to Raven and awkwardly hugs her.  
  
"Thank you. But I have no control over Shaw's actions, just so you know."  
  
Raven sighs.  
  
"I know. I'm just frustrated. You didn't even give me a call after- after he got arrested. And then you just show up and I don't know what's happening anymore." She vents.  
  
Root nods in understanding.  
  
"I've been busy with work for the longest time! I thought a visit would be better than a phone call. I'm sorry for not warning you, though."  
  
Shaw walks in with a frown. "This place is a maze. Where the hell is the bathroom?"  
  
"There's one right in front of you, dumbass." Raven answers, rolling her eyes.  
  
Sameen turns to Root with a confused look on her face.  
  
"Root, why is your little sister talking to me?"  
  
"Be nice, Sameen."  
  
"Yeah, be nice, Sameen." Raven throws a cushion at her, but the woman gets it before it can hit her face. "I thought you had to take a shit. Go ahead, Shaw, don't let me stop you."  
  
Shaw turns to look at Root once again. "I'll rip her head off."  
  
"Oh my god, just go poop already!"  
  
"Why are you assuming I want to do that?"  
  
"Then go pee or whatever you were about to do in the bathroom!"  
  
"In case you wanted to know, I was about to use all of Raven's expensive beauty products without her knowledge or permission."  
  
Raven tries to get up but Root blocks her with an arm and makes her fall back on the couch. Sameen smirks and finally gets inside the bathroom.  
  
"She's lying. She doesn't care about beauty products." Root reassures her sister.  
  
Then, from the bathroom: "I do, if they're for free!"  
  
Raven rolls her eyes for the billionth time that day.  
  
-  
  
**Mom:** Huge company party next weekend. I expect you to be there.  
  
**Clarke:** I already have plans.  
  
**Mom:** Then cancel then. I'm going to be honored and I would really like my daughter to be a part of that moment.  
  
**Clarke:** Congrats, I guess. I'll let you know.  
  
-  
  
"Lunch is ready!" Root yells at the top of her lungs. After getting her plate, she sits down at the table and waits.  
  
A minute later, Sameen and Raven show up.  
  
"What's for lunch?" Shaw promptly asks before grabbing a plate and taking a seat next to Root.  
  
"Steak."  
  
"Nice."  
  
Raven shakes her head in annoyance.  
  
"That's it? Just steak?"  
  
"That's it."  
  
Raven sighs, sitting down frustrated.  
  
"We're ordering food for dinner." She adds to her complaint.  
  
"It's not my fault you don't have a lot of options here. Steak was the only thing I could find after searching all over the kitchen." Root replies, not really caring.  
  
"Did you even check the storeroom?"  
  
Shaw stops eating for a second, then wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt.  
  
"You have a storeroom? Oh man, you are rich."  
  
-  
  
**Roomie:** where the fuck r u?  
  
**Clarke:** lexa's driving us to raven's  
  
**Roomie:** ok but where were u before that?  
  
**Clarke:** lexa's  
  
**Roomie:** ????  
  
**Clarke:** ???  
  
**Roomie:** did u forget to tell me? i was worried. i got home and u weren't there.  
  
**Clarke:** sorry, o. anya called me in the middle of the night, i had to come over in a hurry.  
  
**Roomie:** everything ok???  
  
**Clarke:** yeah, i'll explain it when i get home.  
  
**Roomie:** alright  
  
-  
  
Root opens the door and gets a mouthful of blonde hair and someone hugging her.  
  
"Oh my god, is this who I think it is?" She asks, before seeing Clarke's face.  
  
There's a brunette she's never seen before standing at the door awkwardly.  
  
The hugging beast lets go of Root.  
  
"Clarke Griffin! You're such a big girl now!"  
  
Clarke jokingly pushes Root, then pointing at the young woman next to her. "Lexa, this is Raven's foster sister, Root- do you still go by Root?"  
  
She nods.  
  
"Root, this is my girlfriend, Lexa."  
  
They smile at each other. Lexa offers her hand. "Nice to meet you."  
  
"Nice to meet you too.- Clarke, that's a hot lady you got there, good job!"  
  
Lexa feels her face redden. Clarke giggles.  
  
"I see you're still the same. Now, do you mind if we come in?"  
  
"Oh! Of course, come in!" She makes way for them to enter the house.  
  
Raven is sitting comfortably on one of the couches, with her legs spread open, while Sameen is sitting on the other one in almost the exact same position.  
  
"Finally!" Raven lets out, reaching out to Clarke and Lexa. "Take me away from this prison, guys! Take me!"  
  
Clarke slaps her hand away in a joking manner. "Stop being dramatic."  
  
"You obviously already know my baby sister Raven."  
  
That earns a glare from the young woman.  
  
"And that humanoid sloth is my girlfriend, Sameen Shaw." Root announces.  
  
"I'm not your girlfriend."  
  
"Fine. My gal pal, partner in crime, sex buddy, Sameen Shaw."  
  
Everyone but Sameen lets out a soft laugh. She shrugs as if to say 'close enough'. "Hey."  
  
"Hi, Sameen, I'm-" Clarke starts.  
  
Lexa interrupts.  
  
"Wait a minute."  
  
Everybody looks at her.  
  
"Sameen Shaw as in the navy legend, Sameen Shaw?"  
  
Sameen rolls up her sleeve and shows her forearm. A navy tattoo.  
  
"Probably."  
  
Lexa widens her eyes.  
  
"Sorry, I'm lost." Clarke lets out.  
  
"Sam here was kind of a big deal back when she was in the navy." Root explains.  
  
"But I thought you were in the army, how do you know her?"  
  
"Anya wanted to join the navy before getting in the army. She looked up to Captain Shaw. I've heard a lot about her."  
  
"Anyway, you guys were introducing yourselves...?" Sameen interrupts.  
  
"I'm Clarke Griffin."  
  
"Lexa Woods."  
  
Shaw shakes hands with both of them.  
  
"Nice to meet you, I guess."  
  
-  
  
"Babe, you were a hot mess talking to Shaw." Clarke mentions jokingly, putting on her seatbelt.  
  
"I know, right? She probably thinks I'm a loser now."  
  
"Come on-" They get startled by a voice coming from the back seat. "It's Shaw we're talking about, she thinks everyone is a loser."  
  
It's Root.  
  
"What the hell, Root! How did you get in here??" Lexa whines, with her hand on her chest. Clarke is just paralized.  
  
"Sorry! Didn't mean to give you a heart attack. I just thought I'd see how long it would take you guys to notice me."  
  
Lexa shakes her head in disbelief.  
  
"Root, would you please get the fuck out of my car before I punch you in the face?" Clarke jokes.  
  
"Woah! No need for violence, Clarke." Root replies, getting out. "Drive safely."  
  
Clarke nods, turning on the ignition. "Make sure Raven and Shaw don't kill each other."  
  
"I will."  
  
"Bye, Root." Lexa says.  
  
"Bye, Lexa. It was lovely meeting you."  
  
After saying her goodbyes, Clarke drives away from the house.  
  
-  
  
After Clarke drops her off, Lexa opens her house door feeling a lot better than the day before.  
  
She decides not to think about her mom yet. Maybe she'd bring the subject up on the next support group meeting, see what everyone thinks.  
  
The thing is, she really doesn't want any more drama in her life. Everything is finally starting to work, she's in a really good place in her relationship, she has friends... her mom would just screw all of that up and leave her life out of balance.  
  
But it would definitely bring a lot more happiness to her spirit if her mother had actually had a change of heart and if they could figure out a way to tolerate each other after all those years.  
  
Ugh.  
  
Let's not go there.  
  
Her peace is broken by Anya's frozen stare, from her place on the couch.  
  
"What's wrong, Anya?"  
  
Suddenly, there's the sound of someone flushing the toilet. Lexa frowns.  
  
"Do you have someone over?"  
  
"Lexa..." Anya starts, getting up.  
  
"What? Just tell me!"  
  
Her friend takes a deep breath, preparing to explain everything to Lexa, but then, a voice makes itself heard. And nothing prepared Lexa for who she saw standing in her house.  
  
"Alexandria."  
  
"Mother? What the hell do you think you're doing here?"  
  
This catches the woman off guard.  
  
"I was hoping we could talk."  
  
Lexa paces around her living room, stress and anxiety crawling through her body.  
  
"We- we just talked! On the phone! Don't you remember that? Don't you remember how you told me you'd give me time to actually think about whether or not I'd accept you walking back into my life?" She lets out, feeling her lungs getting more and more constricted, making it hard for her to breathe.  
  
"I know that, but I had to make sure you would actually consider having a conversation with me."  
  
Her mother sits down next to Anya, who looks at Lexa, quietly asking with her eyes if she should leave. No. Lexa doesn't want to be alone with the woman who gave birth to her.  
  
"Would it be that hard to call and let me know you'd be coming? Couldn't you have asked? This is my home, you can't just burst in like that. You lost that right years ago."  
  
She tries to get her point across, but her words come out rushed and almost hard to understand.  
  
Lexa scratches her arms without noticing the stress hives coming out. She can't breath right and her face feels hot.  
  
"You should go. I can't talk to you right now." She adds, spitting the words out of her mouth.  
  
"Alexandria, are you okay?" Her mother stands up, looking worried.  
  
"Get out."  
  
She tries to keep herself from hyperventilating, knowing that she's in the beggining of a panic attack.  
  
"Alexandria-"  
  
"I said I can't talk right now! Get. Out."  
  
Anya worriedly steps in.  
  
"You should go, ma'am."  
  
Lexa's mother, Kendra, looks alarmed, but then nods. "Okay. I will be back tomorrow."  
  
Anya escorts the woman to the door, Lexa quickly getting into her bedroom without another word.  
  
She turns on the ceiling fan, the air conditioner, but nothing makes her feel like she's not burning up.  
  
"Come on, Lexa." She whispers to herself, sitting down on her bed and putting her hands on her head.  
  
"Pull yourself together."  
  
Her breathing is heavy.  
  
Most of the time she can control herself, stop her panic attacks when they come, but the shock of seeing her mother makes things harder.  
  
The bad memories hit her all at once.  
  
It's as if she's living under her parents' roof all over again. It's as if she's suddenly back in the past, back where everything was fucked up and she couldn't do anything about it.  
  
"Anya?" She calls.  
  
Her friend quickly appears, worry clear on her usually so sharp and serious face. "Oh, Lex. Do you want me to help you out of it?"  
  
Lexa shakes her head no.  
  
"My phone." She breathes out.  
  
Anya gets back with the cellphone less than twenty seconds later. "Please yell if you need me."  
  
She nods and her friend leaves the room.  
  
Lexa dials the number she stuck to her head.  
  
_Calling Clarke..._  
  
_"Hey, babe. What's up?"_  
  
"Clarke? I need to hear your voice, talk to me." She manages to say, her breathing still harsh and uneven.  
  
_"Lexa, what's wrong? Did something happen?"_  
  
"Yes. Now, please just talk to me."  
  
She would explain everything to Clarke, but after she had calmed herself down.  
  
_"Okay. I love your smile. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, did you know that?"_  
  
"No."  
  
_"I do. And I love to run my hand through your hair. And to hold your hand even though it's so sweaty all the time. I know mine are sweaty too. I love to hear you laugh, I love your eyes, your lips, your tiny ears, your everything."_  
  
As Clarke speaks, Lexa can feel her breathing slowly start evening out.  
  
_"Do you want me to sing you a song? I could do that."_  
  
"That would be great, Clarke."  
  
And with that, Clarke starts singing You'll Be In My Heart, yes, the one from Tarzan- don't judge her, it's a beautiful song.  
  
After she's done, Lexa can feel a gentle smile forming on her face.

"Did you just sing a Tarzan song to me?" 

_"Yes, I did."_  
  
"Thank you, Clarke."  
  
_"Anytime. Are you feeling any better?"_  
  
"Yes." Lexa lies down on her bed, tired.  
  
_"Do you want me to sleep over?"_  
  
"It's okay, Clarke, don't worry. It's just that when I got home my mother was here. It really stressed me out and I ended up having a panic attack. But I'm fine now."  
  
_"Oh god, are you sure you don't want me to come over? Or to get you? I know that must have been hard for you."_  
  
"I just said it's okay!"  
  
Clarke is silent for a moment, a little shocked by the harsh reply.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be an ass, I know you're just looking out for me." Lexa adds, regretful.  
  
_"Yeah, I understand. Didn't mean to overwhelm you, though. I don't want you to feel alone, you know? Because you have me. And you can count on me whenever you need, okay?"_  
  
"I know. I love you, Clarke."  
  
_"And I love you."_  
  
Nat starts scratching the door from outside and Lexa gets up to open the door for the cat to get in.  
  
"I'm going to bed now. We'll talk tomorrow."  
  
_"Alright, goodnight, Lexa."_  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
Lexa tries not to think about the fact that her mother said she'd be back tomorrow.  
  
She'll be ready then. She'll be prepared.  
  
Everything will be fine.  
  
Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Should Lexa consider talking to her mother? Do you guys think she's being sincere? 
> 
> Also, we're almost nearing the end of this fic, I don't know exactly how many chapters we have left but I'd say about 4-6 maybe? 
> 
> Another thing, I have some ideas for a new au after I'm done with this one, should I do it or nah? I'll give you some more information when I'm sure about it.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a great week :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa deals with her mother; Clarke makes an important decision; Raven and Octavia have an "interesting" talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to update this yesterday but I didn't have time, sorry about that.
> 
> I loved writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoy reading it as well.
> 
> tw: mention of past abuse; mention of suicide attempt;

Lexa wakes up from a dreamless night. After talking to Clarke the day before, she quickly fell asleep, her body emotionally exhausted after all the drama with her mother.   
  
She cooks breakfast quietly, not noticing Anya's absence in the house.   
  
It's still barely 8 a.m.   
  
There's a lot she could get done before having to face her mother again. So with that in mind, Lexa eats, brushes her teeth, washes her face, feeds Natasha's fat ass, and goes out for a run with Clint.   
  
8:45 a.m.  
  
She gets back home and before taking a shower, sends Clarke a quick text:  
  
**Lexa (8:47 AM):** Good Morning, Clarke. Come over for lunch later?  
  
When she comes out of the bathroom, Lexa checks her phone and finds a reply from her girlfriend.  
  
**Clarke (8:49 AM):** Thanks for waking me up, loser. I'll be there.  
  
**Lexa (9:24 AM):** Sorry, babe. I didn't know you were still sleeping, I've been up since 7:30.  
  
**Clarke: (9:26 AM):** Don't worry about it. Are you feeling okay?  
  
**Lexa (9:26 AM):** I have to be.   
  
-  
  
Clarke and Lexa are busy washing the dishes when Anya arrives from god knows where.  
  
"Hello, Lexa. Clarke." After receiving a quick nod from the visitor, Anya turns back to her housemate, "Are you feeling any better?"  
  
Lexa cracks her knuckles, then taking a deep breath. "Yeah. I'd rather not have to deal with my mother today but I guess I have to do it sooner or later, right? It's better if we just get it over with."  
  
Clarke rubs her wet hands on her pants, in a lame attempt to dry them without using any cloth. When satisfied with the result, she quietly wraps her arms around Lexa's waist from behind, resting her chin on the young woman's shoulder.  
  
"You don't have to talk to her if you don't want to, you know that, right?" Anya inquires, frowning.  
  
"I know. But I need to get some closure. It'll be hard but I'm sure I can handle it, you know I've endured worse." Lexa comments, relaxing with Clarke's embrace.  
  
"Still. What's your plan?"  
  
Clarke presses a gentle kiss to Lexa's cheek in support.  
  
"Just saying whatever I need to. After that I have no idea."  
  
-  
  
Kendra rings the doorbell when the clock strikes 3 p.m.   
  
Anya opens the door and escorts the woman inside, then guiding her to sit down on an armchair facing the couch. There, in that couch, Lexa and Clarke are seated.  
  
Anya takes the spot next to Lexa, who's now in the middle of the two young women.  
  
Nobody says a thing until Lexa clears her throat uncomfortably.  
  
"Mother, this is my girlfriend, Clarke. And you know my best friend, Anya. My terms of condition to having this conversation with you include their presence. I understand you might think this is awkward but I guess you deserve to feel a little awkward after making me go through hell."   
  
She sighs before continuing.   
  
"They will not say anything unless it's highly necessary. Do you accept?"  
  
"Yes, I do. It's nice to meet you, Clarke. I didn't know Alexandria was in a relationship." Kendra replies, after some painfully slow seconds.  
  
Clarke nods without showing emotion.  
  
"Cut the crap. We're not here to talk about my relationship. But that brings me to an interesting question: when I dated Costia, you and my father were quite the homophobic assholes. What changed?"  
  
Kendra lets out a nervous laugh.  
  
"I guess I deserve to be called that. I see now that I was wrong and your father and I were way out of line when we found out about your sexuality."  
  
"You didn't answer the question." Lexa breathes out, rolling her eyes.  
  
"I honestly don't know what to say. I'm still not used to picturing you with a woman but if it makes you happy, I don't care. You have to understand what made me be so harsh to you was the fact that I didn't want you to suffer for being gay. I didn't want you to be gay because I didn't want you to have to deal with the prejudice that comes with it."  
  
Anya crosses her arms, looking bored. Clarke tries not to look at Kendra while Lexa nervously bounces her leg.  
  
"So you decided to be my bully? You decided to shield me from the prejudice of other people by covering me in yours? What kind of shitty parenting is that?" Her voice cracks.  
  
Kendra looks at her own hands in her lap, clearly ashamed of her actions.  
  
"I apologize. I can't change what happened. But I assure you I regret what I did and I'm willing to learn and grow and become a better mother if you give me the chance."  
  
Lexa takes a deep breath.  
  
"I don't know if you know that, but what you and my father did... it scarred me. I had depression when I still lived with you and instead of helping me, you decided I'd be better off not getting a decent treatment.   
  
My father sent me to ICU after almost killing me when I came out to you both and you just stood there doing nothing to stop him."  
  
Lexa speaks in a controlled and almost impersonal way. Clarke stares at her girlfriend, as if she could feel her pain.  
  
"After that, you let him beat me up every other day. You ignored me for a month. Yeah, I remember that." She almost smirks.  
  
"You called me names, mocked me, emotionally abused me, you- you never showed me anything other than your hatred. Why should I trust anything you say?"   
  
Clarke carefully grabs Lexa's sweaty hand in an attempt to show support. Anya is staring at Kendra, who visibly weeps.  
  
"What? Am I supposed to feel sorry for you now? Now that it's your turn to cry I should feel bad?"  
  
Lexa's mother shakes her head and sobs before taking a deep breath and replying.  
  
"I've been doing therapy for about a month now. When your father fell ill, it was recommended for me to do so, because it would help me deal with his passing- that was after I was informed the cancer was terminal.   
  
All I have to say is that I'm deeply sorry and I know that that's not enough, you have every right to hate me for the rest of your life.   
  
I'm not going to try and give you excuses as to why I did what I did. I did it because I was a bad mother, because I was never supposed to have children- your father and I- we were never meant to be parents. But we had you and- I have to tell you, I don't regret having you.  
  
Even with all of my mistakes- and your father's- you still managed to evolve into an amazing woman and I can't give myself credit for that. I gave birth to you but I realize now that I was never your mom, never a parent, I never gave you the support, the love and the help you needed and deserved. I'm sorry."  
  
Lexa is in distress. Her eyes are tearful and her nose burns.  
  
She feels angry and sad and content and- what is she actually feeling? She can't quite figure out.   
  
Clarke is quietly crying and all in her mind is her mom, Abby.   
  
Was she too harsh on her?   
  
She feels stupid for being so upset about something that seems so silly compared to what Lexa's been through with her mother.  
  
She's conflicted.  
  
Anya is staring at the ground, probably blocking every thought that goes through her mind. She will not waver. She will not let Kendra fool her. Lexa might, but she will keep her eyes wide open as she's not going to let her friend be ruined again.  
  
Lexa breathes with difficulty and tries to concentrate in the task at hand.  
  
"I'm glad to hear that. But like you said, that won't change the past. The way you came over unannounced last night makes me think that you're not being entirely honest with me. What do you have to say about that?"  
  
"I was afraid you wouldn't give me a chance to apologize. If you decide not to accept me in your life, I will understand that, but I wanted to let you know that I love you and I'm proud of who you are and I regret every little thing I did that caused you pain."  
  
Lexa nods before speaking.  
  
"One last thing. Do you remember that night in november when I tried to kill myself?" She questions.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"When I decided to do that, the last thing that went through my mind was that there was nothing I could do that would ever make you proud of me. That would make you love me. I thought I would never be missed, because I didn't matter. So even though I don't care about whether or not you're proud of me anymore, thank you for proving me wrong." She finishes, closing her eyes trying to keep the tears from falling.  
  
Anya stands up, alarming Kendra, who stands up as well.   
  
"Don't give up on the therapy, you're making progress. You can text me in the holidays, but please don't call again or try to talk to me until you finish your treatment. After that, we can talk again and see if anything changes." Lexa mumbles, when her mother is about to leave the house.  
  
After that, she hugs Clarke tight until Anya comes back and joins in on the hug.  
  
-  
  
The rest of the day is slow and quiet, Anya leaves for work and Clarke decides to keep Lexa company.  
  
They're lying on Lexa's bed when Clarke decides to speak.  
  
"Are you free this weekend?"  
  
Lexa opens her eyes to answer the question.  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"Would you like to be my date to this fancy ass party my mother's company is throwing?"  
  
She smiles in response.  
  
"It would be my honour, beautiful. But where is this coming from? I thought you wanted nothing to do with your mother?"  
  
Clarke shifts in her spot, turning towards her girlfriend.  
  
"You were so brave today. If you had to face your mother, I might as well face mine too. Besides, it probably won't be that bad."  
  
"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel obligated to do that just because I did."  
  
"Don't worry, Lex. You might have given me the little push I needed but the decision was made solely by me." She presses a gentle kiss to her girlfriend's lips.  
  
Lexa smiles.  
  
"So... should I get a dress or a tuxedo?" She asks, making Clarke giggle.  
  
"Oh, babe. You'd look hot naked."  
  
-  
  
Octavia gets home and is surprised by Raven, who's sitting on the couch watching tv.  
  
"Hey." She mumbles, then putting the television on mute.  
  
"Hi, Raven." Octavia sits carelessly next to her friend, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek before taking a deep breath.  
  
"What's wrong, O?"  
  
Octavia looks weird. She's usually so hyper and positive but something seems off.  
  
"Nothing. I'm just thinking."  
  
"About what?"  
  
She sighs.  
  
"Lincoln and I have been talking about our future and somehow we ended up deciding to have an open relationship. At least for a while."  
  
Raven frowns in surprise.  
  
"Oh. How do you feel about that? I mean, I thought you guys were pretty monogamous. What happened?"  
  
Octavia shifts on her seat to look at her friend.  
  
"Well, he recently started talking about us moving in together and maybe I don't know, getting married? But even though we've been together forever, I think it's too soon for that, you know?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"So I've been thinking a lot and... I love him, I really do, you know that. But I don't think it'd be right for me to make a decision like that when I'm not sure if that's what I want."  
  
Raven nods, encouraging Octavia to keep talking.  
  
"Anyway, I've never really stopped to get to know myself and to experience different things and, you know what I'm saying, right?"  
  
"Oh, man..." Raven lets out a laugh. "You told Lincoln you wanted to have sex with girls? Oh my god, O, you're my hero."  
  
Octavia giggles before elbowing her friend on the ribs.  
  
"How did he take that?"  
  
"Pretty well. You know Lincoln, he's a gentleman. He was very supportive and told me I should definitely take the time to do whatever I feel the need to and he just wants me to be happy and, you know, nothing will really change between us, just the fact that I might have sex with other people for a while? And he's free to do the same? I don't know, I'm just trying to make sure I'm not missing out on anything."  
  
"Holy shit, Octavia Blake, are you saying you might not be as straight as you thought? Also, will Lincoln be having sex with men?"  
  
Octavia glares at Raven.  
  
"I mean, Lincoln is amazing, I love that he's being so supportive of you, you deserve someone like that."  
  
"Better."  
  
"But are you, though? Saying you might not be straight?"  
  
"God dammit, Raven!" Octavia giggles.  
  
"Come on, O! We're best friends! There's no need to be shy. I had sex with Anya last night, you're not the only one questioning your sexuality."  
  
Octavia's laughter turns into a coughing fit.  
  
"What? And you didn't tell me? What the fuck!!" She slaps Raven's arm.  
  
"I didn't tell anyone!"  
  
"You fucking slept with Lincoln's cousin! I hate you so much right now!"  
  
Raven rolls her eyes.  
  
"You slept with Anya's cousin."  
  
"She's your employee!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Couldn't she, like, charge you for sexual harassment?" Octavia questions, slightly worried.  
  
"She gave me consent so I don't think she will."  
  
"Do you trust her?"  
  
"Calm your tits, it was just sex! It's not like I'm in love with her or anything."  
  
"Alright, then."  
  
Octavia scratches the back of her neck in thought.  
  
"How was it?"  
  
Raven looks confused for a second.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"The sex. How was it? Did you like it?"  
  
She shrugs.  
  
"I guess. It was great."  
  
"I guess? Now who's the one acting shy? Come on, Raven, you once described your first time in disgusting detail!"  
  
Octavia crosses her arms in annoyance as Raven sighs, giving up.  
  
"Okay! It was amazing and I came four times. Is that enough for you?"  
  
"Fuck! Can you give me her number? I'd love to cum four times too!" Octavia teases, letting out a soft laugh.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
-  
  
**Clarke (5:17 PM):** Hi, mom. Decided to come to the party. As long as I get to bring my girlfriend. What do you say?  
  
**Mom (5:20 PM):** Hello, Clarke. I'm glad you're coming! You can bring whoever you want. Thank you.  
  
**Clarke (5:21 PM):** Okay. See you soon, then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? 
> 
> Next chapter will probably be up by Monday. 
> 
> Tell me what you think! 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby's party happens; Raven is Raven; Lexa meets Clarke's mom;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not satisfied with this chapter (I kind of hate it) but I promised you guys it'd be up today, so...
> 
> PS: There's a time jump of about 3 months after the "---" so keep your eyes open for that.

The weekend comes faster than Clarke expected. Suddenly, Lexa's already at her door and they have to leave for Abby's party.  
  
She wears black high waisted dress pants, a white button-down short sleeved shirt with black details and black open toed high heels. Clarke, however, decided on black tight pants with a white silk shirt, a black blazer with some details made of sequins, and black heels.  
  
"Wow. You look beautiful." Lexa mumbles, when her girlfriend opens the door.  
  
Clarke chokes.  
  
"What's wrong? Do I look bad?" She worries, checking herself.  
  
"You look so hot I think I'm gonna pass out."  
  
Lexa lets out a giggle. "You're such a dork. Come on, you don't want to be late to see your mother being honored, do you?"  
  
Clarke closes the door behind her and pulls Lexa into her for a deep kiss.  
  
"I love kissing you but I have to drive, babe." She mumbles, breaking the kiss and pulling Clarke by the hand towards her car.  
  
"I'll let you drive but only if you let me take your clothes off when we come back. How about that?"  
  
Lexa widens her eyes in surprise.  
  
"You're cheeky today. I might just let you do whatever you want."  
  
Clarke lets out a naughty smirk.  
  
-  
  
**Lincoln (8:37 PM):** do you know some dude called Roan?  
  
**Raven (8:38 PM):** i think there's a roan that works for me. why?  
  
**Lincoln (8:38 PM):** cuz he's been sending me dick pics and when i asked him who gave him my number he said you did.  
  
**Raven (8:39 PM):** oops, my bad.   
  
**Raven (8:39 PM):** since we're talking, how about u and o schedule a 3some with him since ur spicying things up?  
  
**Lincoln (8:40 PM):** not gonna happen, sorry to disappoint. why did you give him my number tho?  
  
**Raven (8:41 PM):** idk just thought since o is experimenting with girls you might as well experiment w guys  
  
**Lincoln (8:41 PM):** lol thanks for looking out for me but i'm not really attracted to guys.  
  
**Raven (8:41 PM):** ok then, i'll ask roan to leave u alone  
  
**Lincoln (8:42 PM):** Thanks  
  
-  
  
**@OctaviaBlake: @RavenReyes** stop giving my bf's number to horny dudes pls  
  
**@RavenReyes: @OctaviaBlake** you're no fun :( Can I give his number to horny girls then?  
  
**@OctaviaBlake: @RavenReyes** i hate you  
  
-  
  
By the time they arrive, there are already over two hundred guests inside. The place is pretty large, though, so it's still very organized, full of tables with fancy people eating, drinking, and probably talking shit about one another.  
  
Arkadia Inc. is always on the spotlight, since they've been the ones behind almost every important medical research, new drugs, and revolutionary treatments to diseases that were once incurable.  
  
Marcus Kane, Abby's husband, is the CEO, while Abby herself is the head of surgery and leads almost every research.  
  
Clarke easily finds her mother, who's seated at the largest table, holding a glass of champagne and laughing politely at something one of the guests probably said.  
  
She slowly makes her way there, holding Lexa's hand.   
  
"Excuse me," She starts, trying not to embarrass her mom in front of all those people.  
  
Abby turns around to see her daughter and lets out a smile, getting up.   
  
"Clarke! I'm so happy you came!" She pulls her in for an awkward hug.   
  
Clarke smiles politely before speaking.  
  
"Mom, this is my girlfriend, Lexa Woods."   
  
"It's so nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Griffin."  
  
"It's Kane, actually. Abby Kane."  
  
"Oh, sorry. Mrs. Kane."  
  
Clarke frowns at the awkwardness.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Lexa. You can call me Abby, Mrs. Kane is way too formal."  
  
Lexa lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding.   
  
Abby smiles at both women, then excusing herself to go back to the guests, promising them she'd be back later so they could talk.  
  
Clarke is pulling Lexa towards the buffet table when they accidentally run into someone.  
  
"I'm so sorry." She offers, not seeing the person's face.  
  
The woman lets out a laugh, making the couple finally notice who she is.   
  
Raven Fucking Reyes.  
  
"Raven? What the hell are you doing here?" Clarke questions, clearly confused.  
  
"My crew is documenting the event, didn't you know?"  
  
"I wouldn't know, since you never told me."  
  
"Oh, sorry then, dude. I probably forgot."  
  
Raven is wearing a beautiful red dress.  
  
"Also, I've been working on some projects with Arkadia Inc."  
  
Clarke frowns whilst Lexa looks genuinely curious.  
  
"...Okay, then." She replies, still clueless.  
  
Lexa starts looking around, knowing the rest of the conversation probably wouldn't be very interesting, but then she's the one frowning.  
  
"Is that Anya over there? What the hell?" She interrupts Raven's speech about god knows what.  
  
"Uh? Where?" Clarke asks, interested.  
  
Raven rolls her eyes.  
  
"Yes, it's Anya." She mentions.  
  
"Oh, she's your assistant, I keep forgetting that." Lexa shakes her head as if she's the silliest person to ever exist.  
  
"Actually, she's here as my date."  
  
Clarke widens her eyes in shock, while Lexa chokes in her own saliva.   
  
"What?"  
  
"She's my date."  
  
"Yeah, right." She sasses, rolling her eyes.  
  
"I'm telling you, Lexa. I asked her to come as my date, not my employee."  
  
"If that were true, she would've told me."  
  
Raven smirks. "It's cute you think that."  
  
"If what you're saying is true, how come you didn't ask Octavia? She'd come." Clarke intercepts, "And you're a lot closer to her than you are to Anya."  
  
"Oh, believe me, Octavia is quite busy at the moment."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Fuck, you two really don't know shit, do you? I'm not telling you anything, ask Octavia. Bye." And with that, she simply walks away, not stopping when called back.  
  
Clarke and Lexa look at each other.  
  
"Are you as confused as I am?"   
  
"Yep. Now come on, let's get some food, I can't think with an empty stomach."  
  
-  
  
After Abby receives her honors, the rest of the party is pretty uneventful, apart from when they bump into her husband.  
  
"Oh, hello there! Clarke! You look lovely! It's great to see you after such a long time." He then turns to Lexa.  
  
"Marcus Kane, Clarke's step-father." He holds his hand out for her "You must be Lexa Woods!"  
  
"I am! Nice to meet you, sir. If you don't mind me asking, how do you know who I am?" She shakes his hand.  
  
"I saw your interview on Raven's show." Marcus mentions.  
  
"Oh!"  
  
"Lexa is my girlfriend, Kane." Clarke steps in.  
  
"Oh! That's fantastic! You make a beautiful couple." The man smiles sincerely.  
  
"Thank you, Marcus." She smiles back, not feeling as tense as before.  
  
"You're welcome, Clarke."  
  
-  
  
_"Hey, Raven?"_  
  
"Octavia? What's up?"  
  
_"Can you come over after the party?"_  
  
"Sure, why? I thought you'd be having fun with that chick I introduced you to, is anything wrong?" She questions after taking a sip of her wine glass.  
  
_"Uh, not trying to be picky, but she's kind of a rude ass bitch. She insulted me and left."_  
  
"What? Seriously?"  
  
_"Yeah, dude, I'm not joking."_  
  
"Give me a sec." Raven puts her phone away from her ear, "Anya, can you please add 'fire Danielle' to my to do list, please?"  
  
Anya frowns.  
  
"I thought I wasn't here for work."  
  
"You're not. But since you're already here, it doesn't cost you anything to do this little favor for me, right?"  
  
She sighs, then taking her cellphone to do as told. "Fine. Fire Danielle. Done."  
  
"Thank you." She winks, then putting her phone back to her ear.  
  
"By tomorrow she'll be out of a job."  
  
_"Raven! You don't have to fire the chick just because she insulted me!"_  
  
"Yes, I do. Besides, she was a slacker anyway. Sooner or later she'd be fired."  
  
Octavia sighs.  
  
" _Alright. Call me when you're nearby."_  
  
"Does tiny Octavia want big bad Raven to cuddle her and protect her from all evil?"  
  
_"Shut up. Are you seriously flirting with me in front of your date?"_  
  
"She doesn't mind."  
  
_"Whatever you say, Raven."_  
  
-  
  
Clarke and her girlfriend head over to Lexa's.  
  
Lexa is nervous. She'd been looking forward to the end of the party so she'd finally get to have sex with Clarke.  
  
They get inside and Lexa guides them to her room, making sure to keep Clint and Natasha out. How creepy would it be to have your cat and dog staring at you while you go down on your girlfriend? Yikes.  
  
After a month of dating and always "almost" having sex, that would be their first time.  
  
God, Lexa could barely wait.  
  
They've been taking things slow but this was almost painful.  
  
Clarke takes off her jacket, then sits down on the bed to get rid of her shoes. Lexa kicks her own heels off her feet.   
  
"So..." Lexa says, awkwardly, sitting down next to her girlfriend, who lets out a nervous laugh.  
  
Clarke slowly pulls Lexa in for a kiss, not trusting herself with words. She straddles her girlfriend's waist, shifting to sit on her lap.  
  
"Can I take off your shirt?" Lexa asks, breaking the kiss. Clarke nods, raising her arms to help her girlfriend with the task.  
  
Lexa stops for a second to look at the young woman in front of her, who smiles smugly, making the older blush.  
  
"You're cute." Clarke mentions, taking off her bra, which makes Lexa's eyes widen at the view. "Don't be shy, Lexa."  
  
She takes her girlfriend's hands and guide them to her breasts, then pulling her back in for another kiss.   
  
-  
  
Lexa starts giggling.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I was looking at your boobs and I'm positive they were looking back at me." She replies, giving Clarke a peck on the lips.  
  
Clarke laughs warmly. "I love you, you big dork."  
  
-  
  
Lexa is making her way to the kitchen to get some water when she is surprised by Anya's presence.  
  
"What are you doing home? I thought you'd be spending the night at Raven's!"  
  
"Raven is at your girlfriend's house with Octavia." Anya replies, taking her mug of tea out of the microwave.  
  
"Oh? Were you really her date though?"  
  
"Yes, why?"  
  
"I just thought it was weird because you didn't mention anything." Lexa opens the fridge, staring at its contents.  
  
"It's not like I have to tell you about every person I fuck."  
  
Lexa slams the door closed in shock. Her eyes and mouth widen so much they might as well fall out of her face.  
  
"Excuse me?" Lexa asks, not sure if she heard right. "For a second there I thought I heard you say you slept with Raven."  
  
"I did." Anya replies, not changing her demeanor.  
  
She blinks slowly, trying to make sure she's not still asleep.  
  
"You had sex with my girlfriend's best friend? What the fuck is wrong with you?"  
  
Anya shrugs.  
  
"What do you want me to do with this information?"  
  
She shrugs again.  
  
A scream coming from Lexa's bedroom startles the women.  
  
Lexa runs to her room to find Clarke laughing hysterically with Clint on top of her. She forgot to lock the door on her way out. Fuck.  
  
"Sorry, it's my fault, I got up to get water and I left the door open. Didn't mean to wake you." She mentions, guiding her dog out of the bedroom.  
  
"It's alright. Come here." Clarke extends her arms in her girlfriend's direction.  
  
Lexa quickly presses a kiss to her lips before lying down in bed again.  
  
Then she remembers what Anya had just told her.  
  
"Clarke..."  
  
"Yeah?" Clarke kisses her again.  
  
"Can I ask you a hypothetical question?"  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Hypothetically speaking, if your girlfriend's hypothetical best friend hypothetically slept with one of your hypothetical best friends, and your hypothetical girlfriend found out, would you like her to tell you? Of course, it's a very hypothetical situation."  
  
Clarke stares at Lexa, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I couldn't understand a word of what you just said."  
  
Lexa sighs, closing her eyes forcefully before speaking.  
  
"Anya and Raven slept together."  
  
Clarke laughs, covering her face with her hand.  
  
"Why is that funny?"  
  
"I was right! God! I knew I was right!"  
  
Lexa just looks at Clarke, not quite understanding.  
  
"Raven was going out with that Wick guy but then she told me about how things weren't really working out for them and I kind of imagined she'd end up having sex with Anya."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because they spend a lot of time together and Raven is horny all the time? I don't know."  
  
Lexa lets out a cute laugh.  
  
"Can we stop talking about them now? I want to make out with you."  
  
"Why am I dating you?"  
  
"Have you seen my boobs? They're great!"  
  
"Yes, I have seen your boobs. In fact, I'm looking at them right now, since you're naked in my bed."  
  
Clarke pulls Lexa in for a quick kiss. "Speaking of which, why aren't _you_ naked? Unfair."  
  
And with that, she makes it her mission to get Lexa to undress again.  
  
\---  
  
**@ClarkeGriffin: @LexaWoods** and I have an amazing video planned for you guys! It'll be up soon!  
  
**@LexaWoods: @ClarkeGriffin** ;)  
  
-  
  
"Well, hello, viewers! I'm Clarke Griffin and today I have a very special video! I called the beautiful Lexa Woods to help me out, as you can see."  
  
Lexa smiles at the camera, feeling nervous.  
  
They were finally going to do it.  
  
After dating for four months, they were doing the girlfriend tag and going public with their relationship.  
  
To be fair, most people already assumed they were an item, so it wouldn't really be that different.  
  
"Lexa and I are here today to do..."  
  
"The girlfriend tag!" They finish the sentence together.  
  
Both women stop for a second, making surprised faces at the camera.  
  
"Yes! The girlfriend tag! You guys finally have an answer, Lexa Woods is my girlfriend!"  
  
"Clarke Griffin is my girlfriend! What??? I'm crazy lucky, right?"   
  
"Shut up."  
  
Lexa presses a gentle kiss to Clarke's cheek, making her blush.  
  
"Okay, let's start! Where did we meet?"   
  
"I mean, we first met in person in a party at Raven's." Lexa answers, "But the first time I saw you was in one of your videos. That one where you and Octavia had a Q &A."  
  
"Your first video that I watched was the one you talked about Lincoln having sex very loudly." Clarke replies, "Oh, and by the way, guys, Lincoln's girlfriend is, believe it or not, my roommate, Octavia."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"And she was the one who convinced me to check out Lexa's channel, which I did and the rest is history. Where was our first date?" Clarke smiles shyly.  
  
"Our first official date was after we were on Raven's show. Clarke and I had a little fight and she drove me to her special place and it was the best first date I ever had."  
  
Clarke wraps Lexa in a side hug.  
  
"What was your first impression of me?" She asks, resting her head on Lexa's shoulder.  
  
"I thought you were gorgeous and very talented and I had an instant crush on you."  
  
"Same. I also thought you were incredibly smart."  
  
"Thank you, babe."  
  
Clarke presses a chaste kiss to Lexa's shoulder. "When did you meet my family?"   
  
"I met your dad's side of the family at dinner in his house and your mom's side at Arkadia Inc.'s party."  
  
"And I met your mother back when she visited you three months ago."  
  
"She didn't meet my father because he passed away. Also, he wasn't  in my life anymore so... it doesn't really matter."  
  
"How long have we been together?"  
  
"Four months?"  
  
"Four months." Clarke presses a quick kiss to Lexa's lips. "Do we have any traditions?"  
  
"Sometimes we have game night with our friends, does that count?"  
  
"I guess. We don't really have traditions apart from that one, I think."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What is our favorite feature about each other?" Clarke asks, reading the questions from her phone.  
  
"I have to say it's a tie between her beautiful blue eyes and her boobs."  
  
Clarke lets out a laugh, shaking her head.  
  
"My favorite feature about you is your cute smile and your abs."  
  
"Not my boobs?" Lexa questions, fake upset.  
  
"I love your boobs but I love your abs more!"  
  
"Alright, I guess."   
  
Clarke kisses Lexa's cheek.  
  
"Do we have any nicknames for each other? Uh, I call you Lex sometimes, and babe, baby, the whole corny pet name thingy. We're cheesy, guys."  
  
"I don't like pet names. At all. But..."  
  
"But she calls me babe, darling, beautiful, baby, gorgeous, comfy boobs, uh... what else?"  
  
"I think they've heard enough, Clarke." Lexa insists, her cheeks flushing.  
  
Clarke smiles comfortably, feeling a wave of happiness washing over her.  
  
"What is something that I do and you don't like?"  
  
"I don't like it when you embarrass me in front of your viewers." She looks at the camera, "And that whenever I'm mad at her, she tickles me until I have to forgive her."  
  
"Fair enough. Something that I don't like about Lexa is that she made my dad love her so much that he calls her more than he calls me. But I guess I like that they're friends because they're two of the most important people in my life so..."  
  
"Aw, babe."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm cute, I know. Who said I love you first? Easy, Lexa said it first."  
  
"It was an accident though, and it was way too soon but Clarke said it back and it was actually kind of sweet."  
  
"Yep."   
  
Clarke and Lexa high five.  
  
"What is my eye color?" Clarke closes her eyes.  
  
"The most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen. What about mine?"   
  
"Green, but sometimes they look blue, which is very confusing to me. Your eyes are pretty crazy, I love them."  
  
"We're so sappy, why do people want to see us like this? It's embarrassing."  
  
"I know, right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very frustrated at this chapter but I hope at least some of you like it. I promise I'll try harder next time. 
> 
> Next chapter: probably next Monday 
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think, I'm starting to get demotivated again and your comments make me feel a lot better.
> 
> Thanks for reading and I wish you all a great week


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another day in Clarke and Lexa's life: some domestic shit; Octavia has great news; Lexa finds out about Raven's "secret"; Clarke, Abby, and Marcus have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm finally back with a new chapter!! Enjoy!

**clexa4lyfe:** I KNEW IT  
  
**lexaismydaddy:** whoomp there it is  
  
**clarkekomskaikru:** mY hEART  
  
**clexasputa:** They're so cute what the fuck  
  
**RavenReyes:** ;)  
  
-  
  
**@RavenReyes:** _Stop calling **@ClarkeGriffin** and **@LexaWoods** moms i'm an only child!_  
  
-  
  
Clarke wakes up to the ringing of her cellphone. Lexa is curled on her shoulder, their legs entwined. Sun rays coming from the window lighten the room.  
  
"What time is it?" Lexa questions, yawning afterwards.  
  
"I have no idea." She presses a warm kiss to her girlfriend's hair before stretching herself to reach for her phone in the tiny table next to the bed.  
  
_Mom._  
  
She slides her finger across the screen to accept the call.  
  
"Hi, mom."  
  
_"Hello, Clarke. I hope I didn't wake you up, I know how you like to sleep in late."_  
  
"It's alright. What do you need?"  
  
Lexa sits up on the bed, then slowly walking towards the bathroom. Clarke gets distracted by her naked form and fails to hear anything coming from the phone call.  
  
_"Clarke? Are you there? Can you hear me?"_  
  
She blinks forcefully with a shake of her head.  
  
"Sorry, mom. You were saying...?"  
  
_"Would you come over for lunch? Marcus and I are going on a business trip today and I was hoping I could see you before leaving."_  
  
Clarke frowns. "Oh. Of course. Let me just check with Lexa-" She turns her attention to the open bathroom door, taking her phone away from her ear. "Lex?"  
  
Lexa looks back at her girlfriend, her toothbrush hanging from her mouth. "Yes?"  
  
"Can I borrow your car to visit my mom today?"  
  
"What's wrong with yours?"  
  
"What isn't wrong with my car, Lexa? It's the third time this month that bathtub with wheels fucks me over and leaves me stranded in the middle of the road."  
  
Lexa frowns. "I have to meet up with Raven and Anya but I could drop you off at your mom's before that if you want." When finished speaking, Lexa goes back to brushing her teeth.  
  
"Thanks, babe, that'll do." Clarke puts her phone back against her ear, to address her mother. "I'll be there, mom."  
  
_"Great! Tell Lexa I said hi."_  
  
"I will. See you later. Bye."  
  
She ends the call and puts the phone back on the tiny bedside table as Lexa walks into the bedroom. Clarke pats the space next to her on the bed, smirking. Her girlfriend lets out a smile of her own.  
  
-  
  
**Octavia (10:37 AM):** _dude lincoln just asked me to move in with him holy shit_  
  
**Clarke (10:40 AM):** _did u say yes??_  
  
**Octavia (10:40 AM):** _i told him i had to check with u first bc we live together_  
  
**Clarke (10:41 AM):** _but do u want to move in w him?_  
  
**Octavia (10:41 AM):** _yea_  
  
**Clarke (10:42 AM):** _then say yes!_  
  
**Octavia (10:43 AM):** _r u sure? i know u can afford the rent on ur own but that means ur gonna be alone_  
  
**Clarke (10:43 AM):** _it's okay O i'm always at lexas anyway_  
  
**Octavia (10:43 AM):** _great! i'll let him know :) ily_  
  
**Clarke (10:44 AM):** _love you too <3 and i'm happy for u_  
  
**Clarke (10:44 AM):** _seems like that open relationship thing really worked out for u guys_  
  
**Octavia (10:45 AM):** _thanks babe <3 ikr i feel a lot closer to him now. its weird. id explain but you might not understand since ur a monogamous lil shit_  
  
**Octavia (10:46 AM):** _never knew id find out new things about my sexuality so late in the game lol_  
  
**Clarke (10:46 AM):** _i am a monogamous lil shit but i love that ur so happy w lincoln now and that ur happy w yourself. so if you ever want to talk about it u can always come to me_  
  
**Octavia (10:47 AM):** _I LOVE YOU SO MUCH CLARKE GRIFFIN I'D DIE FOR YOU_  
  
**Clarke (10:47 AM):** _lol gay_  
  
**Octavia (10:47 AM):** _fuck u_  
  
-  
  
"Hey, love?" Lexa calls from the bathroom, wrapping a towel around her body after showering.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Could you take Clint on a walk? I still have to record a new video before my meeting and I don't think I'll have the time. I mean, only if you're not busy."  
  
"Sure, I was about to do that anyway." Clarke replies, tying her shoes.  
  
She wasn't lying, Clarke was really about to take Clint on a walk. Lately she's been getting a lot more active, going jogging almost every morning.  
  
Lexa walks in the room, still only on her towel. Her wet hair drips on her shoulders.  
  
Clarke smirks. "You've been my girlfriend for four months already and I'm still blown away everytime I see you, what's up with that?"  
  
Lexa feels her face fill with warmth, "If it makes you feel any better, you can still make me blush everytime you say things like that."  
  
She gets up from the bed and circles her arms around her girlfriend's waist, "It does." then pressing a loving kiss to her cheek. "I love you, Lexa."  
  
"I love you too, dork. Now go walk the dog because I have a lot of things to do and I cannot have you distracting me." She gently slaps Clarke's ass.  
  
-  
  
Lexa parks the car near the large house. After dropping Clarke off at her mother's, she turned up her music and sang all the way to Raven's place.  
  
She gets out of the car, slamming the door behind her, and then walks towards the house and rings the doorbell.  
  
Anya opens the door for her not even a minute later.  
  
"Hey," she mumbles, not making the effort to sound nice.  
  
"Hello, Anya. I see you're joyful as always."  
  
"Shut up, loser." She accidentaly lets out a smile, which makes Lexa laugh before coming inside.  
  
Raven is standing in the kitchen, with a bowl of cereal in her hands, eating carelessly.  
  
Lexa makes her way there, then taking a seat on one of the bar stools.  
  
"You do know it's 1 pm, right?" Lexa inquires.  
  
"I don't care." She lets out, not minding when milk spills on the floor when she shakes the bowl.  
  
Lexa grimaces at the mess.  
  
When she's about to speak her mind, she notices something.  
  
"Anya?" She calls.  
  
Her friend sits down next to her, "Yes, Lexa?"  
  
"Why is Raven wearing the superman boxers I gave you?" She questions, calmly.  
  
Raven widens her eyes, almost choking on her cereal.  
  
"Uh... She... she borrowed them?" Anya tries, hiding her desperation. It's almost impossible to get Anya nervous about something, so her reaction tells Lexa there's something weird going on. For sure.  
  
Lexa shakes her head in annoyance. "Dude! What happened to the code?"  
  
"I'm sorry, what are you talking about?" Raven asks, not that interested in eating anymore.  
  
"You're not supposed to lend the most important representation of our friendship!"  
  
Raven keeps interrupting, "Are you saying these dorky ass boxers represent your frienship? Does Clarke know you're that much of a loser?"  
  
"Shut up, Raven! But answering your question, of course Clarke knows I'm a loser, we've been together for almost five months for goodness sakes!"  
  
Anya finally decides to intervene, "Come on, Lexa! Don't tell me you never let Clarke borrow your Batman ones."  
  
"That's different. Clarke is my girlfriend, that's not a code breach and you know it." She rolls her eyes, then stopping herself for a second as she comes to a conclusion, "Wait a minute! The Anya that I know would never break our code, she's a rule follower at heart, which means- You two are dating and didn't tell me. Okay, what the hell?"  
  
"Oh, boy." Raven goes back to desperately eating her cereal.  
  
Anya breaks the tension, "Raven and I are not-"  
  
Lexa's angry stare stops her mid-sentence.  
  
She sighs, "God! Fine, we're dating. Happy now?"  
  
"Why didn't you tell me? I'm your best friend!" and then, "Does Clarke even know?"  
  
"We were gonna tell you! And no, Clarke does not know."  
  
Lexa sighs in annoyance, "Raven!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Clarke is your best friend!"  
  
"I know! We were going to tell you guys together! It hasn't been that long." Raven answers, finally done with her never-ending bowl of cereal.  
  
"Are you kidding me? You've been sleeping together for months!"  
  
"It's not my fault Anya doesn't have emotions and is very hard to read!"  
  
"Excuse me! I thought you were straight!" Anya barks, offended.  
  
"Really? What part of my tongue down your throat or my 7-inch dildo inside your asshole seemed "straight" to you?"  
  
Lexa chokes on her own spit at the same time that Anya widens her eyes.  
  
"Raven! Are you trying to murder my best friend??"  
  
Lexa looks up, her eyes watering, and in the midst of her coughing, she forces her next words out:  
  
"God, I am ready to join you in heaven, take me now. And while you're at it, erase these last five minutes from my memory. Amen."  
  
Anya rolls her eyes as Raven starts laughing.  
  
-  
  
Clarke is seated at the enormous dining table. Her mother, Abby, is across from her, while Marcus, her stepfather, takes a seat next to Abby, a smile on his face.  
  
After the servants appeared with the food, Abby started trying to make conversation with her daughter.  
  
"So, how have you been?"  
  
"I'm great." Clarke is visibly uncomfortable, which makes her mom confused. Earlier she was fine on the phone! Wasn't she?  
  
"How's Lexa?"  
  
"She's great."  
  
Abby frowns.  
  
"What's wrong with you?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong with me." She fidgets with the fork in her hand, looking down at the table.  
  
"Clarke!"  
  
She drops the cutlery on her plate. "Fine. I'm angry because you're leaving. _Again._ You weren't there for me when I came to terms with my sexuality, you weren't there for me when _that_ thing happened, you weren't there for me in my graduation, you were just never there! I needed you and you weren't there! Okay? So yes, this is what's wrong with me. I'm not over what we've been through." Clarke huffs, a little shaken.  
  
Marcus looks uncomfortable, but then again, she doesn't blame him.  
  
Abby takes a deep breath, frowning. She opens her mouth to say something, but Clarke beats her to it.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
She widens her eyes in surprise.  
  
"It's not your fault I pushed you out. I guess I wanted you to fight for me, but you were just respecting my wishes. I was mad for years because I thought you cheated on dad. I thought you were going to build another family and abandon us, so I abandoned you because it would be easier. So... yeah."  
  
"You don't have to apologize, Clarke." Marcus starts, "You were just a kid when all of that happened. I'm sorry I didn't make an effort to get to know you and make you feel included and loved. We were the adults, we were supposed to be your support system, but we failed. I'm deeply sorry. I'm glad Jake has always been a great father to you."  
  
Clarke lets out a tiny smile.  
  
"Thank you, Marcus. I accept your apology. You're a good man, I shouldn't have judged you so harshly."  
  
The bearded man smiles back.  
  
Clarke turns her attention to her mother, who's silently crying.  
  
"Mom,"  
  
"No. You were right to push me out, Clarke. I didn't put you first. You're my daughter and I didn't treat you like you were. I'm sorry. I truly regret all the years I missed because of that."  
  
The older woman awkwardly tries to dry her tears away.  
  
Clarke grabs Abby's hand on top of the table.  
  
"Can we all just forgive each other and start over?" She inquires, a kind look on her face. Marcus and Abby nod.  
  
After three months of not knowing how to behave around her mother and stepfather since they got back in touch, Clarke starts to think maybe this time everything will genuinely get better.  
  
-  
  
Lexa takes a relieved breath as she sits down next to her girlfriend on the loveseat.  
  
Between finding out about Anya and Raven's relationship, and having a near-death experience because of that, that was definitely not the calm day she was expecting to have.  
  
Clarke immediately wraps her arm around Lexa's shoulder, bringing her closer.  
  
"How was your day?" She presses a kiss on the top of her head.  
  
Lexa slowly lets herself relax in her loved one's hold.  
  
"Surprising, I would say."  
  
"Mmm, anything you wanna share?", Clarke lets out a lazy yawn.  
  
She's got her legs propped up on the loveseat, her knees bended in front of her.  
  
The tv was on when Lexa got home, but Clarke hasn't been really paying any attention to it since then.  
  
Lexa is almost lying down, her arm thrown around Clarke's belly, her face pressed to her chest.  
  
She's considering telling her about their friends, but maybe that wouldn't be a very good idea, would it? Maybe Clarke would get mad at Raven for not telling her sooner and Lexa really did not want to start unnecessary drama.  
  
Natasha meows from her position sprawled on the floor next to the loveseat, and to Lexa it almost sounds like she's meaning to say: "Bitch, just let Raven tell her own best friend about her new relationship. You have no right to tell Clarke."  
  
Her cat is probably right.  
  
"I know," she lets out.  
  
Clarke frowns in confusion.  
  
"Were you talking to me or Nat just now?"  
  
"Nat." She confesses, which brings a smile to Clarke's lips.  
  
"So? Nothing worth mentioning?"  
  
Lexa sighs, "Okay, there is something that is absolutely worth mentioning. However, I cannot tell you about it because it is personal information from someone else and I just figured it out by accident and they will tell you themselves anyway."  
  
"Oh. Is it something bad?"  
  
"Nope. It's great, actually. I think you will be happy when they tell you."  
  
Clarke yawns again, "So it has to be something about Raven, right? You were with her today and she's my best friend, so she wants to be the one telling me."  
  
Lexa nods, hugging her girlfriend's body even closer to her.  
  
"You could probably guess it but you really shouldn't try to, it would make Raven sad. I think sharing this with you will be good for her."  
  
"Thank you for caring about her." Clarke presses another kiss to Lexa's hair.  
  
"She's my friend too, of course I'd care about her, baby."  
  
"It's still cute," she lets out another yawn.  
  
"I think you want to go to bed, don't you?" Lexa asks, slowly sitting up.  
  
"I do, but I didn't want to fall asleep before you came home. I wanted to hear about your day, like the good girlfriend that I am."

She giggles, "You're sweet. I'm home and we've already talked enough about my day, so you don't have to worry about that anymore. I would ask you to talk about _your_ day but I think we should leave that for tomorrow morning, right?"

Clarke pouts, earning a kiss from her girlfriend. "Fine. Will you come with me, though? I don't want to be alone." 

"I'm not falling asleep anytime soon but I can lie down with you and we can cuddle while I read a book. Does that sound good?"  
  
She caresses her girlfriend's cheek gently, then pulling Lexa in for another quick kiss, "Perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Make sure to give this procrastinating bitch some feedback, I need it to live. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has been so nice and patient, you guys are great.
> 
> Only one more chapter to go! 
> 
> That being said, I'm already starting to work on a new fic, if you want to know anything about it just hit me up.
> 
> As always, you can find me on tumblr at commander-griffins

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so let me know if I get something wrong or if I can improve this in some way.


End file.
